January 28, 2008

That Hat

Given to Mom by Jesus

I am just a thick winter hat of a deep blue tone. For most months, I am just stuck in a box and even most winter days I am there. I am one of those waiting for company who forgets their own hat. But the man started wearing me after Christmas. I think his favorite black one needed washing. But he liked me because I was snug and not stretched out. I liked being worn by the man. He loved to be outside so I wasn’t in the box much. We traveled around a lot too most often in a white car. When the man got too warm he just took me off and set me beside him on the seat. The gloves, his bible, and me got the honor of being next to the man. Often we would hear him pray or he’d pick up the bible and read it when we weren’t in his work. I felt special to be worn by this great man.
On that Monday morning I was on top of his head as usual getting ready to leave for the day. The man kissed his wife goodbye and she lovingly stroked his beard. They gazed at each other deeply then said "I love you." Then we walked out into the cold winter air and got into the white car. As the man and his friend chattered, he slipped me off and raked his fingers through his hair, then put me on again as we headed into his work. Outside then inside we went that day to several different buildings, a bank, a car dealer, a grocery store, a shopping store, finally we were heading home in the dusk of the evening. It got quite warm in the new truck the man had gotten. He took me off and placed me next to him on top of the gloves his family had given him for his birthday.
Suddenly there was a horrible scraping sound of metal and a terrible blow of such force that spun the truck around and sent me flying off the seat. Finally everything stopped and there was an eerie silence. Moments later I heard a faint sound like singing and even though the outside air was cold there was a warmth surrounding us-the man and me. Then I saw the most precious thing. Angels and the face of Jesus. His hand beckoning the man to come. Light filled the truck as the man’s soul opened his eyes and the angels guided him up toward the Lord Jesus. Jesus was just smiling down at the man and then wrapped His arms around him. The man had many questions. But the Lord just smiled and said, “Let’s go home; my Father has it all taken care of. Don’t worry; He heard your prayers. They are safe in His arms.”Then they were all gone. The warmth left and the light faded. Darkness and cold surrounded me. I could hear men’s voices and the sound of sirens in the distance. I felt so honored to be worn by such a man; and even more honored and thrilled to witness his going home to Heaven. The woman wears me now, making her feel close to her man, reminding her Jesus is near, and that God the Father is honoring the man’s prayers.

January 25, 2008

The LORD's Hand

Yesterday morning,my devotional sent me to Isaiah 59:1-2 "Behold the LORD's hand is not shortened, that it cannot save; neither his ear heavy, that it cannot hear: but your iniquities have separated between you and your God, and your sins have hid his face from you, that he will not hear." Two things really jumped out at me. One was that God can reach those I feel helpless to reach: distant friends, missionaries across the sea, strangers I had one-time encounters with, a child who won't listen to reason. All these can be reached through prayer. And secondly, my sins can halt that communication. It separates me from God! And that is a scary thing. There is a spiritual war going on, and my sin puts me on the bench. And who likes to sit on the bench? So I run to Jesus, confess and repent, receive his cleansing, and get back in the game.

January 21, 2008

Waiting in Silence

Silence is a rare thing in this home with three rambuncious boys, but the other night I took them over to a friends home not far away.. As I walked into the warm house again, silence enveloped me. It was the strangest thing to have the house all quiet and it not being the middle of the night. Even then the dog is snoring! I spoke out loud to the quietly sleeping dog, and my voice sounded so loud in the childless house. As I waited for my friends to arrive, I expected the Lord to say something since He had my undivided attention. But that was not to be. Silence....just silence. Sometimes I feel like that in my prayer life, that I have sought for answers and direction and receive only silence. But I remember reading in a devotional once that when God is silent it is usually because He is quietly at work behind the scenes. And in the meantime, I am to grow in the waiting process. It can be so hard to wait in silence. Yet, in the past God has answered in His time, and He will do so again, I am sure. For the moment, I was to just trust in His quietness.

January 19, 2008


Years ago I went to a Mother's Day Tea and the speaker spoke about the many hats we wear as woman. Boy, did I ever feel like that this week: single mom, teacher, financial steward, daughter, student, provider, aunt, ladies fellowship organizer, humble receiver of gifts, snow removal operator, prayer warrior, sister, maid, dictator, and the list goes on and on. I am getting used to these different roles, but this week it seems I was switching them hourly. Like being on a track and veering to the right then suddenly left then doing a 180 and then a sharp left turn again........One role I never change from is child of the King. And I am ever thankful that the Holy Spirit never changes and is with me no matter what role I am doing. Jesus Christ the same yesterday and today and forever Hebrew 13:8

January 14, 2008

This Is Best

My first birthday without my husband was just months following his death. I was surrounded by family that day, and though their presence was a great comfort, oh, how my heart was aching. I remember just sobbing as the pain seemed to engulf me and no relief seemed in sight.

"Oh, Lord, if I didn't love him so much, this wouldn't hurt as much!" I thought.

Very clearly the response was "I love him more than you, and I said this is best."

"But the boys need their father!" I cried.

"And I love them more than you do, and I said this is best."

"But I hurt sooooo much, Lord!!!!"

And He tenderly answered, "And I love you more than you can ever imagine and I said this is best."

Many, many months have past since that day, but the Lord's words have stayed with me, wrapping me in security and love. He said this is best.
I don't have to understand why, or have all the answers. I just know He loves me. It was that great love that held Him to the cross, not the nails. That amazing love that cleanses me and keeps me. And that love is enough.

January 13, 2008

God Says McDonald's

Sunday am: I was getting ready and thinking about what to feed the boys, when I felt the Lord tell me, "Go to McDonald's" We never go out to eat on a Sunday morning, though we have ate on the way to church before. "Lord, we got to leave by 8AM to be able to do this." I told the boys of the plan and by 8 o'clock we were out the door. On the way, I kept wondering what was going to happen or who we would see there. As we walked up to order, the mom of some of our bus kids greeted us from off to the side. The whole family had come to church before Christmas and they had been heavy on my mind. I had been determined last week to stop by their home. In fact, in my purse I had a church bulletin as well as coloring pages for their youngest daughter who had been in my Sunday School class. But some how I never had accomplished my goal. Here was the reason for the strange instructions to eat out , and why the boys had woken up extra early this morning. I made sure I got the pages in my purse to her letting her know I'd been thinking of her. Only God knows why this day was better than last week. God's timing is perfect though we certainly aren't.

January 12, 2008

Snipp and The Wolf

He walked very hesitantly, balancing the flashlight and the bucket. Quickly, for the third time, Snipp raced back toward the house, tears streamed down his cheeks. My momma's heart wanted to go take his hand and walk him through the darkness to his destination. But a greater wisdom said this was a battle he needed to face on his own. So once again, I encouraged him and prayed over him, then sent him back out into the winter night. I cheered him on through the window........he walked uncertainly till he got to how far he had gotten before. He shined the flashlight all around him into the darkness, then back at me still at the window. Ever so slowly, Snipp crept forward out of the glow of the yard light toward the darkness; he still shined the light all around him cautiously. Finally, he reached his destination. Snipp dumped the bucket and walked, still cautiously but with a little more confidence, back to the house. I met him at the door cheerfully. His cheeks were still damp from previous tears and he looked very solemn. "You did it!" I exclaimed to Snipp. "Yay, the eyes in the woods were really headlights on the road. And it wasn't a wolf, but a board in the weeds,"he remarked with a smirk as he said the last part. We hugged and I think he had grown 2 inches taller. Sometimes what we fear most is really a lie in our mind and it is actually something harmless.

Email from God

Several nights ago, it was one of those where I am so missing my dear husband and his arms.........and I was telling God I wish He sent emails. And I began to wonder what He would say....His thoughts on my failures today and lack of being content in Him ......and the first email that opened was one of
e-flowers for me!! Why do I so often forget how much God loves me? And like a little girl I ran to Him to bask in His amazing love for little me.
Thank You, Jesus!