Parasaurolophus

Through our church's Jr. Church program, Snipp received a dinosaour fossil kit. It was a rather cool project for him. First he had to unwrap this dino egg. We had him do this over a cookie sheet; the instructions said an easily to clean surface:) Snipp used a tool to dig in the dirt excavating "bones". Then he diligently used the brush to remove the dirt. Finally, he worked tediously to assemble the bones. He worked on this project for at least an hour.

When I checked on him, Snipp had just the two front arms and one leg to assemble. Now the instructions said to check for dirt in the holes if assembly was difficult. But my frustrated son noticed that the pieces themselves were not fitting properly. I took a look at it and three minutes later, I was frustrated too!

I decided to just superglue it together for him. Twenty minutes later, I still had no progress. Pieces weren' t glueing well and others were falling off!! Temptation to just give up was strong. My son encouraged me to remember not to quit................

Twenty more minutes went by........some success as well as superglue on six of my ten fingers! I still wanted to quit, throw it in the garbage, and just cry. Yet I did neither. My love for my son compelled me on, as did Snipp's belief in me that I would get it together. So I continued.

Twenty more minutes later, after one leg that was glued fell off as I attempted onced again to glue on an arm, and more glue on my already gluey fingers, I finally succeeded to get it together though it looked very frail.

Carefully, as not to bump the table, I slipped away to take a mental break almost expecting it to be in pieces again the next time I looked at it. Amazingly enough, it stayed together so very, very gently I move the fragile Parasaurolophus to my china closet. And I went off to find a nail file to file off the dried superglue from my fingers.

God's lesson to me in all this: Don't quit!! These little ones are believing in me! Out of love, persevere and don't do anything rash (like smashing up a parasaurolophus and throwing it away). Just keep going when it seems like things will never go together as I envision it.

Another note: A day later, my son was in tears about something he was to do, that he thought he was unable to do. "I can't" echoed off the walls of our home. I took him to the china closet to my friend the Parasaurolophus. Amazingly, he was together, though he still looked as though he would fall apart any minute. I haven't even touched him to see how sturdy he is. Anyway, back to my son.
Through his tears, I had him look at the dino who had caused him and me such frustration. I shared with him that I didn't think I could either. And that he had told me to not give up, not to quit. I shared how his words had encouraged me and how my love for him made me press on. Then I encouraged him to do the same. To not give up and just say "I'll try". Then really try. And out of love for Jesus just to not give up.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

This morning an adorable little Snapp gave me a charming smile and said, "Yes, ma'am!" as he scampered down the stairs to obey my command. I called him back up and thanked him for speaking so respectfully to me. He said, "You're welcome!" Then rushed down the stairs again as this words floated back up to me, "I like it when you speak respectfully to me too, Mom." And as he went on his errand, I sat and let those words soak into my mind and my heart. As a parent I am trying to teach these boys to show respect to authority and elders. Often I feel like I am teaching the wind. My mind travelled to years ago, a lifetime ago, when my husband was here on earth. I pondered our relationship and remembered how from the beginning it was saturated with respect for each other. We did some things wrong, but this one thing we did right. We had great respect for each other. And that respect keep us from doing or saying many things that entered our minds. I know it did on my end. I have a quick, deadly tongue at times and yet it didn't flare out at Jim. Even when I was very upset, I could tone it down when I shared my bundle of emotions. My respect and love for him made me keep my tongue in check. This was something Jim taught me by his example. An example the boys and I now lack.

As I sat and pondered Snapp's comment, I thought of how we as parents are so quick to expect and even demand respect from our children. Yet we forget it that they learn best by example, our example. When we speak respectfully, they learn to speak respectfully. When we treat others with respect, especially them, they learn how to be treat others with respect. I will admit I have really dropped the ball on this these past three years. Thankfully, the Lord used my child to teach something yet again.

Be Holy

"Be holy, for I am holy" the Lord says in His word. Forever I felt like this was saying be perfect, be without fault. And in my mind I knew it was unattainable. Like always being corrected on every little thing from a pertectionist teacher, I threw up my hands and said "I give up, I'll never do it right." Then a friend gave me a book about holiness. It sat for months on the shelf looking pretty. But I had no desire to read it. Recently when I rearranged the book shelf, curiousity over took fear of condemnation and I took a peak........and continued reading.

Then....... lightbulb!!!! There is more than one explaination for holy. Holy is pure and undefiled, yet it also means special, set apart. I am called to be set apart to God, special. Like the ground Moses stood on, it wasn't pure, it was special,set apart because of God's presence. I have the Spirit of God living in me. That makes me special, set apart because of God's presence. And once again I stand amazed at the truths of God.

I will have to share more as I read more. I just had to share this in case someone else thought it was unattainable to be holy as God calls us to be.

Prayer Lessons

Over the last couple months, the Lord has been teaching me lessons about prayer. Not simple little whispers of prayer, but how to battle in prayer for others.

Lesson 1:PERSISTENT PRAYER IS NOT NAGGING GOD, IT IS SEEKING HIM TO DO WHAT ONLY HE CAN DO.

April 21st the Lord gave me a new nephew. Like Samuel, this baby was much prayed for. You see his big sister was not born alive and it was through much prayer that his mommy got pregnant with him. When it finally seemed like God said it was time for him to be born, I got the call and began to pray. And pray........and pray..........and call a dear friend and pray........and text for more prayer support and pray...........and pray...........and call a friend again and text more and pray................30hrs later with only a break of 4 hr of sleep God answered those many prayers. We rejoiced, but within hours God had us back on our knees again for there was a medical problem. By morning, God had healed that issue, but another arose. Back on the phone, and back on my knees I went. Finally it seemed that things were looking good, they could go home, when again another concern and back on my knees the Lord had me go. They are home now and he is the sweetest, healthiest baby:) I have still to get out of state to see this new precious child, but I feel like I have labored and birthed him myself in prayer.

Lesson 2:FASTING COUPLED WITH PRAYER IS A SERIOUS SPIRITUAL WEAPON.

I have a dear friend read a truth in her Bible and was determined to adjust her life to what it said. But the devil doesn't like to release us that easy. Days later she shared that she couldn't do it; the perceived negative fallout was like a road block. My heart grieved for this was more about her relationship to God and her belief about the Bible than the issue in front of her. I felt the Lord remind me that this was a serious spiritual battle that required intense prayer and fasting. So for the next 24hrs, I prayed and fasted. I didn't share it with others; I just silently interceded on behalf of my friend. With 24hrs after that, I received a call from my friend who had shared how God used a couple different people to show her that what He said was the right thing to do. And so she took the step of obedience to His Word.

Lesson 3:GOD DOESN'T ANSWERS OUR PRAYERS IN OUR WAYS, BUT HE ANSWERS IN THE WAY HE SEES BEST.

Another dear friend was facing a situation that was emotionally overwhelming. A situation that could be explosive and leave many painful memories at a crucial time. Again the Lord called me to be her armour bearer. This time I felt like a secret agent praying behind the scenes of a play asking the Great Director to make everything go smoothly. Each day I asked for specific things and some of it He flat out did the opposite. I felt like we were walking on a tightrope, but He did keep the strife away. He did it in ways I wouldn't have chosen, but He answered the overall prayer of my heart.

Lesson 4: PRAY ISN'T A DUTY, IT IS A PRIVILEGE.

A dear friend was leaving on a trip far across the ocean. (Those of you who have had a loved one die in an accident may understand the fear that grips your heart when someone you care about travels.) So I found out when she was leaving and returning and committed myself to pray for her that whole time. I took my earlier lessons of getting prayer support and applied them to this situation: I contacted friends by text and phone to be in a prayer group and asked another dear friend to be my daily prayer partner. I also text or emailed my traveling friend daily to let her know we were praying. I took this on because I felt it was my duty to pray for her; I learned it was actually a privilege to do so. You see, the Lord laid on my heart certain words for us to pray over her each day. He gave these words to me the morning she left. And to hear from her how she need those words on those specific days just reminded me again of the sovereignty of God.

Lesson 5: OBEY THE PROMPTINGS OF THE HOLY SPIRIT

God is still working on me! Too often something like the following happens. There was a time I felt I was to call my prayer partner and reasoned in my head why the timing wasn't good. Later to my shame, I found out my friend needed prayer at that exact time!! God hadn't let her be unprotected, but He did allow me to miss the blessing of seeing Him work. Another lesson.

Six years ago, a lifetime ago it seems, I shared with the Lord I wanted to become a prayer warrior with stories of triumph to share. These recent lessons reminded me that the Lord is molding me into what I desire to be. I am reminded often that being a prayer warrior is not an easy or glorified role. It is draining, intense, sweaty work!! Sometimes I am required to charge head long into a spiritual battle with my sword swinging. Sometimes I am required to struggle along beside a friend carrying their burden like a armour that is too heavy for them to bear alone. Sometimes I am called to be shut away from the action and just pray in faith for what I can not see. Each time I stand amazed that the Almighty Creator of the universe cares enough to intervene on our behalf just because He loves us. Just because He can.

Kisses from God

Several weeks ago, I had a date with God. I know to some of you this might seem strange. Actually it is necessary for me in my growth as a person and as a Christian. Some moms seek "ME Time," these moms share how they need alone time to recharge. For me, I find that what the Bible says "for without Me ye can do nothing."(John 15:5) is true. Time with God is refreshing, rejuvenating, and necessary.
I have my daily time with my Lord morning and night, but just as it is highly recommended to have dates with your spouse, I apply that to my relationship with the Lord. I get alone somewhere with a journal and my Bible. In the past, I have sought God for answers on big decisions, healing on grief issues, or strength through tough times. This last date with God was a little different. I felt Him seeking to talk to me about a few things....things He wanted me to change. I knew it was going to be a date filled with tears, but also lots of love. God loves us the way we are, but He loves us too much to let us stay that way. I knew I was suppose to look over some lessons that the Lord had brought up in Ladies Bible Study. But I wasn't prepared for the journey into my past. Like most of you, there are things from my childhood and adolescence that I wish I could just delete or rewrite. Even so, God was still there watching and waiting for me to turn to Him.
As I recalled memories, I began to see them from a different perspective. I felt like I was a little girl sitting on my Father's lap looking at pictures from my past. He listened to my telling of the story, then shared His perspective. Often I said "this hurt" and He'd say, "Give it to Me" I would say, "They......" He' d say, "Forgive." Many tears and hours later, I felt so rejuvenated and wrapped up in God's love. (My friend who was watching the boys said I was just glowing. And I felt it.)
As I left to go pick up the kids, I thought about dates my husband and I had and how now I felt very similar inside. Like I was very much in love. Right before I got in my vehicle, I felt God speak to my heart. "Where's my kiss?" Haven't we all heard dates are suppose to end with a kiss. Now I once challenged God that He doesn't give hugs and He set me straight. So I was very apprehensive about this. I leaned against the door and looked down at my toes like a shy school girl. Psalms says God is a lifter of my head so I lifted up my head to heaven and opened my eyes. The sky that night took my breath away; stars glittered like diamonds from horizon to horizon. And I felt a tingling all the way down to my toes, knowing the Creator of all that still has time for little me. Did I feel a kiss on my lips like my husband would have done? No, but God is teaching me little by little how things of the spirit are not the same as the physical. But physical things show us much about spiritual things. And within my spirit I felt the passion of a Savior who know everything about me and still loves me anyway.

SPRING!!

We are so excited spring is here!! Though today is cooler and cloudy, we know that the long winter is over and new life is sprouting up slowly around us. Since Jim died, winters have seemed hard and long. Emotionally and precipitation wise.



But we take a deep breath and sigh and smile.......spring is here. Resurrection Sunday is just around the corner and it reminds us that new life is just around the corner too. One of the many signs of spring is the butterfly and we reflect back on the Bible that tells us there is an earthly body and a celestial body. We know that Daddy is soaring now and he is out of sight. But someday, maybe soon, Jesus is coming back. And we shall see him again and we shall finally see face to face the One who died so we could have the choice to choose life. New life................

Those words are like sunshine to my soul...................................................

In 1998, my life changed and I recieved new life. The boys love stories, true stories about me and their daddy. And in telling them the truth about our ungodly pasts, I am reminded of how much the Lord has saved me from. And I am ever glad that He is still working on me. Because in the end it wasn't just those sins, it wasn't just from hell, it wasn't even just from separation from Himself that Christ Jesus saved me................it was from myself. We hear it often in the world to promote self, look out for self, take time for self. It was all that self talk that got me into trouble from the beginning. The Bible talks of self dying on the cross and living in Christ. It is when we deny our self and focus on Christ that things fall into place and new life springs up in us. A new life in Christ. It is my prayer that all who browse this blog take away this one thing. It is Christ Jesus that brings new life to everything. (I challenge all of you to read The Greatest Decision You Will Ever Make on the side of this blog)