Over two months ago, our yard light stopped working. I figured the bulb was burnt out and need replaced. Not fun when it is twenty plus feet in the air. Needless to say, in my busy life I just adapted to it and planned to purchase a ladder and get a helper sometime before Fall.
It was a blessing in some ways to come home and have no yard light taking away the awesome wonder of twinkling stars overhead or beautiful fireflies glowing wondrously across the yard. Yet when crime has seemed to increase around here recently, the light was a nice comfort to have.
Well, last night we had a thunderstorm with torrential rain and rumbling thunder. Snurr was already fast asleep. But I let the older boys stay up knowing it was futil to try to put them to bed when the storm was raging. They were quietly doing a craft in the diningroom when suddenly Snipp shouted, "Mom, the yard light is working!!!"
Sure enough, it was shining brightly like a lighthouse in a tempest sea. We just stood in awe and said, "That is an act of God!" My brain tried to rationalize it in my mind; yet I finally gave up and thought "Just take it as it is-an act of God"
I felt like I was an Israelite staring at the Red Sea dividing. Even after the boys were soundly asleep I looked to see if it was still shining. Of course, it was:) And I just stood speechless communing with God without words.
God is good. So good. I am humbled by His watch care over us.
The verse "The Lord is my Light" seems so more real now:)
P.S. I was very downhearted the following night when it didn't light up. The darkness seemed to be taunting God and my faith. Once more a couple months later it came on one night. Strange! But I believe God is Sovereign and He had it come on those nights for a purpose I may never know.
FALL UPDATE: A friend of my husband's who wishes to remain anonomous came by today and fixed the yard light! It took just 20 minutes and he had it all done. What a blessing to us!!! It seems strange to have the yard so lit up now. But I feel safer too, especially as it gets dark so much sooner now. The boys love it too for now they not only feel safer but they can also play outside after dark:) God is so good!! And to friends like this we say "We give thanks to God and the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, praying always for you," Colossians 1:3
July 15, 2009
July 07, 2009
Going in Reverse
On a recent trip, we had the adventure of reverse stop working in our SUV. It was rather difficult to back out of our parking spot. With God's Divine help and wisdom, we worked together and pushed it out enough so we could drive out. We finally got it to the shop after a couple days of creative parking/driving. I never realized how often I use reverse.
And all this got me thinking.........I wish my reverse would stop working in my spiritual life. We have all been there when we stop zooming toward God, pass through neutral and start to back away from God. We see the signs in others around us, yet how often have we slipped into neutral without realizing it, and are headed for reverse?
I made this statement to the boys today "There should be no reverse in a Christian's life." We should be zealously zooming toward Him like a Nascar driver.
And all this got me thinking.........I wish my reverse would stop working in my spiritual life. We have all been there when we stop zooming toward God, pass through neutral and start to back away from God. We see the signs in others around us, yet how often have we slipped into neutral without realizing it, and are headed for reverse?
I made this statement to the boys today "There should be no reverse in a Christian's life." We should be zealously zooming toward Him like a Nascar driver.
June 26, 2009
Our Great Teacher
I have started again to read the proverb that corresponds with the day of the month. On the 24th, I read Proverbs 24:3 "Through wisdom is a house builded; and by understanding it is established." Years ago I had read this verse and the one following it and shared them with Jim. We then later decided to have them used in our wedding.
That will be ten years ago this fall, and sometimes I feel like a girl staring through a window watching and wondering about the family I see within. I reread this verse again and again. So often I don't feel wise and I feel that I don't understand much at all. Somedays I feel it is all I can do to keep this family from crumbling to the ground.
Jesus is such a Great Teacher. The following day I was reading in Job. And chapter 28, verse 28 was a lightbulb for me: "And unto man he said, Behold, the fear of the LORD, that is wisdom; and to depart from evil is understanding"
Okay, okay........ so if I use this as a definition for the verse in Proverbs then----- I am taught that through the fear of the LORD is a house (or family) builded; and by departing from evil it is established. Jim had a deep understanding of this. And when I followed his leadership this is how our family was built and established.
This is also the practical plan to keep following. "...fear the LORD and depart from evil" Proverbs 3:7b The same words we taught our children to say and think when the lightning flashes and the thunder rumbles. "Fear the LORD and depart from evil."
That will be ten years ago this fall, and sometimes I feel like a girl staring through a window watching and wondering about the family I see within. I reread this verse again and again. So often I don't feel wise and I feel that I don't understand much at all. Somedays I feel it is all I can do to keep this family from crumbling to the ground.
Jesus is such a Great Teacher. The following day I was reading in Job. And chapter 28, verse 28 was a lightbulb for me: "And unto man he said, Behold, the fear of the LORD, that is wisdom; and to depart from evil is understanding"
Okay, okay........ so if I use this as a definition for the verse in Proverbs then----- I am taught that through the fear of the LORD is a house (or family) builded; and by departing from evil it is established. Jim had a deep understanding of this. And when I followed his leadership this is how our family was built and established.
This is also the practical plan to keep following. "...fear the LORD and depart from evil" Proverbs 3:7b The same words we taught our children to say and think when the lightning flashes and the thunder rumbles. "Fear the LORD and depart from evil."
And the tide comes in.......
Sharing memories always has a flip side. As Father's Day came to a close, and the boys were settling down to sleep, Snapp says to me, "I wish I could have given Daddy my bookmark." And I knew the tide was coming in. The next morning a grief wave hit us hard. I couldn't stop the tears and my heart was just breaking for my little ones. As they got out their Daddy journals to draw in, I text several praying sisters. My heart wanted to call someone, but I knew I wouldn't be able the talk through the tears. So I used technology to ask for prayer. And as I held my son and we talked about his picture, my phone rang. One text came as a response, then came another and another. And I wept some more knowing my boys and I were being lifted up in prayer by loved ones at that very moment. More texts came in and as I read their messages I felt the loving arms of my Heavenly Father being wrapping around me, hugging me close: "love you, but Jesus loves you more" "..understand completely" "call anytime" "XO XO" "I will be praying for you" "I know how hard it is with a teen I can't imagine..my prayers are with you" New tears fell as I curled up spiritually in the Comforter's arms. And I could just rest in the prayers of my sisters and know it was going to be okay. I thank God for my praying sisters.
June 21, 2009
Father's Day
This Father's Day seemed to creep up on us this year. One of my sons had already been deep in a grief wave, and I had been prayerfully, tenderly coaching him through it. I wasn't sure what to expect on this 4th Father's Day without Daddy. I let them sleep in and met with the LORD and read my Bible. Then I got ready for the day uninterrupted, a very nice gift from GOD. The boys got up and we did our usual routine of reading their Bibles then having breakfast. As we ate, Snapp shared how he had a dream about ice fishing. Then Snurr spoke up.
"Mama, I gots to tell you sumpton.....GOD loves me.........and.........Daddy loves me....................... And Daddy kissed me.........."
My heart just melted and I didn't know what to say. Tears threatened to spill out of my eyes. This wasn't a memory for him to remember; Snurr was still in my womb when his daddy went to heaven. I don't know how I responded. I just know how I felt. This wasn't little boy chatter. This was another gift from GOD. "See his hole isn't as big as you think. I got it covered:) I keep my promises."
After this jewel, we continued on our morning routine. On the way to church, Snapp asked for me to tell him a story as he often does. I pondered whether to share one of Jim or not. Then I felt the LORD prompting me to share about memories of my dad when I was a little girl. So I shared how he held me during the Christmas eve candlelight service, and took out my slivers, and made us scramble eggs with cheese on top, and wrapped me up in his beach towel the time I was shivering so much my teeth chattered, and other things. Sharing became a theme for the day.
Our pastor's sermon was on "Things My Dad Taught Me" and the Jr. Church leader for Snipp felt God directing him to share memories of his own dad then open it up to the kids. For almost half an hour, they shared. At one point, Snipp raised his hand and said my dad used to work at __________ _________. The teacher was then able to share how Jim came to his house one time and helped him repair his van. Oh, the warmth inside one's heart when someone has a memory of your loved one. Mean while, Snapp and Snurr were in their Jr. Church making bookmarks. As I shared in my other post, Snapp's said "I love you, Daddy!" on it. It was covered in scotch tape because he had told his teacher he wanted to put it out at his daddy's grave.
After church, Snipp shared the story of Daddy helping his teacher with his van and Snapp showed me his bookmark. (Snurr had had too much fun with cutting so his bookmark didn't survive.) I followed the LORD's promptings and ordered cheese sticks from Pizza Hut; this was a Sunday tradition of Jim's. Then I took the boys to a quiet place where Jim would go sometimes on his lunch break to eat and read his Bible. We ate our cheese sticks, then we went to a store to get hats. Each year for Father's Day, we would get Jim a new straw hat. A vivid memory to Snipp is Daddy riding the lawn mower wearing his straw hat. Snipp was really excited about getting a straw hat his size because just this year, I have allowed him to drive the lawnmower with supervision. As we checked out the hats, I snuck a KitKat to the checkout lady. Then we sat outside the store and shared our chocolate treat. I also shared how Daddy would sneak home icecream and also leave chocolate "Mommy"treats for me to find in the cupboards as I put away the dishes.
On our way home, we dropped of a gift I had gotten for my own father. Ever since Jim's death, it has been a struggle at times to honor my own dad on a day we feel such hole in our lives. I am so thankful to have my dad still here and a part of our lives. Yet I feel almost guilty, because I got something my boys don't have.
Another memory of Daddy was watching Monday night football with Uncle Ben. As Snipp got older and the commercials got worse, we watched it less and less. But it was a tradition for me to cook scrambled eggs and ham for the game with big glasses of orange juice. So for lunch, we had just that. Then we watched the Daddy Movie. It is one of Jim reading a story to the camera for Snipp when he was around two. It is just refreshing to see Jim moving and joking around. We read the story with him. Then we watched a DVD of our home video of the 2000 Mopar Nationals. The boys love watching the burnout contest!!
After naps, we drove to the roadside memorial to hang Snapp's bookmark. We had wrapped it in sealer tape to help it against the wind and rain. Snapp and I waded through the high grass and he placed it over the cross. The ribbon made it hang just right. He was very satisfied to have it reach the destination he had wanted it to go.
Then we headed to church for the evening service. We miss Jim extrememly!!!!!!! But it felt so good to celebrate him and the things he did.
"Mama, I gots to tell you sumpton.....GOD loves me.........and.........Daddy loves me....................... And Daddy kissed me.........."
My heart just melted and I didn't know what to say. Tears threatened to spill out of my eyes. This wasn't a memory for him to remember; Snurr was still in my womb when his daddy went to heaven. I don't know how I responded. I just know how I felt. This wasn't little boy chatter. This was another gift from GOD. "See his hole isn't as big as you think. I got it covered:) I keep my promises."
After this jewel, we continued on our morning routine. On the way to church, Snapp asked for me to tell him a story as he often does. I pondered whether to share one of Jim or not. Then I felt the LORD prompting me to share about memories of my dad when I was a little girl. So I shared how he held me during the Christmas eve candlelight service, and took out my slivers, and made us scramble eggs with cheese on top, and wrapped me up in his beach towel the time I was shivering so much my teeth chattered, and other things. Sharing became a theme for the day.
Our pastor's sermon was on "Things My Dad Taught Me" and the Jr. Church leader for Snipp felt God directing him to share memories of his own dad then open it up to the kids. For almost half an hour, they shared. At one point, Snipp raised his hand and said my dad used to work at __________ _________. The teacher was then able to share how Jim came to his house one time and helped him repair his van. Oh, the warmth inside one's heart when someone has a memory of your loved one. Mean while, Snapp and Snurr were in their Jr. Church making bookmarks. As I shared in my other post, Snapp's said "I love you, Daddy!" on it. It was covered in scotch tape because he had told his teacher he wanted to put it out at his daddy's grave.
After church, Snipp shared the story of Daddy helping his teacher with his van and Snapp showed me his bookmark. (Snurr had had too much fun with cutting so his bookmark didn't survive.) I followed the LORD's promptings and ordered cheese sticks from Pizza Hut; this was a Sunday tradition of Jim's. Then I took the boys to a quiet place where Jim would go sometimes on his lunch break to eat and read his Bible. We ate our cheese sticks, then we went to a store to get hats. Each year for Father's Day, we would get Jim a new straw hat. A vivid memory to Snipp is Daddy riding the lawn mower wearing his straw hat. Snipp was really excited about getting a straw hat his size because just this year, I have allowed him to drive the lawnmower with supervision. As we checked out the hats, I snuck a KitKat to the checkout lady. Then we sat outside the store and shared our chocolate treat. I also shared how Daddy would sneak home icecream and also leave chocolate "Mommy"treats for me to find in the cupboards as I put away the dishes.
On our way home, we dropped of a gift I had gotten for my own father. Ever since Jim's death, it has been a struggle at times to honor my own dad on a day we feel such hole in our lives. I am so thankful to have my dad still here and a part of our lives. Yet I feel almost guilty, because I got something my boys don't have.
Another memory of Daddy was watching Monday night football with Uncle Ben. As Snipp got older and the commercials got worse, we watched it less and less. But it was a tradition for me to cook scrambled eggs and ham for the game with big glasses of orange juice. So for lunch, we had just that. Then we watched the Daddy Movie. It is one of Jim reading a story to the camera for Snipp when he was around two. It is just refreshing to see Jim moving and joking around. We read the story with him. Then we watched a DVD of our home video of the 2000 Mopar Nationals. The boys love watching the burnout contest!!
After naps, we drove to the roadside memorial to hang Snapp's bookmark. We had wrapped it in sealer tape to help it against the wind and rain. Snapp and I waded through the high grass and he placed it over the cross. The ribbon made it hang just right. He was very satisfied to have it reach the destination he had wanted it to go.
Then we headed to church for the evening service. We miss Jim extrememly!!!!!!! But it felt so good to celebrate him and the things he did.
Sealer Tape
My son made a bookmark during Jr. Church today. "I love you, Daddy!" it says with two stars and a sideways moon that Snapp says is Daddy's face smiling. On the way home, he tells me he wants to hang it by its ribbon on the roadside memorial. So I needed to find sealer tape. We hoped to cover the scotch tape already on it with sealer tape to really help it against the elements.
I will be the first to admit that I don't have a place for everything and everything isn't in its place either. And I hadn't seen the sealer tape in my desk for awhile. So as I walked into our pantry after lunch, I whispered a prayer, "LORD, I need......" And before I could finish saying "sealer tape." THERE IT WAS!! At eye level, the roll was sitting on the pantry shelf:)
So once again God reminded me that HE knows exactly what I need before I even pray. And that HE has the answer before I even ask:) GOD is so good!!!!!!
I will be the first to admit that I don't have a place for everything and everything isn't in its place either. And I hadn't seen the sealer tape in my desk for awhile. So as I walked into our pantry after lunch, I whispered a prayer, "LORD, I need......" And before I could finish saying "sealer tape." THERE IT WAS!! At eye level, the roll was sitting on the pantry shelf:)
So once again God reminded me that HE knows exactly what I need before I even pray. And that HE has the answer before I even ask:) GOD is so good!!!!!!
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