Early Flight

(I just can't say "it"; that seems so impersonal. So until I am told a name to validate this precious life, just cuz' I am so used to boy babies I will refer to this little one as a him.)

Monday my little nephew took an early flight to Heaven. Grief waves roll in and out, emotions tumble around, as do my thoughts. Once again I cry out to God. And once again His only answer is His embrace.

My thoughts ramble:

I ache for his momma..........

I feel frustrated as she is too far away to give hugs of understanding.........

I remember my own miscarriage.......

Death once again brings separation..........

I miss sharing and praying with my husband on things like this............

I am jealous of this little one being greeted by my husband and son, his big sister and other relatives..............

I am thankful of Heaven and the promises of God.......

I am jealous of this little one being embraced face to face by the Lord............

I am praising the Lord that this child never rebelled against Him...............

Tears flow as I prayerfully take on the burdens of my sister.................

I look at my own blessings and remember their births......................

I stroke their cheeks and remember to be forgiving and more gracious.................

I watch them sleep and long to feel my husband by my side loving them as much as I do.........

I listen silently and hear how God's grace is carrying another wounded soldier of the Lord to endure through the pain.........

I only knew of this precious life for a short time, yet I miss him just the same...............

I grieve the nephew I won't know till heaven.......................

I will think of him often around my birthday as I had hoped it would be his birthday too.....

I explain to the boys that their baby cousin is in Heaven..................

I try to answer their questions.......................

I ask God my own......................

I long for Heaven with no more death and separation..................

I long for the Lord to tarry for others to accept His mercy and grace.........................

Once again tears come at unpredictable times.................

Once again God reminds me He cares and He is with me.

P. S. I recently heard Jon Bishop speak and his words echo in my head. "God is always right and God is always good."