June 10, 2013

Psalm 15

After the last late night post, I want to say GOD was faithful. Today is a gift full of possibilities and I feel stronger.  The peace still reigns in my heart.

Psalms 15
   LORD, who shall abide in thy tabernacle? who shall dwell in thy holy hill?
He that walketh uprightly, and worketh righteousness, and speaketh the truth in his heart.
He that backbiteth not with his tongue, nor doeth evil to his neighbour, nor taketh up a reproach against his neighbour.In whose eyes a vile person is contemned; but he honoureth them that fear the LORD. He that sweareth to his own hurt, and changeth not. He that putteth not out his money to usury, nor taketh reward against the innocent. He that doeth these things shall never be moved.

I read this Psalm this morning.  And I like to try to personalize what I read.

You could say it is telling me how to be godly, how to be a Christlike.
  • Walk uprightly
  • Work righteousness
  • Speak the truth in my heart
  • Don't backbite with my tongue
  • Don't do evil to my neighbor
  • Don't take up reproach against my neighbor
  • Contemn a vile person
  • Honor those the fear the LORD
  • Swear to my own hurt and change not
  • Don't put my money to usury
  • Dont take a reward against the innocent
  • Do these and I shall not be moved.
Now that is the list.  But what is the meaning of them?
( Quotes are from av1611.com KJV Bible Dictionary online)

Walk Uprightly: Walk is an action.  So it is doing things "Honestly; with strict observance of morally correct behavior or thinking."  Simply put Do what is right!

Work Righteousness: "Purity of heart.... and conformity of heart and life to the divine law. Righteousness, as used in Scripture and theology, in which it is chiefly used, is nearly equivalent to holiness.. It includes all we call justice, honesty and virtue."  Simply put Put forth effort to be just and virtuous.

Speak the truth in my heart: No dictionary needed here. Tell myself the truth.  So often we believe and tell ourselves lies.  Get rid of stinkin'thinkin'! Let the enemy have no place in my mind and emotions.

Don't backbite with my tongue: "To slander, reproach, or speak evil of the absent" Simply put, talking about someone in a negative way when they aren't there to defend themselves.

Don't do evil to my neighbor: This one is simply stated. Don't do wrong to others.

Don't take up reproach against my neighbor: In other words, don't speak negatively about them,  being accusitory, instead do my part to get along with my neighbors.  I am to be a witness to them.

Contemn a vile person: Witness against their wickness.  Call sin SIN.  They are usually unrepentant so separate yourself from them.

Honor those that fear the LORD: Fearing the LORD is more than a reverance for God, it literally means fearing HIM, realizing HE is GOD and is in charge and we are not.

Swear to my own hurt and change not:  Keep my word even when it is difficult and hurts; don't change from what I promised.

Don't put my money to usury:  I had to do some digging on usury. Basically that is loans with  interests, usually high interest.  So don't loan money and try to make money. My Pastor recommends not loaning any money I wouldn't be comfortable giving as a gift.  On the flip side, don't borrow money that requires I pay alot of interest.  I am thankful my parents taught me not to spend what I didn't have.

Don't take a reward against the innocent:  This is fairly self explainatory.

Do these and I shall not be moved.  There is strength in doing life God's way.

This was a great Psalm to study.  I am looking forward to sharing this with the boys.
Now to work on being a doer of the word.

It's Back.

Ever feel like your grief is choking you? Some people say they get lumps in their throats. That isn't what it feel like to me. It feels like it hurts to talk or breathe. Gives a real understanding to the phrase "choked up". Well, tonight it hit.

Maybe because Father's Day is coming soon.
Maybe because my oldest has entered youth group and that signals that the rough waters of teenager are coming fast.
Maybe because my youngest was crying tonight because he hurts not having any memory of his dad, not ever having met him.
Maybe because my middleman looks at me a certain way and he looks so much like his dad.
Maybe because being a widow, a singlemom, and a homeschool mom is just a lot somedays.
I don't know......there are countless little things that can add up to a grief wave or just one thing in particular.

Either way, tonight the floodgates broke, tears ran like rivers once again, and the old sensation of wanting to cry out and feeling choked instead come. I tried to voice it all to God, much of it wouldn't come out.

But as always after the tears, the comfort comes.
A peace that passes all understanding.
A reassurance of God's presence and tender care.
And as I remembered all the promises and how God has kept each one,
even more peace surrounds me.
So once again, I ask for Him to hold me all night long.
Till morning comes with new mercy and hope.
And I know HE will because He held me up through so much already.

I just stand amazed sometimes about how deep my grief can be,
even almost 7 and a half years later. It is a strong reminder to be sensative to others grieving.
We just don't know what they maybe dealing with, no matter how long their loved one has been gone.

I didn't go back and repolish this post.
I've decided to leave it, as raw and open as it is.
And with this final thought: God is faithful, no matter how much it hurts!