December 30, 2008

My Word for 2009

I replied on a forum recently about what word I would be concentrating on for 2009. Many women had chosen great words: alert, devotion, finish, joy, restoration, trust, shine, etc. After much thought I chose the word: FOCUSED

To be more focused on my God, instead of my circumstances.

To be more focused on the heart of my children, instead of their actions.

To be more focused on my goals for each day, instead of what I can't possibly get done.

To be more focused on praying about things, instead of just taking action on things.

To be more focused on God's truth, so I can detect satan's lies, instead of just accepting things as truth.

To be more focused on the life after this one, instead of only on this life.

To be more FOCUSED

So how about you? What word would you chose for 2009?

Holding My Hand

Another rollover from Words of Life To Me:
Isaiah 41:13 "For the LORD thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee."

What a comforting thought! God holding my hand. I am reminded of being a little girl crossing the street or walking into the big school on the first day of classes. And I am reminded again that I have been adopted into His family and I am His little girl. And my Almighty Father is holding my hand and telling me not to be afraid, He's going to help me. Oh the strength in a Father's love and presence.

December 24, 2008

Taming Dinosaurs

Last week Snipp had a hard time getting to sleep. So I allowed him to come camp out on my floor and we had a good mother/son chat. One thing he shared was "Mom, I feel like I am a lamb and Christmas is a dinosaur chasing me." I so understood what he felt. There are certain times of the year when grief seems more overwhelming than others. I had been on the verge of tears quite often through out the passed few days. I kept trying to stay focused on Christ and press onward, but I felt the joy just being sucked right out of me.

As I often do when I feel overwhelmed, I called on my Praying Sisters to help me carry the burden. Then my preacher preached about how not to lose Jesus during the holidays. One of the things mentioned was keeping traditions.

Traditions are a blessing. On our first Christmas after we were married, we had no money for presents. So I patched my husband's favorite coat and we rejoice when God unthawed our well pump. That year I started a tradition. I wrote down blessings the Lord had given us through the year and shoved the slips of paper down into our stockings. And each year since then we have focused on our blessing stockings. Till Jim died. Hanging his stocking was just impossible and I didn't want to hang ours without his. So that year, I took a little cedar box and put in pictures or things to symbolize blessings/treasures God had given us. A picture of our van and house, a gold cross, a watch, a bible, etc. Then last year I found the answer. Treasure Boxes!!!! So instead of stockings, we have treasure boxes that each year has a list of treasures/gifts from Jesus. What a joy and blessing to read last years treasures as I prepared the boxes for today. We also had written down what we were going to give Jesus for Christmas. Some things given in the past were Daddy's favorite blanket, smiles, 1/2 with Him each am and pm.

Another tradition we added was one Daddy started the last Christmas he was with us. In my stocking was a clue to find my gift. It ended up being in the dryer!!! Anyway, so also in each treasure box now is a clue for example: Go to a book that has a picture of David praying like Daddy did. Then there is another clue. For example:Go to something that holds "fire sticks". And then the last clue leads them to some presents hidden. For example: Now, Look behind something big, green, and comfy Dad liked to read in. As we all know, the figuring out the clues and the hunt is about as much fun as getting the gifts. It is also a reminder that treasures have to be sought after. Like the wisemen did to find Jesus. And that we too need to seek Christ to find Him.

Another thing we decided as a family to go sing to some people who we knew were hurting. We were a little nervous at first, but young children singing the way they can was cute and hilarious as well. The smiles on their faces was just priceless.

It is amazing to me how keeping these simple traditions and reaching out to others tamed that dinosaur! I fully expect more grief waves to come, but at least Christmas isn't something hunting us down anymore.

Merry Christmas everyone!! And may Christ be the focus of your Christmas!

November 21, 2008

I Lift Up Mine Eyes Unto the Hills......

My uncle died suddenly last month and I found myself and the boys traveling halfway across the country for his funeral and to deal with family matters. Everything within me wanted to stay home. Yet I knew I needed to go. Helping my mom prepare for the funeral, dealing with homesick, griefstriken children, and dealing with my own emotions as well as just matters of life left me feeling more alone than I have felt in a long time. And I found myself looking to the landscape often and recalled Psalm 121 "I lift up mine eyes unto the hills from whence cometh my help. My help cometh from the LORD which made heaven and earth." I understood in a new way why my grandmother loved this Psalm. And I pondered what things she faced that made her lift up her eyes to these same hills. There is a great comfort of knowing the same God she turned to was the same God I was looking to as well. And knowing He is the Maker of heaven and earth gave me acceptance that I was were I was for a purpose. I am home now and am I ever so glad to be home. Yet I brought with me a picture of my Grandmother's hills to remind me of where my help cometh from.

Be a Greeter

On our trip the Lord lead us to a wonderful church. It was a beautiful church with very kind people. My children felt comfortable with their teachers and I felt so refreshed and challenged by the preaching of God's Word. God taught me much during the 5 times we attended there. One young man really impressed me. I am terrible with ages but he had to be over 16, but definately under 25. Anyway, this young man would shake hands with every single person before the service would start. He looked each person in the eye and smile a million dollar smile. He was definatley glad to be in the house of the Lord and genuinely made you feel that he was glad you were there too. And I realized the importance of greeting others. Sometimes we get so busy with children or with our agendas, that we fail in really seeing others. And I am not saying this just about church. I think of being in shopping lines and how people rarely speak to each other even though they are waiting in line for several minutes sometimes. Even at the gas pump or restraunts. Then again maybe this is just something I struggle with. I know it is something on the edge of my comfort zone and even beyond it most days. God brought it to my attention as an area I need to grow in. So all this rambling is to say: Be a greeter. And give someone a smile today.

November 20, 2008

God's SUV

For months we have been searching for a newer vehicle. Our almost 20yr old van had been very good to us; but she was getting old and winter is hard on her. So I researched online different vehicles from makers I liked and sought after a couple styles of SUV. Now I had been given good cousel to ask God for a budget and I did just that. Now I felt He gave me a low number considering the price of vehicles today. But experience has taught me not to go against something I feel God said. So we searched and prayed and searched and prayed.

Then about 2 months ago, I spied a SUV that was like I wanted. Internet search showed the price was over our budget. But way down on the list was a SUV that I hadn't never considered before. Something about it intreaged me. So I did a little research then finally took my father-in-law and looked it over thouroughly and test drove it. Got back and the salesman offered to drop the price almost $1000. It was already in my price range, but I had promised the Lord I would pray about it over night. I told the salesman this and said I would contact him in the morning. On the drive home, I asked my father-in-law his thoughts. He said to offer him another $500 less. By email I contacted another brother-in-Christ and never shared what my fil had said. The next morning he gave me the same number my father-in-law had. So God had confirm to me the offer I was to make. I would find out soon if this was the SUV God had for us.

When I called, the salesman was not sure he could drop it that low. But he would check and see what he had into it and call me back. As I waited, I prayed for just God's will to be done. When he called back, he counter offered $200 higher. Now, I know it was still within my price range, but I told him no, I couldn't do it and shared why. That I felt God had confirmed this number to me and if I went against Him and got the SUV and something happened then it would have been due to my disobedience. But if I stuck with what He said and something still happened I will know it was out of His all knowing wisdom (maybe to keep us out of an accident). So I declined to move from my price and prepared to tell the salesman a polite goodbye. When he said, "When can you come get it?" "For my price or yours?" I said. Yours, was the answer. I found out later he only made $51 on the deal. Now since I bought it and saved on our budget I got new tires and such.

We ended up taking a trip halfway across the country in it and the only trouble we had was with the wiper bracket to the wiper arms. And yes it did rain. But my little boys prayed and God kept the rain at bay, sometimes just a few miles behind us till we reach our destination. It rain and even snowed while we were there, but again we found out how God's timing was best. On the return trip, it rained only at evening when we needed to stop pushing for the day anyway. It would rain all night while we slept in the hotel, but in the morning it would stop. This whole experience has taught our whole family much about God's ways and about prayer. (I asked God for us to be able to get it fixed easily on our trip; my boys instead asked for no rain. We did get it fixed easily once we got home; but God wanted to teach us more about Him first.)

September 26, 2008

Be a Reflector

As we were driving home after dark the other night, my eyes became keenly aware of the many reflectors along the road side. On bikes, mailboxes, trailers, and marking driveways, bridges, signs, roadside poles. They just continually "lit up" our journey home. And the Lord reminded me I am to be a reflector. A reflector has no power to give light, it simply reflects it. In the day time, they don't catch our eye. But in the darkness they seem to shine. I am a born-again believer in Christ Jesus. And it is my duty to reflect Him, the Light, in this world of darkness. To reflect His love, His truth, His mercy, His forgiveness, His grace, His holiness. That is an awesome and overwhelming responsibility. Yet the Light doesn't come from me, I just reflect it. Yet no Light, means no reflection. How often do I try to do something yet fail, because I haven't turned to the Lord to do it? Him through me......I can do all things through Christ who strengtheneth me.........Through Him, I can. Through Him I can believe in the impossible. But........if I am not turned toward Christ Jesus, there is no reflection, just empty works that may seem to be good but fall so far short of their potential.

And another deep thought was this, the reflectors where there all the way home.

I am a reflector not just for Christ to the lost world, but to other believers. At my husband's funeral, many spoke words that revealed he had been a reflector to them in this world. Who have encouraged me on this journey of life? And who is farther down the road who will encourage me home? Am I being an encourager to my brethren? And not just to the weary in well doing, but also those that have stumbled and turned their back on God? And I think about when I whine about tough times that surround me with thick blackness, isn't that when a reflector reflects the Light best?

Ten years ago I was saved and I humbly say, Lord, I have much to learn.

September 10, 2008

Greatly Beloved

Sometimes when I read my Bible, certain things really grab me and a truth just hits me. Other times something intrigues me and I just have to dig into it more and find the "treasure." This week I was intrigued. "O man, greatly beloved" Who are these words spoken to and by whom?

David? Jesus? Moses? Paul? Actually these loving words were spoken to Daniel by an angel of God. What child doesn't like being told he is loved. We all long for that outpouring of affection from our parents, spouse, family and friends. And ultimately from our Creator. But to be greatly loved.......this speaks of being held especially dear. So I began to seek why Daniel was so greatly loved. What qualities did he have that endeared him so much to God? I began to dig and I will be meditating on what God showed me for awhile:

Separated- he was set apart when he was taken captive because of being without blemish; As a born-again believer, aren't I called to be set apart from this world? To be unspotted?

Knowledgeable-smart kid before taken captive about science, stars, and such; Am I seeking to grow in knowledge?

Refused to defile himself-by eating the king's meat and drinking his wine; Am I willing to deny myself the "pleasures" of this world and seek contentment in what God says is best for me?

Teachable-Daniel was a great student who excelled, and greatly impressed the king; Am I remaining teachable to the Spirit of Truth? And making changes in my life, even when it stretches me way outside my comfort zone?

Retained his true identity-his name is changed, but through out scripture he is still known as Daniel; Do I remember who I am in Christ?

Gave God the glory- said God, not himself, gave interpretation of dreams; Do I take credit for God's handiwork or do I give credit to the Master?

Unashamed- Daniel never hides that he is a man of God, he doesn't "sugar coat" the dream interpretations, his enemies well knew Daniel's prayer warrior habits; Do I tried to hide who my Heavenly Father is or that I am His child?

Uncompromising- not one sip or bite, he did not skipped prayer to save his life; Am I compromising my convictions or am I willing to lose my life for them?

Believed in his God-this is the scriptural reason for his protection in lion's den! Am I doubtiing or believing in my God?

Protected-because of his faith in God; Am I fearful of what man can do to me or feel protected no matter what the outcome may be?

Feared the Lord-he trembled at visions, fell on face, couldn't speak; Do I tremble at the thought of standing before Him someday soon?

Understood spiritual warfare-The angel expected Daniel to understand the reason for his delay and that he had to return to battle, Daniel doesn't seem surprised by this info; Do I realize that the spiritual world is more real than the world my eyes see?

Man of prayer and fasting-Daniel fasted and sought God diligently when problems arose; Do I seek the Lord diligently for myself or others I know? Am I coupling my intense prayers with fasting?

Faithful-never hear that there was a bad ending to Daniel's life; Am I on guard against sin so that my life witness isn't tarnished by my sins later in life?

September 03, 2008

Remembered Again

A week ago my sons and I were eating out at DQ. We got there before the evening rush and sat in the back. As we ate more and more people began filling in. I knew none of them and wondered how many of them knew my husband. Then I saw an adorable little girl in a beautiful flowered dress bounce through the crowd holding on to her daddy's hand. I smiled and in my mind said, Cherish your daddy, little one. Much later, that same little girl came bouncing up to us with her daddy. And it turned out her daddy was an old classmate of mine. He asked how we were doing and I usually dread answering this. It is a loaded question that most people don't really want to know the answer to. But as I searched his face for how best to answer memories flashed through my mind. Just days after my husband's death his wife and him sent us a card and I learned that they had recently had a precious baby die. This brother-in-Christ knew my companion Grief and so I answered with a heavy sigh and held back tears that we were doing alright and that God was good. Nodding his head he replied, Yes He is. We chatted briefly, his little girl and my boys, then right before they left he handed me a $20 bill! I tried to give it back saying we didn't need it, but he wouldn't listen and told me to just thank God and keep remembering God is good. I fought to hold back the tears as we finished and headed out to the van. It wasn't so much my old classmate's actions that touched my heart so. It was the God I knew who prompted his heart that touched my heart so. God knew how I felt so forgotten. How I longed not to be the single parent balancing three boys in a restaurant. Once again, He was showing me.......I remember you. You see, we were gearing up to face the 3rd family reunion without my husband. And that just involves more emotions than words can explain. We didn't need the money, but my boys and I need a reminder that we were not alone. Jesus knows our hearts and cares so much about us. I don't think I will ever spend that $20, but I have tucked in somewhere were I will see it often as a reminder of God's love and watch care over us. "Can a woman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? yea, they may forget, yet will I not forget thee. Behold, I have graven thee upon the the palms of my hands....." Isaiah 49:15-16

August 23, 2008

Our School Principal

The Lord is a tough principal. We are a homeschooling family and as I tell the boys often, I am the teacher, but God is the principal. This year He took my original game plan and changed it all around. Had me pull away from somethings I was comfortable with and try some new things that are stretching me as a teacher. He has also revealled to me areas I needed to improve on. Talk about sitting in the Principal's office!! Then just this week, our third week of school, the Lord showed me why my son was loathing a subject. God's timing is always perfect and this time was no exception. My son was about to take a unit test and an end of the book test which he would have bombed due to him struggling with a couple of concepts. So I threw my teacher pride out the window and we took some steps backwards and are proceeding forward cautiously making extra sure that each lesson is cemented before proceeding to the next one. But the greatest result is the struggle between my son and me on this subject is gone. I understand now why he dreaded it and he is understanding that he was making it more complicated then it needed to be. Instead of butting heads, we are on the same team again. God is so good and I am learning to just trust more and more in His All-Seeing eyes.

When Thou Walkest By The Way......

The Bible in Deuteronomy 6:7 it says "And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. " Today we had a very teachable moment. Snipp and Snapp have been working hard at building forts and hide-outs in the grove close to our home. This involves much wacking down of weeds and careful planning which one to leave standing for cover. Today they made a new path and hide-out and after showing them to me, we headed to the house. Yet when we got to the porch, I refused to let them in. They were covered with burdocks and other "sticky" seeds from plants. We spent the next 20 minutes carefully plucking them off, one by one. The Lord prompted me that this was one of those moments. So we talked how the "stickies" were like sin and you got to find each one and diligently cast it away. Sometimes they seemed to get right back on you if you didn't throw them far enough away. In the process of cleaning them off, I ended up getting several "stickies" on myself!! So we chatted about other people's sin rubbing off on us or as they say "You can't run with a skunk and smell like a rose." These insightful little fellows then perceeded to explain to me that it was like just a little bit of dirt make water too dirty to eat. Oh, how I pray that their heart understands what their minds has begun to grasp.

July 26, 2008

God's Shovel

“God’s Shovel is Bigger Than Ours.” My husband often told me this when I seemed hesitant to give his hard earned money away to whatever backyard missions he had in mind at the time. We scrimped much and went without much and I selfishly wondered sometimes, “What about us?” I would have like to get something new for once. But the principle my husband taught me has stuck with me. Just days after his death I gave the money he had squirreled away for some backyard missions where he had wanted it to go. A part of me wanted to cling to that money now that my earthly provider was gone. Another part of me feared God in doing that. So more out of fear than obedience, I gave. Just two days later, I was given a check from a church I don’t even know for about twice the amount. Okay, okay. “God’s shovel is bigger that ours” echoed in my head. And since then I have felt like I am in the money recycling business. The Lord lays it on my heart to give to Person A. Person B feels led to give to me. I feel the Lord commanding me to give to Person C and Person D gives me a great savings on health care. And it isn’t just money. I feel led to send someone a card that the Lord knew they need right then. A different person orders ice cream for us then sneaks out the restaurant. This is how God works, at least in my life He does! By the way, I don’t give out of fear anymore. But out of loving obedience and wait in expectation for what He is going to do next:)

Fingerprints of Protection

This month has been very busy with 4th of July drama, two back to back vacations out of state, adjusting to being home, and preparing for the upcoming school year.

In the midst of all this, God has left His fingerprints all over us. I will share just two incidences:

(1) On one of our trips, we had traveled right into a storm. It was downpouring so much we pulled off on the side of the highway because we just couldn't see. Now mind you, we were in flat country, so we had high winds rocking our van, lighting and thunder crashing around us, and rain beating on the roof. Snipp, Snapp, and Snurr as well as I felt like the disciples in the boat. It was rather scary. So we huddled in prayer and within moments..........nope, the storm didn't calm, the wind didn't stop either. But we felt calm. The Lord blanketed us with peace within. After a wait, it let up enough we could travel on. Another lesson for the boys to learn to run to God and experience Him working in their lives.

(2) Several days after returning home, Snipp said one of our tires looked low. I let him be manly and add air. When he did, he discovered a lugnut was just a little loose. We tightened it up and I didn't give it another thought till the next afternoon. As I turned a corner when we were returning from some errands, I felt the driver side tire just feel funny. Please, Lord, just get us home. Again when we turned into the driveway, something was just not right. Once stopped, I hopped out to discover every lugnut on the driver's side front tire was loose!!! And not just a little loose, but loose enough I could see at least an inch of the threads. WOW!!! When I think of all the miles we covered at speeds of 65 plus mph and thought about the "what if's", I just trembled. Once again Christ in His mercy has answered our prayers for protection.

June 29, 2008

More on Tithing

My sons devotions made me aware of something I haven't thought about before.

We all think of 10% of our increase/income when we hear the word tithe. A set amount we give out of love and duty. But realistically doesn't God deserved at least 10% of our time?! I read of a widow who agreed to tithe a part of her life to just the Lord. Not looking for a mate or dating for 10 yrs. (her family members often lived to 100). Now that is a long time and a huge vow to keep!

But back to my sons' devotion book, there are 168 hours in a week. So a tithe would be 16.8 hours or basically 17 hours. Wow! Now an average would be 2.4 hours to the Lord a day! It sounds like a lot of time to give God. But if we sleep 7 hours that's 49 hours of sleep a week. This got my attention. I was sure I fell short of 17hrs a week and set out to add up the time I really did give to God. And wow, do I have a different perspective on how I spend my time now. I have been trying to teach my boys about tithing and they love to give 10% of their increase (aka kidz pay) Now I have the challenge and joy of teaching them to tithe their time. So I challenge you to add up your time you give to the Lord: church services, personal devotions, discipleship classes, bible reading with family, prayer times, visitation, etc. And see how you measure up. Malachi 3:8 Will a man rob God? Yet ye have robbed me. But ye say, Wherein have we robbed thee? In tithes and offerings.

June 23, 2008

Power of Prayer

Have you ever felt yourself being blanketed by peace and comfort, the heavy burdens of your heart being lightened and later learn of others praying for you? If you have never experienced this, I challenge you to share with others your burdens. Let your pride drop like muddy boots and let the prayers of others warm you.
Today was a tough day. And even the revelation of the post below this one didn't keep my head above today's grief wave. It hit hard and fast. I ran to my Heavenly Father and poured out my hurts and frustrations and disappointments in myself. Most often I feel His strength surrounding me and comforting me once I have wept like Hannah. But today that was not to be. I remained weary, weepy, and functioned on auto pilot. Experience has taught me that at times like these I need to call for reinforcements. I have several trusted prayer warriors who I turn to. And I did. As the day went on, I could feel the prayers surrounding me like a huge warm towel after a dunk in the frigid ocean. I felt the heaviness within gently be lifted. Towards evening, the Lord prompted a friend to call before she even got my message. That by itself touched my aching heart let alone the words of understanding and encouragement. A little later another friend called to set up a time for my boys to have Guy Time with her husband. She knew nothing of my difficult day or my conversation with the Lord about spending time just sitting at His feet. Now later this week the boys get a testosterone tune-up and I get a date with God. And I also had a contact from another about beginning a correspondence with a godly woman on this same journey. As I was able to look back on replies to my call for needing prayer, it was neat to look at the time various people responded. And how that corresponded with the hours I felt my heavy burden being lifted and lifted yet again. Just one of these would have been a reminder prayer is powerful. But all of them together just makes me stand amazed. So folks, don't let your pride hinder you from asking for prayer. Then prepare to be amazed. And on the flip side, know that your own prayers make a huge difference.

For Such a Time As This

You ever had one of those moments that you realize that the Lord has been weaving various elements into your life for the very purpose of the thing in front of you? I am a stong believer in Romans 8:28 "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose." And I can see how many things, including my husband's death and joining a church in another town, have shaped me to be exactly who I am today, where I am today, to be the tool in my Sovereign Lord's hand for the task at hand. And as strangely as it sounds, I even whispered a thank you for the death of my beloved so I could reach out in complete understand to another whose heart is bleed so for their loved one. And I can just see my honey smiling and singing, "Viewing here the works of God I sink in contemplation, Hearing now His blessed voice I see the way He planned"

A Shelter in the Time of Storm

June has been such a whirlwind month, and now it soon will be over. But not without a couple testimonies of God's touch on our lives. We had very bad weather much too often this month. And the path of it seemed to always go over our home. The first time we received calls from family and friends who know we are not TV watchers, and alerted us to the approaching severe weather. So we camped out in the basement and read Charlotte's Web. The next time we were away from home and felt we should stop at my in-law's to check the weather before heading home. Praise the Lord because if I had just gone home I would have had tornado producing clouds over our heads. Later that night we debated whether we should head home, but ended up staying with family. Once again, glad we did! Flash flooding had occurred and I wouldn't had seen all that I needed to see. Less than a week later, after a visit with my folks, I felt we were to head into town instead of home. I got a phone call shortly there after from my sister-in-law that another severe cell with rotation was headed toward the roads I would have been on if I was going home. I knew before that God protects. But now I know that I know that I KNOW GOD protects. And I am thankful I listened to His promptings. And I wonder how many "storms" I could have avoided if I had listened better in the past.

May 30, 2008

Clinging to the Promises

Father's Day is coming. It is billboarded all over the place. I love to honor dads though it also brings a sting with it as my post shares. We were sitting in the evening church service listening to the announcements the visiting preacher read from the bulletin. He reminded us of Father's Day approaching and to invite your father to church with you on that special day. Snapp loudly whispered, "I don't have a dad!" He didn't say it with emotion, just matter-of-fact.
But the blow to me was swift and deep. Everything within me wanted to crumble. Yet God's Word is a blessing to have engrained on one's heart. Quickly, I replied. "Yes you do! You have two. Your earthly father is up in Heaven with Jesus. And your Heavenly Father is with you where ever you go!"
"Oh, yea, that's right. I forgot." Later I did crumble and the tears overflowed and once again I grieved for my wonderful husband and the father he was to the boys. Yet my young Snapp's words resounded in my head tonight. "Oh, yea, that's right. I forgot."
God's promises are sure and right and true and worthy to cling to. And I am so glad my Heavenly Father gave me the right words to correct a wrong thought. And that I have HIS WORD to back it up in Psalm 68:5. "A father to the fatherless, and a judge of the widows, is God in his holy habitation."

Know a Manasseh?

I had this in the "Words of Life to me this week" section but felt the Lord saying to make it a post:

I challenge you to read 2 Chronicles 33 about Manasseh.He was a very tough king who was in deep deep sin and seemed not to be bothered by it at all. But the Lord got a hold of his heart and the turning point in his life came. He humbled himself and prayed unto the Lord. And then watch out people, he was on fire for God. Turning from his wicked ways, cleaning up the kingdom, knocking down idols, etc. It was a good reminder to me that the hardest of hearts is not impossible for God to touch. Keep praying for that seemingly hellbent, impossible soul--it just might be another Manasseh who will end up reviving the nation.

May 10, 2008


“Just look me in the eye,” Snipp said when I asked how to help him do his best when his Sunday School class sang in front of church. “Okay!” Snipp has always been anxious about people looking at him, so I knew this would be tough. But we’d been practicing and his teacher had song sheets to look at.

The day arrived and as he nervously went up on the platform with his small class, I smiled big and tried to catch his eye. About one line into the first song, Snipp looked up at me and the look in his eyes said, “There is a tsunami coming and I can’t stop it!!!” And in 3.5 seconds the grief wave hit. Snipp held his song sheet up in front of his face, but his shoulders shook with his sobs and we all knew of his tears. He tried to subdue them to no avail. My heart just broke and I cried with him when everything within me wanted to run to my firstborn and take his pain and fear away. I stayed in my seat and cried and prayed. It took a lot of courage for him to not run off the platform and hid. He just held the song sheet in front of his face as the grief wave tossed his emotions about. Toward the end of the last song, he clenched his fist to his side as a sign of his determination to squelch the tears and sing. Finally, it was over and as they came down, I met him at the back of church and guided him outside to hug and talk.
What had brought on this grief wave??? Was it that Daddy wasn’t here to be smiling at him from his seat? Was it because Grandpa didn’t make it because he was in the hospital? Was it because his uncle he had invited had to work instead? Was it due to nervousness that overwhelmed him?
According to Snipp, it was EVERYTHING! All the above, plus the absence of his mother praying with him ahead of time. I just held him and apologized for not doing so, and told him how sorry I was all the people he wanted to be there couldn’t. And I cried some more silently and prayed for the Lord to heal the hurts I couldn't. Finally, we were both calmed down and I walked him downstairs to Jr. Church then returned to my seat. More tears silently slid from my eyes. "Oh, Lord, I just hurt for him."

A couple hours later we were home again and as he changed into play clothes, I heard Snipp singing. Mind you, he wasn't timidly singing or just humming, but belt-it-out-with-gusto singing "HE'S ABLE! HE'S ABLE! I KNOW HE IS ABLE! I KNOW MY LORD IS ABLE TO CARRY ME THROUGH! " Now just to clarify this wasn't one of his songs he was to have sung earlier at church. But to me it was as if the Holy Spirit was rallying Snipp to remember that He will carry him through anything he faces no matter how heartbreaking or scary. And as I listened I was reminded of the rest of the song, "He heals the broken hearted, and He sets the captives free, He made the lame to walk again and caused the blind to see." Oh, thank You, Jesus, You are able to carry us through.

May 05, 2008


A couple weeks ago at prayer meeting, I just felt God was withholding Himself from me. Usual as we pray, I can just feel His Presence almost like a father holding his child on his lap. But at that meeting, I just felt God was distant. Instantly, I began to search my mind for sins unconfessed and sought the Lord again. Still distance, I was beginning to feel panic rose up within and got out of my seat and dropped desperately to my knees. Still ..... God withholded Himself, it felt like hours passed, but then moments later I felt His arms surrounding me, holding me, calming my fears. And He whispered to my soul, "This is how those who don't know me feel. You have forgotten what it was like, not to have this relationship with Me. I needed to remind you." Of course, the tears of relief and joy spilled over my cheeks as I nestled in His embrace. And I recalled the days before the Lord saved me. And was overwhelmed by how much I take my relationship with Christ for granted and how indifferent I had gotten toward those who don't know Him. I became overwhelmed with love for my Savior and compassion for those who are missing it, those who think I "got religion" and don't understand that I have a relationship with Christ Jesus, the Son of God who died for me!!! Who created me to have this relationship with Him, and who loves me more than I will ever understand! Oh, how I love being overwhelmed by His Presence.

April 18, 2008

Singing Again

I did it! I sang a solo in front of church! It has been years, literally, since I sang a special at church. Back in our former church, a friend and I would sing specials almost every Sunday. Then I had my 2nd child and she left the church and a hundred other things. We'd sing to the boys at night. I sang to them "I must tell Jesus" the night their daddy died. Then I couldn't do the nightly songs for over a month. Gradually I began singing to them at night. Then in the daytime. Then in the van. Then at a Ladies Fellowship. And now it was time for in front of church. After coming off a fast several weeks back, I awoke with a song on my heart, "Wings as Eagles" by Ron Hamilton. Now this song is one I haven't been able to sing through without crying. It speaks of having your dreams crumble, your strength almost gone, and life shatters all your dreams. You get the picture. Well, it wouldn't leave my head. And one day the hymnal on the piano was opened to it, and the time after that the congregation sang it. Then I had this picture in my mind of my husband sitting in a church pew with his arm across the back of it. He was grinning from ear to ear that smile that said, "That's my woman!" So I felt the Lord saying clearly "Sing it!" Then I got sick and all I could do was squeak. Finally, I went to my pastor Wednesday and said, "I know my voice isn't back to 100%, but if I don't sing this song, I am going to burst!" So he had me sing that night.

Snipp elbowed me right before it was time for the special and whispered, "Don't cry!" "I won't," I said, though I wasn't sure. But as I sang, I looked at Snipp and Snapp it caused me to smile at these blessings from the Lord and I shed not a tear. Now I can not speak for the congregation. I did accidentaly start singing the 1st verse again instead of the second, but I quickly caught myself. Snapp was quick to point out that I messed up when I returned to my seat. He still gave me a big hug and smile though. Snapp loves to sing and is a little bit of a perfectionist about it. I don't claim to sing very well; I just love to sing to my Lord. My Life Verse: Psalm 28:7 The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusted in him, and I am helped: therefore my heart greatly rejoiceth; and with my song will I praise him.

April 12, 2008

Who art thou ...

Scripture has a way of embedding in one's mind and resurfacing when the Holy Spirit is trying to get your attention. Some today say God doesn't speak. My reply is a challenge to read His Word and see if it doesn't speak to them. It is powerful beyond words. There are times when I don't know what to pray and His word fills my mind. There are times when I busy myself in this world and He rebukes me. Every word is with love, Fatherly love which isn't as tender as we want it sometimes.

"Who art thou that judgest another man's servant?" These words came clearly to me tonight. And I was lovingly "put in my place." Questions and conviction filled my heart. Who? How am I judging? My mind reeled over the past hours and days. Many, many sins came to mind. Tears welded up within me and another scripture was my heart's cry "God be merciful to me a sinner."(Luke 18:13) Oh, being washed by the Lord is so rejuvenating, so refreshing and purifying. Upon arriving home, I had to search God's Word for His words I heard tonight. At last, I found them.

Romans 14
4Who art thou that judgest another man's servant? to his own master he standeth or falleth. Yea, he shall be holden up: for God is able to make him stand.
10But why dost thou judge thy brother? or why dost thou set at nought thy brother? for we shall all stand before the judgment seat of Christ.
11For it is written, As I live, saith the Lord, every knee shall bow to me, and every tongue shall confess to God.
12So then every one of us shall give account of himself to God.

WOW! Four verses backed with power and conviction and truth. My mind will be "chewing" on these for weeks!

April 09, 2008

Go Seeing Daddy

This past week we had special meetings at church. There was so much that touched my heart that I cannot blog it at this time. But something God clearly spoke to me on was this. "If your husband was going to be in town from 8pm-10pm on a Saturday night, wouldn't you take the boys and go meet with him?" It wouldn't matter how late it was, it wouldn't matter how early we needed to get up the next morning for Sunday School. No excuse would be good enough to deny myself and the boys time with my husband, time with daddy. "I am their Father; I am Your Husband. Come meet with me this Saturday night," my Lord whispered to me. Every Saturday night our church has prayer meeting. And God's Word says, "For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I in the midst of them." God, the Almighty Caretaker of us promised to be there. Why have we denied ourselves His Presence?? Why? No more. No more excuses. We went to prayer meeting this last Saturday and let me simple say, God was there! It was like when your eyes are shut you can still feel a hug and the feeling of being loved lasts long after that hug is done. The Presence of God was powerfully there. Snipp even told me he felt it. We definately will be going to see Abba this Saturday night:)

March 24, 2008

God Time

Oh, how painfully good is self examination. On Resurrection Sunday, we celebrated the Lord's Supper. During the time of examination before hand, the Lord really pricked my heart. Actually it felt more like a lovingly smack of "I love you too much to have this kind of thinking." One of the biggest burdens for my sons I feel is for them to have Guy Time. But what mom wants to beg others to spend time with her children? My heart cries that what they need is their father, a godly man that loves them and understands them. God, very bluntly said, "I am a father to the fatherless." Yes, but......they need time with men down here. "Have you let Me be their father?" Ouch! Have I? Has my own determination to find others to substitute for their father's influence blinded me from looking to the Great I AM. "I AM a Father to the fatherless." I have been missing a vitally important aspect in my parenting-- God Time. Oh, we do devotions together and study the Bible in school. But have I taught them, shown them, actively drawn them to seek their Heavenly Father?????? To go to Him with every joy, every fear, every struggle??? Have I taught them to read His Word expecting to be touched by His Word as if it was a letter written to them from their earthly father? Isn't that what God's Word really is? A letter written in love to us by Our Heavenly Father??? As these words penetrated the painful disappointments of unmet expectations, I felt the Father's humbling arms surrounding me. "Let go of your expectations, and let me be the Great I AM." At the close of the service we sang Amazing Grace. I tried, but the lump in my throat made it impossible. Of all the songs, this one! This one that my sweet husband would sing as a lullaby to the boys. I looked down at my oldest son and saw the pleasant memory in his eyes of his father holding him and singing the words softly. There wasn't longing there; just a feeling of being surrounded by love. It was as if the Lord Himself was holding us in His arms rocking us gently, letting me cry it out, and once again letting us find rest and comfort from Him.

March 15, 2008


The house was dreadfully quiet. Where did those little munchkins go that had been so determined to complicate my simple task? One appeared quietly. "Where's your brothers?" I inquired. "I don' know,"came the answer with a shrug. Noticing the kitchen door open, I checked outside. No one. After a call upstairs, another son appeared. But fear began to grip my heart as Snipp, Snapp and I searched the house, and memories flashed in my mind. "Please, Lord, no...." I ran outside again and hollered. My heart pounded and a familiar thought came to mind, "What if God allows what I fear most to happen again?"

To my relief, little Snurr came toddling out from around the front porch barefooted on the swampy lawn. I raced through puddles and slick mud and scooped him up. Tears overflowed and ran down my cheeks as I hugged him to my chest. "Thank You, Jesus!!!!" Inside I trembled at God's Sovereignty and protection. How often must I be taught how precious a life is, how temporary a task really is, how the little things can make such a huge difference. With my voice tight with emotion, I lightly reprimanded the older boys on the importance of keeping the kitchen door closed. Then Snipp asked,"Why are you crying, Mom?" I couldn't answer. The healthy reminder of reality that I am not in control and God is GOD was still so fresh. And how does one describes a mother's heart to a son anyway?

End of the Rope

I remember back in high school a poster hung on the wall in my college prep. class. It said, "When you are at the end of your rope, tie a knot in it!" I often feel like I come to the end of the rope and do my best to tie a knot in it. Yet after awhile, I begin to feel weak. "Oh, Lord, You've got to help me; I am going to fall!!" I cry out. Some times He comes and wraps His strong arms around me and holds me secure. Other times He tells me to just fall and He will catch me. That is the more difficult times. Yet He always, always catches me safe in His arms. I will admit, falling is a scary and lonely feeling. Yet being caught and carried in the arms of God is just too amazing for words.

February 26, 2008

The Break Wall

The bitter wind cut into my face and made me feel cold all the way to my bones. It matched the cold hollow feeling in my gut. I was really here, at the same spot my husband had taken me on our honeymoon. The sound of my feet on the walkway seemed like the clanging of a gong and my tears felt as frozen within me as the water around me. I recognized this frozen feeling and its companion of deep loneliness as the same as the evening I had to make myself leave my husband's casket knowing I would never look on his face again this side of heaven. This was the 2nd long and loneliest walk on this journey of singleness.

I knew it was going to cut deep into my heart, yet it was my heart that was insisting this was a place I needed to visit. It was a place were I had felt like it was just my husband and me and God in the whole world. And I guess I hoped to feel that feeling again. "I'm here," I whispered and I waited. All I felt was shattered dreams and an overwhelming coldness that reminded me again that my beloved is gone. The tears within me melted and overflowed freezing instead on my cheeks.

As I gazed out over the frozen water, I was reminded of a poem I had heard at a funeral just the day before. It spoke of a great ship and how when it disappears over the horizon people speak of it as being gone, yet it is still there, huge and majestic on the sea, just out of our view. I know my husband lives on. I know of his relationship with Jesus and the promises of God's Word. I know he lives on. I see him in the children and his memories fill my mind. Yet pictures don't show reveal how intense his eyes were. How they could look deep into my soul and understand what words couldn't describe. Or how the sound of his voice could melt away irritation in a child or the worries within me. Or how his arms were like a suit of armour protecting me from the world's assaults. Only one who has lost someone so dear to them can understand the depth of emotion that is spoken in the words "I miss him."

And yet I know he lives. My beloved lives on just beyond my view. I was reminded of how spring seems so far away, and the children wonder it if will ever come. But I know it will. They try to say my Jesus is dead too. But I know He arose and I know He lives. I have heard His voice in my soul and have felt His angels lift me up. His forgiveness has cleansed me within were no man could know the secret sins there of. The Lord reminded me He did not leave me without hope.

"But I miss his arms around me," I sobbed.

"Hug your children for they miss his arms too. Let me use you to hug them."

"And I so miss talking to him and hearing his wisdom and humor,"I lamented as the sorrow overflowed like the creek after a spring rain.

"Talk to Me, my child, I love you the same and even more so."

I felt as hushed as Job by the words of God.

Talk to Me. Once again I had let my grief blind me from my Savior.
This relationship with the Lord is so different from the one with my husband, and I struggle sometimes yearning for the earthly ways I am used to. Forgetting to look to the One who created me and knows me even better than my beloved.

Talk to Me. As I stood up to head back to the land, to my children, to reality, I was reminded of what I was on. A break wall. Its job is to break the waves so the harbor and all its vessels were not pounded by the crashing power of the water. The Lord is my break wall. Without Him, I would be in despair, completely overwhelmed without hope.

Pay Your Tithe

This year I placed all my finances in the Lord's hands. Sounds easy, but I know I am not alone when I say that I used to think 10% went to God and the rest was mine to do with as I wished. The Lord revealed to me that I am just a steward of everything in my life: my children, my possessions, my money, etc. And that He is the real owner. So I placed these things in His Hands and rested in the fact that He was going to take care of everything as long as I followed His instructions. To some of you this may sound like bondage, but really it is freeing to know that He has possession because I sure can make a mess of things. Anyway, all of this is to lay the foundation for another one of life's lessons. A relative died and we had traveled out of state. Before leaving home, I made sure bills were paid, tithe was mailed in to our church, and the van was serviced. My van began to act up as we reached our destination and continued to do so until God revealed a lesson to me. My husband's family and us went out to eat at one of those huge buffet restraurants and the total equaled my tithe! I paid the bill and pondered this. There is NO coincidences with God. I excused myself to the restroom and had a chat with my Lord. "I don't understand this. I mailed my tithe in." "Yes, you did. You were concerned about this coming Sunday, but you forgot about last week's" "OH" I had been home sick. I apologized for handling His money wrongly, felt His forgiveness, and rejoined the family. Several family members tried to thank me for the meal, but I insisted that they thank God for this meal was on Him! And you know what, my van was just fine after that and we had done nothing to it!!!!! So, please learn from this and pay your tithe.

February 12, 2008

His Plans, Not Mine

Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end." Twice in a week I was given this verse. Uh-oh, I thought, and braced myself for something unexpected. God's timing is perfect and I just stand in awe at how it is. I don't often think of God planning for my van to break down, but He does right in front of the home of a brother-in-the-Lord who is a mechanic! I didn't plan on running late out the door Sunday AM, but it was perfect in God's timing as a neighbor who has been trying to get a hold of me stopped by as we headed to our van. If I was on time, according to me, this encounter wouldn't have happened and I would have believed something about this person that wasn't true. I planned on snowplowing once we got home today. But God had other plans. He prompted someone to do the secret deed of plowing out the driveway, so I could write this post instead. I kind of like His plans better, and often wish I knew them in advance. But then that wouldn't require me to walk close to Him and hold His hand, now would it?

February 06, 2008


A new father scoops up his crying newborn baby. Ackwardly, he holds the wee bundle up to his shoulder and begins walking around the room, gently bouncing with each step. "It's okay. It's okay. Daddy's here. Daddy's here. Daddy's gotcha. Daddy's gotcha." Fastforward a couple years. A toddler sits and rocks his favorite cuddle friend. "It's otay. It's otay. I'm here. I'm here. I gawcha. I gawcha." Speed forward a couple more children, a couple more years. A widow falls to her knees weeping at the memorial site for her husband. She hears his words,"I'm not here. I'm okay. It's okay. God's here. God's got you. It's okay. God is near. God's gotcha!"

February 02, 2008


I turned away from the grove and headed back toward the house. Thoughts of my husband flooded my mind and tears threatened to make rivers down my cheeks. Unexpectantly, the dog growled and I looked up to see a boy on a bicycle. He quietly hopped off and walked toward me carrying something. I asked what I could do for him and he handed me a tube of deer summer sausage "from a deer we got" he said. We chatted a little more and I discovered he lived just a couple miles over and was from a plain dressed community. As he turned and rode away, my dog and I stood silently. The snow fell down gently around us and the air was so quiet. I looked down at the sausage. Did they know that the anniversary of my husband's death was near? Did they remember too or did they just follow the Lord's prompting to deliver it at this time? One thing was certain, God remembered. He knew how my soul ached. He knew the tears that my heart cried. He even knew how I love venison. Just a day before I had told someone how we had a buck in our backyard. And how beautiful it was to watch, but I told him if he came back, he'd be rump roast. A minor desire yet still heard by my Heavenly Father who cares ever so much about detail. Oh, how loved I felt. New tears welded up within me, not of sadness, but humble gratitude. Christ loves me, and oh, how sweet to be reminded. And then I too remembered .

January 28, 2008

That Hat

Given to Mom by Jesus

I am just a thick winter hat of a deep blue tone. For most months, I am just stuck in a box and even most winter days I am there. I am one of those waiting for company who forgets their own hat. But the man started wearing me after Christmas. I think his favorite black one needed washing. But he liked me because I was snug and not stretched out. I liked being worn by the man. He loved to be outside so I wasn’t in the box much. We traveled around a lot too most often in a white car. When the man got too warm he just took me off and set me beside him on the seat. The gloves, his bible, and me got the honor of being next to the man. Often we would hear him pray or he’d pick up the bible and read it when we weren’t in his work. I felt special to be worn by this great man.
On that Monday morning I was on top of his head as usual getting ready to leave for the day. The man kissed his wife goodbye and she lovingly stroked his beard. They gazed at each other deeply then said "I love you." Then we walked out into the cold winter air and got into the white car. As the man and his friend chattered, he slipped me off and raked his fingers through his hair, then put me on again as we headed into his work. Outside then inside we went that day to several different buildings, a bank, a car dealer, a grocery store, a shopping store, finally we were heading home in the dusk of the evening. It got quite warm in the new truck the man had gotten. He took me off and placed me next to him on top of the gloves his family had given him for his birthday.
Suddenly there was a horrible scraping sound of metal and a terrible blow of such force that spun the truck around and sent me flying off the seat. Finally everything stopped and there was an eerie silence. Moments later I heard a faint sound like singing and even though the outside air was cold there was a warmth surrounding us-the man and me. Then I saw the most precious thing. Angels and the face of Jesus. His hand beckoning the man to come. Light filled the truck as the man’s soul opened his eyes and the angels guided him up toward the Lord Jesus. Jesus was just smiling down at the man and then wrapped His arms around him. The man had many questions. But the Lord just smiled and said, “Let’s go home; my Father has it all taken care of. Don’t worry; He heard your prayers. They are safe in His arms.”Then they were all gone. The warmth left and the light faded. Darkness and cold surrounded me. I could hear men’s voices and the sound of sirens in the distance. I felt so honored to be worn by such a man; and even more honored and thrilled to witness his going home to Heaven. The woman wears me now, making her feel close to her man, reminding her Jesus is near, and that God the Father is honoring the man’s prayers.

January 25, 2008

The LORD's Hand

Yesterday morning,my devotional sent me to Isaiah 59:1-2 "Behold the LORD's hand is not shortened, that it cannot save; neither his ear heavy, that it cannot hear: but your iniquities have separated between you and your God, and your sins have hid his face from you, that he will not hear." Two things really jumped out at me. One was that God can reach those I feel helpless to reach: distant friends, missionaries across the sea, strangers I had one-time encounters with, a child who won't listen to reason. All these can be reached through prayer. And secondly, my sins can halt that communication. It separates me from God! And that is a scary thing. There is a spiritual war going on, and my sin puts me on the bench. And who likes to sit on the bench? So I run to Jesus, confess and repent, receive his cleansing, and get back in the game.

January 21, 2008

Waiting in Silence

Silence is a rare thing in this home with three rambuncious boys, but the other night I took them over to a friends home not far away.. As I walked into the warm house again, silence enveloped me. It was the strangest thing to have the house all quiet and it not being the middle of the night. Even then the dog is snoring! I spoke out loud to the quietly sleeping dog, and my voice sounded so loud in the childless house. As I waited for my friends to arrive, I expected the Lord to say something since He had my undivided attention. But that was not to be. Silence....just silence. Sometimes I feel like that in my prayer life, that I have sought for answers and direction and receive only silence. But I remember reading in a devotional once that when God is silent it is usually because He is quietly at work behind the scenes. And in the meantime, I am to grow in the waiting process. It can be so hard to wait in silence. Yet, in the past God has answered in His time, and He will do so again, I am sure. For the moment, I was to just trust in His quietness.

January 19, 2008


Years ago I went to a Mother's Day Tea and the speaker spoke about the many hats we wear as woman. Boy, did I ever feel like that this week: single mom, teacher, financial steward, daughter, student, provider, aunt, ladies fellowship organizer, humble receiver of gifts, snow removal operator, prayer warrior, sister, maid, dictator, and the list goes on and on. I am getting used to these different roles, but this week it seems I was switching them hourly. Like being on a track and veering to the right then suddenly left then doing a 180 and then a sharp left turn again........One role I never change from is child of the King. And I am ever thankful that the Holy Spirit never changes and is with me no matter what role I am doing. Jesus Christ the same yesterday and today and forever Hebrew 13:8

January 14, 2008

This Is Best

My first birthday without my husband was just months following his death. I was surrounded by family that day, and though their presence was a great comfort, oh, how my heart was aching. I remember just sobbing as the pain seemed to engulf me and no relief seemed in sight.

"Oh, Lord, if I didn't love him so much, this wouldn't hurt as much!" I thought.

Very clearly the response was "I love him more than you, and I said this is best."

"But the boys need their father!" I cried.

"And I love them more than you do, and I said this is best."

"But I hurt sooooo much, Lord!!!!"

And He tenderly answered, "And I love you more than you can ever imagine and I said this is best."

Many, many months have past since that day, but the Lord's words have stayed with me, wrapping me in security and love. He said this is best.
I don't have to understand why, or have all the answers. I just know He loves me. It was that great love that held Him to the cross, not the nails. That amazing love that cleanses me and keeps me. And that love is enough.

January 13, 2008

God Says McDonald's

Sunday am: I was getting ready and thinking about what to feed the boys, when I felt the Lord tell me, "Go to McDonald's" We never go out to eat on a Sunday morning, though we have ate on the way to church before. "Lord, we got to leave by 8AM to be able to do this." I told the boys of the plan and by 8 o'clock we were out the door. On the way, I kept wondering what was going to happen or who we would see there. As we walked up to order, the mom of some of our bus kids greeted us from off to the side. The whole family had come to church before Christmas and they had been heavy on my mind. I had been determined last week to stop by their home. In fact, in my purse I had a church bulletin as well as coloring pages for their youngest daughter who had been in my Sunday School class. But some how I never had accomplished my goal. Here was the reason for the strange instructions to eat out , and why the boys had woken up extra early this morning. I made sure I got the pages in my purse to her letting her know I'd been thinking of her. Only God knows why this day was better than last week. God's timing is perfect though we certainly aren't.

January 12, 2008

Snipp and The Wolf

He walked very hesitantly, balancing the flashlight and the bucket. Quickly, for the third time, Snipp raced back toward the house, tears streamed down his cheeks. My momma's heart wanted to go take his hand and walk him through the darkness to his destination. But a greater wisdom said this was a battle he needed to face on his own. So once again, I encouraged him and prayed over him, then sent him back out into the winter night. I cheered him on through the window........he walked uncertainly till he got to how far he had gotten before. He shined the flashlight all around him into the darkness, then back at me still at the window. Ever so slowly, Snipp crept forward out of the glow of the yard light toward the darkness; he still shined the light all around him cautiously. Finally, he reached his destination. Snipp dumped the bucket and walked, still cautiously but with a little more confidence, back to the house. I met him at the door cheerfully. His cheeks were still damp from previous tears and he looked very solemn. "You did it!" I exclaimed to Snipp. "Yay, the eyes in the woods were really headlights on the road. And it wasn't a wolf, but a board in the weeds,"he remarked with a smirk as he said the last part. We hugged and I think he had grown 2 inches taller. Sometimes what we fear most is really a lie in our mind and it is actually something harmless.

Email from God

Several nights ago, it was one of those where I am so missing my dear husband and his arms.........and I was telling God I wish He sent emails. And I began to wonder what He would say....His thoughts on my failures today and lack of being content in Him ......and the first email that opened was one of
e-flowers for me!! Why do I so often forget how much God loves me? And like a little girl I ran to Him to bask in His amazing love for little me.
Thank You, Jesus!