December 24, 2012

Emmanuel-- GOD with us.

Merry CHRISTmas!

The Massage Therapist

November has blown away like an autumn leaf,
And December is here with it's whirlwind weather.
And I realize I haven't posted on my blog in almost 8 weeks!
I have been quite busy in my quietness from our blog.
After such a chaotic year,
I feel like I am getting some resemblence of order again.
Life is stablizing, for a little while.....

I recently went for a Mommy Treat,
a back massage by my favorite massage therapist, Joy.
As I lay there getting pampered and listening to relaxing music,
I meditated on a thought I often think of during a massage.....

The LORD is like a massage therapist.

Yup, a massage therapist.
First, He waits for you to come to Him.
Next, He asks you where you feel stress and pain.
He listens to you with compassion,
then instructs you of what to do next.
Then He begins to work on you,
Sometimes His hands are gentle,
But He often has to work on you harder than you want,
because He finds things you didn't even know where there.
He uses heat, heat so hot yet He doesn't let you get burned,
hot heat to work out the wrinkles and kinks in you.
He speaks very little, but all the time He is constantly working on you.
As He works on you, you find yourself relaxing like you haven't in months,
and you could cry because His hands are so knowing about pain you didn't even realize you had. Gently but with determination He kneads and massages. Using oil, using heat, using pressure.......
His desire is to cleanse you, detoxify you, destress you......
And as usual, the time goes by fast, and reality calls you back.
Nothing in reality has changed. Bills need to be paid. Children need attention.
The laundry mountain is waiting and the house is needing repaired somewhere.
But inside you are changed. Inside you are more relaxed. More at peace. More trusting.
He reminds you before you leave to drink a lot of water daily, don't we all need His living water daily? We just get ourselves too busy to remember. You vow to drink more than you have been. And of course, before you go, you set up another appointment, for you know you need time with Him, for Him to work out your kinks again.

Yup, my LORD is like a massage therapist!
Have you made an appointment with HIM lately??

We need Christ daily. Daily we need to go to HIM. Every night I need to stretch out before HIM and share my heart and let Him work on me. And to be understanding of the pressure, and the heat, that they are to help me not to hurt me. His desire is not to burn me, but to better me. And when our time concludes, I will have His peace that passes all understanding.

October 16, 2012

Beauty for Ashes

So what does a young widow do on her wedding anniversary?

Celebrate her family......
That is the idea God gave me several years ago.
So we turned my wedding anniversary into JWS Family Days!!!
Because our family did begin on that day.
So now the days surrounding our wedding date we have fun,
celebrating our family kind of fun.

This year we did devotions on family verses,
ate meals with special homemade food,
biscuits, bread, dinner rolls, and more,
Did grave and leaf rubbings,
looked over baby books,
and photo albums,
shot BB guns,
went for a walk in the wood,
ended up busting up a dam of leaves at the creek,
returned home wet and pleased with ourselves,
had very fancy dining,
used the fine china from the china hutch,
elegant tablecloth and many candles,
had tea,
did devotions using ones grandpa had drawn for the boys in 2009,
and played board games.

I will admit the night before I was hit by a paralyzing grief wave.
I asked some praying sisters to pray.  The Lord was so gracious.
First the boys gave extra hugs and encouragement,
then God reminded me to write, so I journaled a couple pages.
I let the tears flow and received the comfort and peace only God can give.
Then God gave me ideas for the next day. 

Isaiah 61:3 To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified.

God truly does give beauty for ashes.

October 11, 2012

Little Cup of Grace

Oh, sweet little cup of grace,
How we prayed for you,
to be conceived,
to grow healthly,
to be safe,
to be born without complications
without any trouble

Last week, in God's wisdom,
you finally came,
by C-section as God knew,
what was best for you,
and for your momma.

Cute as a button,
and healthy as a horse,
our little cup of grace,
is here!

Oh, the fun of being an aunt.

Word of Thanks

I wanted to use this post to say thank you to a sweet elderly lady who was used of God.  I don't know her name.  Only saw her twice briefly at a restaurant. Her husband was next to my youngest son at the buffet line.  She came over to our corner booth much later and asked if I was the boys' mother.  "Yes, I am!" I stated, unsure of what she was going to say. "You are doing such a good job of raising them," she sweetly said and turned to leave almost before I could say thank you.  We watched out the window as they went to their car. Her husband must of been in his late 80's or more. And she was a very graceful and elegant lady at least his age or slightly younger. 
Only God knew how at the store earlier how awful some of the boys' behaviour was and how discouraged I was as a mom. Being a mom of three rambuncious boys is not for wimps.  Being a single mom is even tougher.  Some days are just hard. Grocery shopping and eating out can be daring adventures on those days.  This sweet woman was used of God to give me hope, to remind me to look at the positives in my boys, and to prompt me to look for another mom to give encouragement to.  It just might be exactly what she needs to hear.   
Proverbs 16:24
Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones.

 Proverbs 25:11
A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver.

Proverbs 15:23
A man hath joy by the answer of his mouth: and a word spoken in due season, how good is it!

 Ephesians 4:29
Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.

September 14, 2012

Fret Not

Psalm 27:13-14I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD.

Psalm 37:1-8 Fret not thyself.....Trust in the LORD and do good..............Commit thy way unto the LORD: trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass.........Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for him: fret not thyself..........Cease from anger, and forsake wrath: fret not thyself in anywise to do evil

Theses verse spoke to my heart today.
Wait on the LORD and Don't fret
Seems to be the major themes that God is trying to speak to me
Rest in HIM; don't fret.

Sounds so easy.......Psalm 27:11-12 say Teach me thy way, O LORD, and lead me in a plain path, because of mine enemies. Deliver me not over unto the will of mine enemies for false witnesses are risen up against me, and such as breath out cruelty.

Some times my own mind is the enemy, or should I say used by the Enemy. Sometimes my own emotions are like a weapon against my own soul.

And finally I do what is needed.............
I run...............
I run to Jesus and cling.........................
And wait for His Comfort to wash over me
Wait for His peace to come
And cry out to Him to help me fret not.

September 10, 2012

Realigning My Thinking

On a cold February evening in 2006, my world was shattered into a million pieces. After the shock and numbness wore off, I felt like my body had been torn in half and my heart lay bleeding. Slowly, the reality that my beloved Jim was gone from this life began to sink into my mind. For awhile it hurt to breath, then it hurt to laugh, then it hurt to live, then suddenly it was time for our little precious Snurr to be born. It was an extremely difficult day. And most of that day and night, one thought kept screaming in my head, "Jim is suppose to be here for this!!!"

Since that day, I have had that thought countless times. When Snipp learned to ride his bike, when Snapp had questions I couldn't answer, when Snurr began to walk, when I had to make big decisions.........and hundreds of other times.

Recently I had that same thought, "Jim is suppose to be here for this."

Gently and firmly I felt God speak to my heart, "No, he isn't."

Whoa!!! I found myself holding my breath, stunned. First of all, this is the first time in all the times of me having that thought did I ever feel the Lord speak to my heart about it.

And secondly, I wanted to argue. In my mind, fathers aren't suppose to die when they have young boys at home to raise. Women my age aren't suppose to be widows. Boys are suppose to have dads there to help them with things, teach them things, and such. Dads are suppose to see their children's accomplishments and hugs their wives when they've had a long day with the little warriors. Dad are suppose to be there.........................................

The truth began to touch my heart even as I began to argue, that my ways are not God's ways. And His ways are best. That just because I think or the world thinks that life should be a certain way doesn't mean that is what God thinks.

Again my heart heard, "No, Jim isn't suppose to be here. That wasn't my plan from the beginning."

I'll be honest, my first reaction to that statement was pain. A big ouch! That all my dreams and Jim's dreams too were not what God wanted for us, that they weren't what was best................

Once again I fell into His lap spiritually and cried. I know my Lord loves me more than I will ever understand. I also know that I will never understand all His ways, but I can trust His heart. Christ proved His love on Calvary. Everything He allows in my life is for my good and His glory. Hurting, I clung to the One whose words had seared my heart. I felt held as I cried and let this new truth sink into my soul and try to realigned my thinking.

Jim isn't suppose to be here.
Neither are others who died,
or moved away,
or have stepped away.
Things are the way they are because God has a purpose and a plan.

Again my mind goes back to another cold February day as I stood up during the funeral service and read these words from the front of my Bible:

In times of confusion, remember these truths:
  1. God has a plan; He is in control.
  2. God's timing is always perfect.
  3. We have nothing to fear.
  4. We have much to learn.

August 30, 2012

Mercy & Truth

I have been clinging to Psalm 57 verse 3b for months now.
That God would send for His mercy and His truth.
Mercy isn't always what we think,
truth isn't always easy to hear.
Mercy sometimes is when God allows the difficult and painful to happen,
and then holds you up in the midst of it.
Mercy is sometimes an inward miracle not seen by the enemy,
but felt in the heart.
Truth sets us free and Christ is truth. These are true.
Hearing about how my Lord was beaten and whipped is true, but it sure is hard to hear.
Truth can be very heartwrenching.
And as in all things, the Deceiver is working to twist truth and manipulate our interpretation of situations. So sometimes only God knows the whole truth. And I am learning that I need to be okay with that. Sometimes I seek to know about whole situations that I miss the lessons Christ is trying to teach me. And sometimes those lessons are so overwhelming, I feel like a kindergartner trying to understand algebra!
This much I know and this is what I cling to time and time again:
"God Almighty loves those I care for more than I do. His ways are best. And my Lord loves me more than I'll ever understand. He knows all, sees all, understands all. I am just to trust and remember His way is best."

August 17, 2012

With Charity

"Let all your things be done with charity." 1 Corinthians 16:14

This verse has been on my heart ever since my God Date earlier this week.
It has guided my tongue and smitten my heart. It has had me examine my motives and my relationships.

"Let all your things be done with charity."

"Let all your things be done with charity."

"Let all your things be done with charity."

"Let all your things be done with charity."

I know it seems repetive but we need to slow down and really read the Bible sometimes. Emphasis the bold words each time. Don't you just feel it sink into your heart?

Charity is love, not the "I love what you do for me." kind of love, but the love when they can't do anything in return kind of love. The love of the Lord flowing out of you to others. I should be know as a Christian, a Christ follower, by my love.

Isn't that what Christ said?
"By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another." John 13:35

And not only to those outside my home, but within my home, I must ooze the love of God in all that I do and say. I haven't arrived at the all part yet, but it is my goal, my banner on the horizon I am striving for.

"Let all your things be done with charity."

August 02, 2012


Psalms 60:12 Through God we shall do valiantly: for he it is that shall tread down our enemies.
Now there's a great verse for us as we kick off our new year of homeschool.

Kind of reminds me of Phillipians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

Through Christ (God) we shall do (homeschool) valiantly

Through Christ (God) we shall (fight the devil) valiantly

Through Christ we shall say NO! to sin valiantly

These and many other examples come to mind.

Valiantly....there is a word we don't hear much anymore.

It is an adverb that means

1. Stoutly; vigorously; with personal strength.
2. Courageously; bravely; heroically.

It is a form of the word valiant.

Valiant means
1. Primarily, strong; vigorous in body; as a valiant fencer.
2. Brave; courageous; intrepid in danger; heroic; as a valiant soldier.
Be thou valiant for me, and fight the Lord's battles.
1Sam. 18.
3. Performed with valor; bravely conducted; heroic; as a valiant action or achievement; a valiant combat.

Yes, LORD, Through God we shall do valiantly.
Apart from Him we can do nothing.
But with Him we can be valiant!!

July 23, 2012

Directing My Paths

Today has been a day like no other. Today God's Sovereignty was magnified. I know God is All-Knowing, and He knows the beginning to the end. But sometimes I don't experience it so strongly in my life. Today was a day that I couldn't have missed it. It was a billboard in front of my face. Down to the details of things, God showed me He was in control. No wonder so many forefathers said Providence instead of God.
Our forefathers had a better handle on the Sovereignty of God. May I never forget this day and remember how God directs my steps. How I must, must stay focused on Him to hear Him tell me which way to go. And to obey without question. Providence has a reason and I must trust Him......

  • When He gives me direction, when my child is hurting.

  • When He makes me hesitate or wait, before just doing.

  • When He prompts my heart to make a phone call.

  • When He directs me to visit someone.

  • When He reveals a need to me.

  • When He desires for me to step back from a situation.

  • When He allows someone to share their fear, to speak the scripture He puts on my heart.

  • When He prompts me to pray

In all these ways, and many more, I am learning to trust. It is a life long process; I haven't arrived. But I am trying to have my eyes and ears more open.

July 07, 2012

What Kind of Builder Are You?

The Builder

A builder builded a temple.
He wrought it with grace and skill;
Pillars and groins and arches
All fashioned to work his will.
Men said, as they saw its beauty,
'It shall never know decay.
Great is thy skill, O Builder!
Thy fame shall endure for aye.'

A teacher builded a temple
With loving and infinite care,
Planning each arch with patience,
Laying each stone with prayer.
None praised her unceasing efforts.
None knew of her wondrous plan,
For the temple the teacher builded
Was unseen by the eyes of man.

Gone is the builder's temple,
Crumbled into the dust.
Low lies each stately pillar,
Food for consuming rust.
But the temple the teacher builded
Will last while the ages roll,
For that beautiful unseen temple
Was a child's immortal soul.

Author unknown

June 29, 2012

Psalm 57:7

Psalm 57 has just been a precious psalm to me since March.
Reading it gives me strength, hope, and comfort. There is much going on that I choose not to share on here, but one thing is certain: My Jesus cares and wants me to cast all my cares upon Him.

Last week this verse spoke loudly to me:
"My heart is fixed, O God, my heart is fixed; I will sing and give praise."

Keeping my eyes on Jesus, keeping my heart clinging to Him, isn't always easy when life swirls around me like an angry storm at sea. There are days I feel so weak, so drained, so empty.....But my Lord promises many things and I cling to those promises.

This verse "My heart is fixed, O God, my heart is fixed; I will sing and give praise." It rallys me to keep my eyes looking up and my heart clinging to the One who deserves all the worship and praise. So I will sing......and I have made myself sing some nights especially when fear stalks around me and life seems to overwhelm me.

And thank you to all of you who pray for me and the boys. You just don't know how much those prayers hold us up some days. Hugs to you all!

June 20, 2012

Father's Day Recap

There has been so much going on with extended family that this year's Father's Day creeped up on me. There was several things I intended to do that didn't get done. Yet over all, this 7th Father's Day without Jim was a good day.

Everything was our normal Sunday morning till after church. We went to Pizza Hut and ordered our family order of cheese sticks cut in half like Daddy used to get after church. Then we headed to a special place Daddy would go on his lunch breaks and read his Bible. It is near the river and we observed wildlife after we finished eating. We stopped by my folks' place to drop off something for my dad. He was resting which was okay. (He has been going through radiation treatments after having a tumor removed.)

Then we went home planned to watch the Daddy movie. It didn't want to work in our VCR, so we watch a home video of Jim's high school graduation open house. It was funny and interesting to see everyone so much younger and see what car Daddy had. Then we watched the Daddy DVD that my in-laws made us. There are various songs set to a slide show of picture of Jim. It is precious! I cried some, but they were sweet tears. Jim was such a loving husband, a devoted, and fun-loving father. And the pictures show it.
After this, Snapp wanted to try on Daddy's boots. So we looked through 2 tubs of clothes. Snapp tried on Daddy's boots and 2 different pairs of coveralls. We also found the winter hat that is in "That Hat". It was just sweet time.
Later after church, we went for a walk and crossed the walking bridge. It turned out to be such a good day.
Earlier in the day, Snapp had said to me he loves Father's Day. I was a little surprised by this. He said he loves it because he feels closer to Daddy on Father's Day. Isn't that neat? It is a special day to him instead of a sad day.

Thank You, Lord, for just being so faithful. For turning what could be a sad day into a special day. You are so awesome.

Don't Quit

Here is one of my favorite poems.

Don't Quit

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest, if you must, but don't you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about,
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don't give up though the pace seems slow--
You may succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than,
It seems to a faint and faltering man,
Often the struggler has given up,
When he might have captured the victor's cup,
And he learned too late when the night slipped down,
How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out--
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far,
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit--
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.

- Author unknown

June 13, 2012

Look for the small miracles and you'll find, they're everywhere.

May 31, 2012


Yesterday in devotions we read Psalm 56. This two verse stood out to me.
Verse 3 "What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee."
Verse 11 "In God have I put my trust: I will not be afraid what man can do unto me."

God showed me how fear and trusting Him were on opposite ends of a see-saw. When we are afraid, fear is up high, and trust in God is low. Some times that fear can seem so heavy and powerful. It can be difficult to trust in God when it doesn't make sense, when it seems impossible. Faith, even as small as a mustard seed, is all that is needed though. We must push ourselves to trust in God. Fear is then made low, and that powerful fear becomes weak. Then our trust in God is lifted up high. When fear no longer can threaten and bully us, we will be triumphantly trusting the Lord.

May 28, 2012


Birthdays are a great time for reflection. As I think back over my years certain birthdays stand out:
I turned 5 and have a bandaid on my chin and my knee. I loved Strawberry Shortcake. (I still have her.)
I turned 6 or 7 and invited some girls and some boys to my party. None of the girls came. The boys ran off and played with my brothers.
I turned 12 and there were 12 of us girls at my overnight party. We put make up on each other and got in a huge fight the next day. We kind of made up before the picture was taken.
By my 13th birthday I was in a new state and claimed it as my own. I don't remember much except climbing up into our willow tree. I loved that tree! My 16th birthday...a party at the park and my brother flirted with my best friend. They are now married:)
My 18th birthday was the same day I graduated!! Very exciting day!
My 20th birthday I spent with just my parents. We ate at the Machine Shed. The gals sang to me after they brought me a dessert with lots of ice cream and chocolate!
My 24th or 25th birthday my husband bought me several things and had them spread out on the couch when I came down after getting Snipp to sleep. Money was tight and I was very surprised how he pampered me. The two gifts that stick out in my mind the most were a journal and a red dress with white poke-a-dots. I still have the journal. The dress was given away years ago.
My 28th birthday, my husband had put a sink in the kitchen and I had a woman only party at the church, relatives and friends came. It was my golden birthday! It was a precious time.
My 29th birthday I was a young widow with three boys and a bleeding heart. God spoke sweet words of comfort to my heart. "I love them more than you do and I say this is best. I love you more than you can ever imagine and I say this is best."
One of the birthdays after that we had a picnic at my in-laws. Another year there was a surprise birthday after church.
Two years ago I had the outpouring followed by a precious dream.
Last night was another surprise party after church after I had an afternoon at my brother's.
Today I slept in, ate ice cream for breakfast, played at a park, and shopped. Didn't buy anything too big. A new journal. Purple pens. A new shampoo to try. And in the weeks to come we will get a new-to-us, just-for-fun vehicle. A girl has to keep these boys on their toes, right? Besides the wind through my hair is great therapy :)

On a more serious note: I look back and see the Lord weaving my life, the good and the bad. Making a tapestry. My side doesn't always look beautiful, but I look forward to seeing it all from His point of view. It has been almost 14yrs since Jesus came into my heart. And I am so glad that He will never leave me nor forsake me. All the trials and struggles and growing pains have shaped me into who I am.

Many years ago, as part of a bible study we made lists of goals for ourselves. Here is what I wrote:
One year from now, when I am 27, I would like to be a woman who is worthy to be a deacon's wife. I need to be more virtuous, more mindful of how my words touch others, more self-controlled and alert to others around me, more faithful and trustworthy in all things, modest and discreet in speech as well as dress.
Ten years from now, at the age of 36(I am getting close to this)I would like to be a leader to younger women in the faith. Someone who is deeply respected as to how I submit and support my husband and as to how I'm raising my children. I want to be spiritually grounded, to have many verses memorized on various subjects, and to have a consistent walk backed by biblical principles. Gentle yet firm with others' sin and extremely vigilant about sin in my own life. A true prayer warrior with stories of triumph to share. To be truly committed to Christ 24/7

I haven't reached 36 yet. But I see the need to modify this some. I need to do some dreaming, meditating, and examining. Where do I want to be in 1 year and in 10 years?

Hmmm, birthdays are good days for reflecting, but also for looking at weaknesses and figuring out a game plan to strengthen them.

May 10, 2012


Amy Carmichael: "Father, I'm not soaring today. Help me."

God: "Daughter, soaring is not always flying high above the world. Sometimes one is soaring only two feet above the ground, just enough to keep you from getting tangled in the thorns and crashing against the rocks."
The other day on the way into town, a beautiful bald eagle soared above us then flew right in front of our vehicle. It ended up flying straight in front of me toward some road kill. We followed it for several seconds, admiring it soaring just 3-4 feet off the ground. Its wings span reached from the edge of the road to across the center line. Suddenly it realized we were behind it so it couldn't stop for lunch, and it flew to the nearby field.

It was one of those breathtaking moments and made me think of the above quote. I have felt that often these past few months. And God never ceases to remind me that He has enough grace to help me through each day, and through Him I can soar even if it is just a few feet above the ground.

May 09, 2012

God Provides

Philippians 4:19 But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.

April 21, 2012

How Much Does God Love Me?

Answer: As much as He loves His only Begotten Son, Christ Jesus!

John 17:23 I in them, and thou in me, that they may be made perfect in one; and that the world may know that thou hast sent me, and hast loved them, as thou hast loved me.

March 28, 2012

Ye Came Unto Me

Matthew 25:34- 40 Then shall the King say unto them on his right hand, Come, ye blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world:
For I was an hungred, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in: Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me. Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink? When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee? Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee? And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.

Recently God put it on my heart to visit someone at the county jail. This wasn't a gentle whisper, it was a nagging command until I confirmed it outloud. It was an experience I will never forget.

We had to talk through a phone and everything echoed. I had a little window to look through. Everything else was bars and gray. The jailers were very nice and respectful. The inmate awaiting trial was a mixture of grief and joy. I know that sounds strange. But it was like seeing a gem inside a dark mine. That is the power of the Lord Jesus. No wall or bars can keep Him out. He promised to never leave us nor forsake us. And my Jesus keeps His word. This welcomed-home prodigal child just glowed with love for the Lord. Gratitude flowed from heart and lips. When God allows everything taken from us is when we realize He is enough. A contentment enters the soul that is difficult to explain. A hope that cannot be expained is oxygen to the believer. Earthly things appear dim and heavenly things seem so clear. And the hope that just one soul will be snatched from hell makes all the suffering have purpose and worth it all.

I drove home encouraged and thankful and smitten in my heart. I take so much for granted. I look too much on earthly things.
I am too discontented too often. I don't spend enough time being a worshiper of the Living God or reading His Words of Life.
Maybe I am the one in jail and this other believer is more free than I realize.

Lord, thank You for opening my eyes to so much. For reminding me of my early days as Your child and loving me when I allow myself to be imprisoned by the cares of this life. My eyes are on You, My Lord. You are my strength and shield. Thank You for saving my wicked selfish soul. Thank You for loving me when I didn't even love You. Thank You for never leaving my side and cradling my broken heart when You took my beloved Home. You are alive! You are King! And I long for the day when every knee shall bow and every tongue shall confess that You are LORD!!

God at Work

Last week Psalm 77: 7-9 seemed so true to me. Sometimes God can seem so silent, that the enemy will try to convince us the Lord isn't at work on our behalf. Then the Lord reminded me of Elijah in 1 Kings 18. Three times Elijah had water dumped on the sacrifice for the Lord before he prayed, crying out to God to show the people He was the true God. Immediately fire fell consuming the sacrifice, the wood, the stones, the dust, and licked up the water in the trench!! God is a consuming fire.

Yet when Elijah prayed for the three year drought to stop and rain to come, the answer wasn't immediate. Elijah prayed and prayed. His servant went and looked six times no sign of God at work. The seventh time the servant said there was a little cloud like a man's hand. Then one verse later the sky became black with clouds, wind and a great rain.

Encouraged again I put on my extra strength knee pads and got busy praying to the God who has power over wind and rain.

Then the next day He did a little miracle. He knew how important to my boys and me this little thing was and in His tenderness He took care of the situation. It is just a reminder to me that God can do anything. And that even in the midst of a sinful and wicked world, He is at work.

Even when He seems silent.

March 18, 2012

Washed by the Word

Someone said recently we live in a S & G world. You know, Sodom and Gomorrah. We hear some of the most awful things these days. I feel defiled just hearing about them. Wash me, Lord. And He does with His word.
(Ephesians 5:26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,)

Philippians 4:8 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

March 16, 2012

Psalm 91

He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.

I will say of the LORD, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust.

Surely he shall deliver thee from the snare of the fowler, and from the noisome pestilence.

He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler.

Thou shalt not be afraid for the terror by night; nor for the arrow that flieth by day;

Nor for the pestilence that walketh in darkness; nor for the destruction that wasteth at noonday.

A thousand shall fall at thy side, and ten thousand at thy right hand; but it shall not come nigh thee.

Only with thine eyes shalt thou behold and see the reward of the wicked. Because thou hast made the LORD, which is my refuge, even the most High, thy habitation;

There shall no evil befall thee, neither shall any plague come nigh thy dwelling.

For he shall give his angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways. They shall bear thee up in their hands, lest thou dash thy foot against a stone.

Thou shalt tread upon the lion and adder: the young lion and the dragon shalt thou trample under feet.

Because he hath set his love upon me, therefore will I deliver him: I will set him on high, because he hath known my name.

He shall call upon me, and I will answer him: I will be with him in trouble; I will deliver him, and honour him.

With long life will I satisfy him, and shew him my salvation.

March 14, 2012

Precious Promises

God, You know.

I praise You and thank You for Your precious promises.

Psalms 57:1 Be merciful unto me, O God, be merciful unto me: for my soul trusteth in thee: yea, in the shadow of thy wings will I make my refuge, until these calamities be overpast.

Psalms 55:22 Cast thy burden upon the LORD, and he shall sustain thee: he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved.

Psalms 56:3 What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee.

Psalms 56:9 When I cry unto thee, then shall mine enemies turn back: this I know; for God is for me.

Psalms 56:11 In God have I put my trust: I will not be afraid what man can do unto me.

Psalms 57:3 He shall send from heaven, and save me from the reproach of him that would swallow me up. Selah. God shall send forth his mercy and his truth.

Psalms 57:5 Be thou exalted, O God, above the heavens; let thy glory be above all the earth.

February 15, 2012

When I was first saved, God showed me Matthew 22:37-38 "Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment."

I had read the words many times but they finally became so real to me. I remember rereading and rereading those verses. I had always thought "Do onto others as you would have them do unto you" was the greatest commandment.

Those two verses changed my whole thinking about what God thought about my priorities. I remember falling in love with Jesus in a very special way and how that in the months that followed, Jim was drawn back to Christ.

That was over 13 years ago. Recently my pastor preached a sermon on True Worship. My loving Lord rekindled my heart and reminded me again of the greatest commandment--love the Lord with all my heart, and with all my soul, and with all my mind.

As the world around me celebrated Valentine's Day and couples expressed their love to each other, I felt my cup was full. With Jim I experienced the most amazing depth of human love. With Christ, I experience a depth of love that touches every part of my being. I pray, dear reader, you understand what I mean.

February 02, 2012

In Memory of My Beloved

This is something the Lord gave me on the first anniversary of my husband's death. I was drawn to the accident scene. I did a lot of talking to God and a lot of crying. Then as I sat in silence, these words came to me and I had to write them down. The boys had been learning about personification and God used that to give me a story for the boys about their dad.

That Hat
Given to Mom by Jesus

February 2007

I am just a thick winter hat of a deep blue tone. For most months, I am just stuck in a box and even most winter days I am there. I am one of those waiting for company who forgets their own hat. But the man started wearing me after Christmas. I think his favorite black one needed washing. But he liked me because I was snug and not stretched out. I liked being worn by the man.

He loved to be outside so I wasn’t in the box much. We traveled around a lot too most often in a white car. When the man got too warm he just took me off and set me beside him on the seat. The gloves, his bible, and me got the honor of being next to the man. Often we would hear him pray or he’d pick up the bible and read it when we weren’t in his work. I felt special to be worn by this great man.

On that Monday morning I was on top of his head as usual getting ready to leave for the day. The man kissed his wife goodbye and she lovingly stroked his beard. They gazed at each other deeply then said "I love you."

Then we walked out into the cold winter air and got into the white car. As the man and his friend chattered, he slipped me off and raked his fingers through his hair, then put me on again as we headed into his work. Outside then inside we went that day to several different buildings, a bank, a car dealer, a grocery store, a shopping store, finally we were heading home in the dusk of the evening.

It got quite warm in the new truck the man had gotten. He took me off and placed me next to him on top of the gloves his family had given him for his birthday. Suddenly there was a horrible scraping sound of metal and a terrible blow of such force that spun the truck around and sent me flying off the seat. Finally everything stopped and there was an eerie silence.

Moments later I heard a faint sound like singing and even though the outside air was cold there was a warmth surrounding us-the man and me. Then I saw the most precious thing. Angels and the face of Jesus. His hand beckoning the man to come. Light filled the truck as the man’s soul opened his eyes and the angels guided him up toward the Lord Jesus. Jesus was just smiling down at the man and then wrapped His arms around him.

The man had many questions. But the Lord just smiled and said, “Let’s go home; my Father has it all taken care of. Don’t worry; He heard your prayers. They are safe in His arms.”

Then they were all gone. The warmth left and the light faded. Darkness and cold surrounded me. I could hear men’s voices and the sound of sirens in the distance. I felt so honored to be worn by such a man; and even more honored and thrilled to witness his going home to Heaven. The woman wears me now, making her feel close to her man, reminding her Jesus is near, and that God the Father is honoring the man’s prayers.

January 20, 2012


The boys and I have been doing a study on slavery. You have heard of how slaves were bought and sold like cattle. Treated inhumanely. Families ribbed apart. Daily lives filled with fear and bitterness, bodies beaten and weary.....Our local library has a treasure of resources. One particular novel had us captivated for days. The Lord lead me on another journey at the same time, reading about different slaves in the Bible; Onesimus and Joseph.There is another slave most people miss when they read God's Word.

Imagine with me a typical plantation, slaves working hard under the overseers watchful eye. And a man walks up to the door of the Big House. He looks like a typical man. He knocks on the Big House door and talks with the master. Later all the slaves are summoned to the yard of the Big House. The master comes out and says that this man has paid for all of them. And all are free to leave with Him immediately. But they must accept that He paid for them in full and walk away from the plantation.

Would the slaves chose to stay with what was familiar or accept and follow the Man? Where would He lead them? Do they fear what He might demand of them? Do they trust He will do right to them? When asked why He bought them the only reply was "I love you." Some ask how much He paid. The tender reply comes, "with my blood" Only then do the slaves notice His hands and His feet and the side pierced.

Ah, now you see where I am going with this analogy. You and I, dear reader, are the slaves we miss in the Bible. See we were born into slavery, slavery to sin and death. But Jesus paid for our freedom with His precious blood. But some deny the Lord that bought them and remain in slavery to sin.

Romans 6:16-23 Know ye not, that to whom ye yield yourselves servants to obey, his servants ye are to whom ye obey; whether of sin unto death, or of obedience unto righteousness? But God be thanked, that ye were the servants of sin, but ye have obeyed from the heart that form of doctrine which was delivered you. Being then made free from sin, ye became the servants of righteousness. I speak after the manner of men because of the infirmity of your flesh: for as ye have yielded your members servants to uncleanness and to iniquity unto iniquity; even so now yield your members servants to righteousness unto holiness. For when ye were the servants of sin, ye were free from righteousness. What fruit had ye then in those things whereof ye are now ashamed? for the end of those things is death. But now being made free from sin, and become servants to God, ye have your fruit unto holiness, and the end everlasting life. For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.

The Summer of 1997 I was set free. And now I serve a new Master. He is the sweetest Master ever. He loves me more than I can ever imagine and I will serve Him with thanksgiving. The journey with Him hasn't always been what I thought. Some times the way was stoney, the valleys deep and the mountains high. Even a canyon I had to go down into. But He was with me all the way, holding my hand leading me gently.

It is my prayer that if you realize you are still in slavery to sin that you will accept that Christ paid for your freedom. He loves you so very much. If you already walk in this freedom, I pray that you are glorifying God daily. Just like at the end of slavery in this country, as long as we are on this earth we are in the time of recontruction. Freedom is given immediately, but learning to live with that mind set is a life long journey. Don't be discourged when you slip and sin. Remember the overseer has no power over you anymore. Stand up again and get following the Lord.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's.

Acts 20:28 Take heed therefore unto yourselves, and to all the flock, over the which the Holy Ghost hath made you overseers, to feed the church of God, which he hath purchased with his own blood.

1 Corinthians 7:23 Ye are bought with a price; be not ye the servants of men.
1 Peter 1:18-19 Forasmuch as ye know that ye were not redeemed with corruptible things, as silver and gold, from your vain conversation received by tradition from your fathers; But with the precious blood of Christ, as of a lamb without blemish and without spot:

Revelation 5:9 And they sung a new song, saying, Thou art worthy to take the book, and to open the seals thereof: for thou wast slain, and hast redeemed us to God by thy blood out of every kindred, and tongue, and people, and nation;

2 Peter 2:1 But there were false prophets also among the people, even as there shall be false teachers among you, who privily shall bring in damnable heresies, even denying the Lord that bought them, and bring upon themselves swift destruction.

Seeds of Faith

In ladies Bible study last week, we were asked to privately write down something we feel is lacking in our lives on a slip of paper. Later, my pastor's wife shared some powerful words.

What we lack is really a seed of faith planted in us. When we find promises we water and cultivate that seed of faith. Slowly it buds and becomes a sapling. By and by it grows into a might tree of faith.

Later in the class she gave us 5 scriptures to look up, to cling to, concerning this lack we feel so deeply:

Psalms 23:1 The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.

Psalms 34:8-10 O taste and see that the LORD is good: blessed is the man that trusteth in him. O fear the LORD, ye his saints: for there is no want to them that fear him. The young lions do lack, and suffer hunger: but they that seek the LORD shall not want any good thing.

Psalms 84:11 For the LORD God is a sun and shield: the LORD will give grace and glory: no good thing will he withhold from them that walk uprightly

Ecclesiastes 3:11 He hath made every thing beautiful in his time: also he hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God maketh from the beginning to the end.

Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

1 Corinthians 10:13 There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.

On the outside, I probably looked calm. But my inside were just a churning. Four out of the five verses I have written in my promise journal I keep. But I never looked at what I lack as a seed of faith.

I know what I feel like I lack the most:

My husband and all that he was to us.
My boys lack a dad.
I have friends and family who lack health, children, finances, security, love, freedom, and so much more.

What a way to look at this hole we feel.
There is a little seed in that hole, a seed of faith.

What words of hope!

What a challenge to trust God!

January 09, 2012

Only Believe

Grief and heartache are commonplace in this world. In Mark I read what Jesus said to one such hurting man. Words of comfort, words of hope, words of direction….words I pray encourage every grieving soul….

Jairus sought out Jesus to heal his daughter and fell down at His feet. Many of us are at this same place. Does your love for your child compel you to run to Jesus and fall at His feet? Maybe they battle a disease, or the child is grieving a loved one that has died, or the child has forsaken their faith, or the child has a learning disability. Whatever your deep concern is, have you run to Jesus about it?

“He besought him greatly…” Jairus poured out his heart to Jesus. He believed Jesus could heal her and revive her from her near death state. He desired Jesus to come and touch her. Hope began to fill his heart as the Master listened, He cared, and he begins to head home with Jarius.

Then the interruption came. The woman with the issue of blood touches Jesus and He wants to know who touched Him. Seems like a silly question. Isn’t He God? Of course He knew who touched Him, I think He just wanted her to confess and for the crowd to know about it. The disciples, the crowd, and Jairus needed to hear Jesus tell her that it was her faith had made her whole.

Then came messangers bring the news Jairus dreaded. When he saw them coming straight faced and serious, did he feel the same awful feeling in his gut as I did when the police pulled in my driveway? Maybe for you it was the doctor saying the words “incurable” about your child’s disease, or your grieving son doubting in the existance of God, or your daughter refuses to go to church with you, or the test scores that reveal that your child is years behind where he should be…….…

How many “if’s” must have played through Jairus’ mind. If that woman hadn’t of stopped Him. If I had come sooner. If there wasn’t such a crowd. Don’t we go down the “if” road too? If we had taken our child to this other doctor sooner. If my child would just open up about their grief. If that person hadn’t of offended our child. If if I was a better teacher...

Oh ,hope must have been snuffed out when the words “Thy daughter is dead” came to his ears and slowly sank into his heart. The searing pain, the overwhelming grief that must of sucked Jairus’ breath away and made it hard to stay standing, hard to even take another breath. The fear that must of swirled around him and the blackness of despair that began in his stomach and seemed to consume his insides.

And fears do come. They seem to pounce on our hearts and send us into a panic within ourselves. Fear of a child having physical pain or even dying before you do. Fears of your spouse’s death causing your child to turn away from God and you. Fear that your child has strayed so far away from God that they will never return, fear they were never born-again and won’t ever enter heaven. Fear that your child will have struggles all life long because he cannot read well. Fear….the opposite, the very enemy of faith.

Then through the pain came the Master’s voice, “ Be not afraid; only believe.” Five simple words, five powerful words to the heart of a grief stricken soul.

Our Lord is so wise, He knows our hearts. He knows how a grieving soul’s mind is racing and emotions are so thick that many words cannot be comprehended. Simple words of comfort and hope to a man whose emotions were raw and whose ears couldn’t handle a lot of speech.

Jesus said “..only believe.” He could have reminded Jairus of many of his other miracles, he could have even pointed out about the woman he had healed. But instead Christ said, “Be not afraid, only believe. Believe? Believe what?

Believe on Christ. Believe in Him to heal your child either here on earth or in heaven. Believe He loves you and desires what is best for you. Believe He can help you endure and that He loves your child even more than you do. Believe that He allowed their parent’s death not to destroy your child, but to work something special inside them. Believe that your wayward child will turn to Christ and be born-again. Believe that your children’s learning struggles are to strengthen him to soar like a butterfly’s struggles to get out of a cocoon are to strengthen its wings to soar. Believe that joy will come. Believe He will heal the broken in heart and bind up their wounds. Believe that you won’t hurt forever.

Only Believe
When the pain is blinding, when hope seems gone, when grief and sorrow attack your soul, Cling to Jesus and Believe. Believe He loves you, Believe that He is God, Believe that He is a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief. Believe He bears your grief and sorrow. Believe and find shelter in His arms. Believe and find hope and strength in His words.
Be not afraid, only Believe!

Mark 5:36 As soon as Jesus heard the word that was spoken, he saith unto the ruler of the synagogue, Be not afraid, only believe.