April 25, 2011

The Fear of the LORD

I will admit it, I have been missing Jim more lately. I have come to accept that a part of me will always long for my beloved. But the ache of that seems to come stronger at times. I am five years out on this journey and yet there are still memories that I have to face for the first time at times. Recently I had another of those experiences where I ran into and fell as I faced another memory and walked through it without him.

I was able to stuff the emotions and memories till the next morning when I was alone in my quiet time. Then the all too familiar ache seemed to swell within me and the tears overflowed. Experience has taught me to embrace rather then fight these grief waves. So I poured out my heart to my LORD and let the rivers run down my face. Peace came, comfort came.

My mind often wonders what Jim would think or say about various events that happen in our world. I have even challenged my children to ask themselves what would Daddy think of this? I do not believe in communicating with the dead. I do believe though that my God knows my heart and knows Jim's heart and can whisper to me what God would have told him to tell me. I don't know if any of you except other widows can understand what I mean.

There are several areas in my life that I long to hear Jim's thoughts on. This past weekend I feel like God answered them. And it all came back to the Fear of the LORD.

My husband was once quite rebellious toward God. Once he got right with his LORD though, his healthy fear of LORD ran deep, along side his deep love for Christ. He didn't write or underline much in his Bible but the verses he did were often on pride and fearing the Lord.

I feel like if Jim could send me a note from heaven today it would read:

Hey, Hon! It's me! I can't wait for you to be here! Till then though I want you to listen to me carefully. Fear the LORD and teach the boys to Fear the LORD.

It will make all difference in your service to the King, in your lives down there.
He loves you so much! We'll be there to meet you when you come.

Love ya!


April 21, 2011

1 Peter 5

I have been meditating on 1Peter the last few days, especially 1 Peter 5:5- 11

Likewise, ye younger, submit yourselves unto the elder. Yea, all of you be subject one to another, and be clothed with humility: for God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble.

Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time:

Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.

Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour:

Whom resist stedfast in the faith, knowing that the same afflictions are accomplished in your brethren that are in the world.

But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle you.

To him be glory and dominion for ever and ever. Amen.

Words of Life to Me:

Psalms 121:2 My help cometh from the LORD, which made heaven and earth.

This was in my son's Bible workbook last week as his memory verse. And each time he felt overwhelmed with school work, we recited it.

Again, another lesson for me as well......

I quickly I often forget Who is my helper............when the overwhelming responsibilities and tasks seem so HUGE.

The LORD, which made heaven and earth is where my help comes from

So, why should I doubt or fear or worry??

Psalms 121:1-2 I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help. My help cometh from the LORD, which made heaven and earth.

These are the beginning verses of my maternal grandmother's favorite Psalm. She lived in a valley and I am sure, often did look up to the hills and look to the LORD for help.

April 06, 2011


My son and I had a talk tonight about tears. To him they seem babyish and he feel embarrassed being around those who are crying and is afraid he will cry too. To me tears are a release, a cleansing, an expression of feelings there are no words for...........One time, a couple years ago one of my sons told me that my tears made him to know that it was okay for him to still be missing Daddy too. Tears.........I decided to do a word search on tears and see what God's Word said about them. Here is the unedited list, all 35 verses:

Search for: tears (35 verses)

2 Kings 20:5 Turn again, and tell Hezekiah the captain of my people, Thus saith the LORD, the God of David thy father, I have heard thy prayer, I have seen thy tears: behold, I will heal thee: on the third day thou shalt go up unto the house of the LORD.

Esther 8:3 And Esther spake yet again before the king, and fell down at his feet, and besought him with tears to put away the mischief of Haman the Agagite, and his device that he had devised against the Jews.

Job 16:20 My friends scorn me: but mine eye poureth out tears unto God.

Psalms 6:6 I am weary with my groaning; all the night make I my bed to swim; I water my couch with my tears.

Psalms 39:12 Hear my prayer, O LORD, and give ear unto my cry; hold not thy peace at my tears: for I am a stranger with thee, and a sojourner, as all my fathers were.

Psalms 42:3 My tears have been my meat day and night, while they continually say unto me, Where is thy God?

Psalms 56:8 Thou tellest my wanderings: put thou my tears into thy bottle: are they not in thy book?

Psalms 80:5 Thou feedest them with the bread of tears; and givest them tears to drink in great measure.

Psalms 116:8 For thou hast delivered my soul from death, mine eyes from tears, and my feet from falling.

Psalms 126:5 They that sow in tears shall reap in joy.

Ecclesiastes 4:1 So I returned, and considered all the oppressions that are done under the sun: and behold the tears of such as were oppressed, and they had no comforter; and on the side of their oppressors there was power; but they had no comforter.

Isaiah 16:9 Therefore I will bewail with the weeping of Jazer the vine of Sibmah: I will water thee with my tears, O Heshbon, and Elealeh: for the shouting for thy summer fruits and for thy harvest is fallen.

Isaiah 25:8 He will swallow up death in victory; and the Lord GOD will wipe away tears from off all faces; and the rebuke of his people shall he take away from off all the earth: for the LORD hath spoken it.

Isaiah 38:5 Go, and say to Hezekiah, Thus saith the LORD, the God of David thy father, I have heard thy prayer, I have seen thy tears: behold, I will add unto thy days fifteen years.

Jeremiah 9:1 Oh that my head were waters, and mine eyes a fountain of tears, that I might weep day and night for the slain of the daughter of my people!

Jeremiah 9:18 And let them make haste, and take up a wailing for us, that our eyes may run down with tears, and our eyelids gush out with waters.

Jeremiah 13:17 But if ye will not hear it, my soul shall weep in secret places for your pride; and mine eye shall weep sore, and run down with tears, because the LORD'S flock is carried away captive.

Jeremiah 14:17 Therefore thou shalt say this word unto them; Let mine eyes run down with tears night and day, and let them not cease: for the virgin daughter of my people is broken with a great breach, with a very grievous blow.

Jeremiah 31:16 Thus saith the LORD; Refrain thy voice from weeping, and thine eyes from tears: for thy work shall be rewarded, saith the LORD; and they shall come again from the land of the enemy.

Lamentations 1:2 She weepeth sore in the night, and her tears are on her cheeks: among all her lovers she hath none to comfort her: all her friends have dealt treacherously with her, they are become her enemies.

Lamentations 2:11 Mine eyes do fail with tears, my bowels are troubled, my liver is poured upon the earth, for the destruction of the daughter of my people; because the children and the sucklings swoon in the streets of the city.

Lamentations 2:18 Their heart cried unto the Lord, O wall of the daughter of Zion, let tears run down like a river day and night: give thyself no rest; let not the apple of thine eye cease.

Ezekiel 24:16 Son of man, behold, I take away from thee the desire of thine eyes with a stroke: yet neither shalt thou mourn nor weep, neither shall thy tears run down.

Malachi 2:13 And this have ye done again, covering the altar of the LORD with tears, with weeping, and with crying out, insomuch that he regardeth not the offering any more, or receiveth it with good will at your hand.

Mark 9:24 And straightway the father of the child cried out, and said with tears, Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief.

Luke 7:38 And stood at his feet behind him weeping, and began to wash his feet with tears, and did wipe them with the hairs of her head, and kissed his feet, and anointed them with the ointment.

Luke 7:44 And he turned to the woman, and said unto Simon, Seest thou this woman? I entered into thine house, thou gavest me no water for my feet: but she hath washed my feet with tears, and wiped them with the hairs of her head.

Acts 20:19 Serving the Lord with all humility of mind, and with many tears, and temptations, which befell me by the lying in wait of the Jews:

Acts 20:31 Therefore watch, and remember, that by the space of three years I ceased not to warn every one night and day with tears.

2 Corinthians 2:4 For out of much affliction and anguish of heart I wrote unto you with many tears; not that ye should be grieved, but that ye might know the love which I have more abundantly unto you.

2 Timothy 1:4 Greatly desiring to see thee, being mindful of thy tears, that I may be filled with joy;

Hebrews 5:7 Who in the days of his flesh, when he had offered up prayers and supplications with strong crying and tears unto him that was able to save him from death, and was heard in that he feared;

Hebrews 12:17 For ye know how that afterward, when he would have inherited the blessing, he was rejected: for he found no place of repentance, though he sought it carefully with tears.

Revelation 7:17 For the Lamb which is in the midst of the throne shall feed them, and shall lead them unto living fountains of waters: and God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes.

Revelation 21:4 And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.


These words of Rebecca's really touched my heart. "I have had to start looking at this 'new' road (being a young widow) as a privilege. You may be thinking WHAT THIS IS NO PRIVILEGE! But it is how many young widows do u know? I can honestly say I don't even know a dozen. We are specially chosen by God to go through what we are going through." I praying each of us can get to this place in our hearts with whatever God has chosen us to go through in our lives.

Rock in My Pocket:

Another deep thought was given to me by my pastor's wife. She is teaching an amazing Bible study on forgiving when we don't feel like it. Thanks to her, I have a visual picture of finding a rock in my pocket or sack every time I get upset with some one or can't seem to get over a hurt or offense. A rock that has a name on it and is adding weight to my load as I try to run this race for Jesus. A rock that is intended to do damage instead of restore. Now the rocks can be just pebbles or boulders, but either way they end up hurting those who carry them more than the person we wish to throw them at. I need to have a hole in the bottom of my pocket or sack so rocks are just dropped and lay forgotten as I run this race for Jesus.

Double Portion:

A friend shared with me a devotional she was giving at a baby shower and as I read through it a truth was revealed that should be obvious. Women need to keep their priorities in order: God, husband, children, etc. Now I don't have a husband here anymore. God fills that role. So I need to make sure I am spending double the time with God than I did as a married woman. And why not? I definitely need Him twice as much. Then it dawned on me that I am privileged to have HIM twice as much too. I know simply truth that just occurred to me............