April 25, 2011

The Fear of the LORD

I will admit it, I have been missing Jim more lately. I have come to accept that a part of me will always long for my beloved. But the ache of that seems to come stronger at times. I am five years out on this journey and yet there are still memories that I have to face for the first time at times. Recently I had another of those experiences where I ran into and fell as I faced another memory and walked through it without him.

I was able to stuff the emotions and memories till the next morning when I was alone in my quiet time. Then the all too familiar ache seemed to swell within me and the tears overflowed. Experience has taught me to embrace rather then fight these grief waves. So I poured out my heart to my LORD and let the rivers run down my face. Peace came, comfort came.

My mind often wonders what Jim would think or say about various events that happen in our world. I have even challenged my children to ask themselves what would Daddy think of this? I do not believe in communicating with the dead. I do believe though that my God knows my heart and knows Jim's heart and can whisper to me what God would have told him to tell me. I don't know if any of you except other widows can understand what I mean.

There are several areas in my life that I long to hear Jim's thoughts on. This past weekend I feel like God answered them. And it all came back to the Fear of the LORD.

My husband was once quite rebellious toward God. Once he got right with his LORD though, his healthy fear of LORD ran deep, along side his deep love for Christ. He didn't write or underline much in his Bible but the verses he did were often on pride and fearing the Lord.

I feel like if Jim could send me a note from heaven today it would read:

Hey, Hon! It's me! I can't wait for you to be here! Till then though I want you to listen to me carefully. Fear the LORD and teach the boys to Fear the LORD.

It will make all difference in your service to the King, in your lives down there.
He loves you so much! We'll be there to meet you when you come.

Love ya!


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