May 27, 2010

Isaiah 40:11

Isaiah 40:11

"He shall feed his flock like a shepherd: he shall gather the lambs with his arm, and carry them in his bosom, and shall gently lead those that are with young."

A sweet friend shared this verse with me the other night and then Grief Share used it in a recent email too. When I was pregnant with my second son, God gave me this verse to calm a fear I had within me about what kind of world this son would grow up in.

After Jim went Home to Heaven, the Lord reminded me of it again, especially the promise that He "shall gently lead those that are with young." A grieving parent needs to be lead gently, because she is a broken hearted person trying to comfort and lead broken hearted children. She is ever mindful that her steps are being followed and she is often very hard on herself.

Once again God reminds me of His promise not only to gently lead me, but also that "the lambs," my little ones, are being carried close to His heart. They are especially dear to Him. Oh, the peace to know that my children are near to the heart of God, the Great Shepherd.

May 25, 2010

Arrows in the Hand of a Mighty Man

Psalm 127:4-5

"As arrows are in the hand of a mighy man; so are children of the youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate."

Last week we got out Daddy's bow and arrows. We took turns attempting to shoot feeling like Indians or Jonathans or great hunters.......

We discoverd something interesting. Only three arrows had tips. How appropriate for a man who had three boys.

My mind drifts to an article I read some where
about a father saying how each of his boys was like an arrow. And that there are many kinds of arrows: practice, hunting, war, for show, etc. as I watched my little men attempt to shoot the targets, I wondered what kind of arrow they are and what is God's unique plan for each one. Every once in a while, I get a glimpse of what they might look like or act like as a man. And I see similarities with their dad. Or other male relatives.

Lord, help me to guide them to find their special purpose in Your hands and not compare themselves among themselves. To keep their eyes on You and Your target for their lives.

Spring Flowers

Each spring, the Lover of My Soul, sends me these flowers. And each spring the grove increases in their numbers. Every time I savor their sweet fragrance I can see my beloved Jim riding on the lawn tractor with his straw hat on, his head tilted slightly up, and his eyes shut inhaling the fragrance of these precious gifts of love from God.

May 21, 2010

Three-Fold Cord

I remember well the first time I was invited to go out to eat with two couples. Yikes! To be a fifth wheel! If they weren't Jim's sister and husband and Jim's best friend & his wife, I don't think I could have done it. Knowing that they cared much and were sensitive to me feeling like half a couple helped. But I still felt strange and thought about making up an excuse not to go. I did go and found out the wonderful news that Jim's sister was pregnant again after having miscarried previously. (She has since had my adorable nephew aka Prayer Boy.) Anyway, I was glad I went, but I will admit there was some painful times. Like when we tried to figure out where we were all going to sit (so the guys could talk and yet the girls still sit by their men) and when we prayed ( the girls just automatically reached for their husbands' hands and I just squeezed mine own tightly in my lap). They graciously listened as I shared memories of Jim or chatted about single parenting. It was definitely awkward for me, but it wasn't as bad as I thought either.

I read this in a Grief Share email today:
This feeling of loneliness and the consciousness that you are not part of a couple may cause you to avoid going into group situations where most of the other people are couples. God disagrees with the idea that three's a crowd. He reveals in His Word that great strength is available when three people come together.
(Ecclesiastes 4:12 & Matthew 18:20)

Tonight Ecclesiastes 4:12 really stood out to me. My mom had three kids, so all the time when we were quarreling as a child, I'd hear, "Two company, threes a crowd." I respectfully disagree. I think it is possible for three siblings to get along and be close knit. So I keep reminding my boys, "A threefold cord is not easily broken." It wasn't until tonight, that I realized this was for me as well. Being a third wheel in God's hands is powerful, not disheartening or drudgery.

Ahhhh, how Almighty God can breath life into what seems so negative. And make me see the priviledge it is to be that third person......

May 18, 2010

This Is Best (repeated)

As my birthday draws near, I am reminded of the sweet gift the Lord gave me the first year I celebrated it without Jim. Here is an old post I shared it on.

January 14, 2008

This Is Best
My first birthday without my husband was just months following his death. I was surrounded by family that day, and though their presence was a great comfort, oh, how my heart was aching. I remember just sobbing as the pain seemed to engulf me and no relief seemed in sight.

"Oh, Lord, if I didn't love him so much, this wouldn't hurt as much!" I thought.

Very clearly the response was "I love him more than you, and I said this is best."

"But the boys need their father!" I cried.

"And I love them more than you do, and I said this is best."

"But I hurt sooooo much, Lord!!!!"

And He tenderly answered, "And I love you more than you can ever imagine and I said this is best."

Many, many months have past since that day, but the Lord's words have stayed with me, wrapping me in security and love. He said this is best.I don't have to understand why, or have all the answers. I just know He loves me. It was that great love that held Him to the cross, not the nails. That amazing love that cleanses me and keeps me. And that love is enough.

May 17, 2010

Sowing Tears

News of another family getting swallowed up in life's rat race just tore me up last week. It hurts to see busyness dividing a family, each doing their own thing instead of being unified together as a couple and as a family. And sin is threatening to destroy it. A mental, emotional divorce seems inevitable. It hurts. They need Christ. They need His Word to show them the better way. Oh, they can have it soooooo good. It hurts to see them hurting. It hurts to see them reject Christ's ministry of restoration.
Oh, the burden for them was so great. It literally was bringing me to my knees. All I could think of was Psalm 126:5. "They that sow in tears shall reap in joy."

Lord, I pleaded, I have sown so many tears for these people through the years and I feel like I am losing the fight. I called on other trusted prayer warriors for I felt the burden just so heavy.

One sweet friend text back encouragement and pointed me to Psalm 5. As the tears rolled down my cheeks, I began to read it....I didn't get far and I had to stop. This was for me.........

Psalm 5:1-3
Give ear to my words, O LORD, consider my meditation.
Hearken unto the voice of my cry, my King, and my God: for unto thee will I pray.
My voice shalt thou hear in the morning, O LORD; in the morning will I direct my prayer unto thee, and will look up.

I stopped and prayed out loud His Holy Word.....and it ministered to my soul. God hears me. I have a listening ear with the King of kings and Lord of lords!! He cares. He loves these people more than I do! He is my King--He rules over all. He is my God, my personal, loving God who knows me better than I know myself. And He reminds me to look up. He is working on this even as I prayed and wept. He was already working on it behind the scenes and I was reminded of truths He taught me before:

1) God is sovereign over satan's attacks; He is in control.

2) God will work and who shall let (stop or hinder) it?

3) Beauty will rise from the ashes.

Peace washed over me, peace that passeth all understanding. And I could rest in knowing He was working. That He was still on the throne and something beautiful would come out of this all.


I hesitate to post this, for it seems prideful to mention, yet I also want to testify of God's work in my life.

Recently I was praying and fasting for a friend and her situation. It was a relatively short fast and yet mentally a tough one. God was amazing as usual and worked mightily. Once the "storm" was over I felt the Lord say it is finished and I planned to get some food that very night after an event. Just as we were leaving, a lady who had been recognized for her hard work and given flowers, divided her bouquet and gave me some of the flowers. I tried to decline to no avail. I finally accepted them as a little blessing from the Lord for following His leading to fast and pray. As we left the place, it was down pouring, literally sheets of water! I dreaded the drive home. Yet as we got gas before leaving town, it stopped. All the way home, no rain. Yet ten minutes after being home, down pouring again! Another gift from God. On the way home, we had another blessing. Because of the sudden and heavy raining, there was some flooding, and I suddenly came upon a lot of water on the road completely covering my lane. No oncoming traffic was coming so I could quickly drive out of it into the other lane. Again another gift from God this time in protection.

After I had the kids all tucked in bed, I sat listening to the rain. I felt so blessed. God called me to be a prayer warrior. When He tells me to pray, it is my duty to do so. When He tells me to fast also, it is my duty, as a soldier, to endure it. I didn't broadcast what I was doing. I just let my friend know she was covered in prayer. Another friend was my prayer partner and that was another blessing, we grew closer because of it. But only God knew the specific details of it all. He didn't need to give me anything. Just watching Him at work was enough. Just knowing I had been obedient was enough. Yet these blessings were sweet whispers to my heart, acts of love that said to me, "I am proud of you, my daughter". And what girl doesn't long for her Daddy to say that?!

May 13, 2010


Our church's school had their awards program and graduation last night. During the program, Snapp leaned over to me and asked me if I gave an award to him what would it be. I stated it would be the Creative Award. He is always looking at things in a new way and thinking deeply. I later shared that I would give Snipp the Dependable Award because I can count on him to do what I say and help me with things. To little Snurr, I would give the Teachable Award because he has such a thirst for learning and is always wanting to "do school."

Snapp told me this morning that if he could give me a trophy it would be the Burning Heart Award given to those who have a heart that is on fire for the Lord. He went on to say that he would give me the Accountable Award because God can count on me. Too cute! And the Helping Award because I help people. Such sweet compliments from my little man.

It is always interesting to me to see myself through my child's eyes. May I keep my eyes on Christ and be worthy of His reward.

May 05, 2010

No Fear

Again the Lord has taught me something through my children. Snipp and Snapp went together to get our mutt who had wandered away into the woods. I usually go with them, but this time Snurr needed my attention. Less than eight minutes later, Snipp emerged triumphant with our dog on the leash. But where was Snapp? About two minutes later, here he came. I thought he might be upset for being left behind in the woods. We had seen coyote tracks by the creek previously and I thought he might be fearful of them. Nope, he trudged over to the porch swing and climbed up next to me exhausted. Chasing down a mutt is hard work:) I asked him if he was scared when Snipp who was pulled by the dog home left him alone in the woods.

"I wasn't scared; if a coyote or wolf got me, I'd go to Heaven. And if they didn't, I knew you'd be here at home. "

His words reminded me of a story I heard of a woman who was so calm as the ship she was on was caught in a violent storm. When asked later why she was so calm, she explained that she had one daughter in heaven and another waiting for her at port. She knew she was going to see one of them soon, she just didn't know which.

Help me, Lord, to trust in You and have no fear.

May 02, 2010

I Will Work Part 2

Finally, right? Finally I will add part two of "I will work".
A visiting preacher preached this message and I will simply type out my notes as I wrote them:

Isaiah 43:10-13 10

Ye are my witnesses, saith the LORD, and my servant whom I have chosen: that ye may know and believe me, and understand that I am he: before me there was no God formed, neither shall there be after me.I, even I, am the LORD; and beside me there is no saviour. I have declared, and have saved, and I have shewed, when there was no strange god among you: therefore ye are my witnesses, saith the LORD, that I am God. I am a witness to the world for my God; I have a personal relationship with Him and am chosen to testify of Him. To tell the world there is no other saviour besides Him! Yea, before the day was I am he; and there is none that can deliver out of my hand: I will work, and who shall let it?

God asked Isaiah to do some crazy things for him; God does the abnormal:)

"I am he" God is reminding them of Himself. He defends Himself. Asking, Do you remember Me?

God is not only defensive, He is offensive. God pursues us, God seeks us! We separate the God of the old testament and of now, that is our own fault. God is the same God with the same heart for us.
I will work and who will let it? "Let" means to stop it or hinder it.


On my best day, I will disappoint you. There are people stronger than me, things stronger than me. Thankfully I am not making this promise. God is and that changes everything. God is the "I am" He told that to Moses and in the new testament He was telling the people "I am the way, I am the good shepherd, I am the bread of life" John 1:1 says He took nothing and made something.


My word is not like God's Word. Core men crumble; we are attacked. Our word means less and less. This is not a promise of a man. He will.......He has all the power of the God!!! Hollywood's idea is that there is a power struggle between God and satan. That is not truth! God has ALL Power!! With one breath He could inialate all evil. The devil doesn't influence God's Word. he can't change what God has said. It either has or will come to pass. It is settled in heaven.


We say try harder, try harder; yet they are just flesh and blood. In this flesh, I have nothing better. God says I will work. There is a law in scripture, God does the work. Man rests on the finish work. Rest on God. God's work is above what we can dream. Eph. 3:20 says before you even thought of it, God was at work. He tells us, I am able to do exceedingly, abundantly above what we ask or think. We don't think like God. God is not like us. When He makes a promise, He keeps it!

God works to build faith. Proving Himself over and over again. How many times you cry out to God and He answers. Then the next time you think, Oh, I don't think He can do it." God is working a work of holiness in us. Yet often when God works, we don't like how He does it. God is at work. He did a work, remember Elijah at Mt. Carmel? God has done a work in ME! God doesn't need my help; God is doing something and I want to be with Him to see it! God is not done with this church or with your family...He just doesn't work the way you do or think. God can resurrect the dead!! There is no greater work than the resurrection.

Who is going to stop God's work? Not won't stop God. It is my loss, my missing out if I get discouraged. God will raise up another. He will work. God will put you thorough the fire. Where was God when Joseph was in prison? Oh, He was there; He put him there. See God was at work.

I Will Work

(The Person) (The Power) (The Potential)

May 01, 2010

It Is Well

Remember "I will work" and how I said a visiting preacher preached a message on it? Well, in that message he gave another truth right before the meat of his message. We had just finished singing "It Is Well With My Soul." I knew the story of deep grief behind the song, so I wasn't expecting him to tell us that the first woman to say that was the Shunimite woman in the Bible.

The story in a nutshell is Elisha the prophet would often stay at this family's home and they ended up building a room and furnishing it just for him. In thanksgiving for their kindness, he asked God to give them a child as they had none. As a result, they have a son; later he gets sick and dies. After the boy dies, the mother goes to find the man of God. On her way, she is asked how she is and she replies, "It is well." She knew that God had breathed life into her womb and she had a son. That same God could breathe life into her son again. She knew God was going to do something. The preacher went on to say this, "Trials don't ruin a person; they reveal a person. When it looks dark for you and your church, God can breath supernatural life! In the darkness say, It is well! It is well because God is still on the throne. So it will always be well."

Wow! Powerful I was speaking with another person who grieves a loved one. She commented on God soveriegnty becoming more real to her and seeing more of His goodness every day. I agreed; it is like I can breathe again. It took me 4 yrs to reach this point; it took her 7 yrs. The Lord gets a person to this place in His timing as He has many personal lessons for each of us on the way.

Changing Word For the Year

Some of you know that my word for the year was consistent....well last year my word was focused and God changed it to prayer. It took me 5 months to accept it, but I finally have accepted that God has changed my word for this year to counsel.

Follower of Christ, Godly Widow, Godly Single Mother, Effective and Fun Homeschool Mom, Prayer Warrior, Praiser with song, and Counselor with Words of Life.........these are the many roles I feel I have been given by God. Yikes! Emaculate housekeeper didn't make the list...LOL. On a serious note, all of these are impossible without My God and surrounding each calling in intense prayer is a must.

So, dear readers, if you think of me-- pray for me to be worthy of my calling and to be a clear window for Him. So that when others look at me doing these roles, they see through me and see the beauty of GOD.