May 30, 2008

Clinging to the Promises

Father's Day is coming. It is billboarded all over the place. I love to honor dads though it also brings a sting with it as my post shares. We were sitting in the evening church service listening to the announcements the visiting preacher read from the bulletin. He reminded us of Father's Day approaching and to invite your father to church with you on that special day. Snapp loudly whispered, "I don't have a dad!" He didn't say it with emotion, just matter-of-fact.
But the blow to me was swift and deep. Everything within me wanted to crumble. Yet God's Word is a blessing to have engrained on one's heart. Quickly, I replied. "Yes you do! You have two. Your earthly father is up in Heaven with Jesus. And your Heavenly Father is with you where ever you go!"
"Oh, yea, that's right. I forgot." Later I did crumble and the tears overflowed and once again I grieved for my wonderful husband and the father he was to the boys. Yet my young Snapp's words resounded in my head tonight. "Oh, yea, that's right. I forgot."
God's promises are sure and right and true and worthy to cling to. And I am so glad my Heavenly Father gave me the right words to correct a wrong thought. And that I have HIS WORD to back it up in Psalm 68:5. "A father to the fatherless, and a judge of the widows, is God in his holy habitation."

Know a Manasseh?

I had this in the "Words of Life to me this week" section but felt the Lord saying to make it a post:

I challenge you to read 2 Chronicles 33 about Manasseh.He was a very tough king who was in deep deep sin and seemed not to be bothered by it at all. But the Lord got a hold of his heart and the turning point in his life came. He humbled himself and prayed unto the Lord. And then watch out people, he was on fire for God. Turning from his wicked ways, cleaning up the kingdom, knocking down idols, etc. It was a good reminder to me that the hardest of hearts is not impossible for God to touch. Keep praying for that seemingly hellbent, impossible soul--it just might be another Manasseh who will end up reviving the nation.

May 10, 2008

Tsunami

“Just look me in the eye,” Snipp said when I asked how to help him do his best when his Sunday School class sang in front of church. “Okay!” Snipp has always been anxious about people looking at him, so I knew this would be tough. But we’d been practicing and his teacher had song sheets to look at.

The day arrived and as he nervously went up on the platform with his small class, I smiled big and tried to catch his eye. About one line into the first song, Snipp looked up at me and the look in his eyes said, “There is a tsunami coming and I can’t stop it!!!” And in 3.5 seconds the grief wave hit. Snipp held his song sheet up in front of his face, but his shoulders shook with his sobs and we all knew of his tears. He tried to subdue them to no avail. My heart just broke and I cried with him when everything within me wanted to run to my firstborn and take his pain and fear away. I stayed in my seat and cried and prayed. It took a lot of courage for him to not run off the platform and hid. He just held the song sheet in front of his face as the grief wave tossed his emotions about. Toward the end of the last song, he clenched his fist to his side as a sign of his determination to squelch the tears and sing. Finally, it was over and as they came down, I met him at the back of church and guided him outside to hug and talk.
What had brought on this grief wave??? Was it that Daddy wasn’t here to be smiling at him from his seat? Was it because Grandpa didn’t make it because he was in the hospital? Was it because his uncle he had invited had to work instead? Was it due to nervousness that overwhelmed him?
According to Snipp, it was EVERYTHING! All the above, plus the absence of his mother praying with him ahead of time. I just held him and apologized for not doing so, and told him how sorry I was all the people he wanted to be there couldn’t. And I cried some more silently and prayed for the Lord to heal the hurts I couldn't. Finally, we were both calmed down and I walked him downstairs to Jr. Church then returned to my seat. More tears silently slid from my eyes. "Oh, Lord, I just hurt for him."

A couple hours later we were home again and as he changed into play clothes, I heard Snipp singing. Mind you, he wasn't timidly singing or just humming, but belt-it-out-with-gusto singing "HE'S ABLE! HE'S ABLE! I KNOW HE IS ABLE! I KNOW MY LORD IS ABLE TO CARRY ME THROUGH! " Now just to clarify this wasn't one of his songs he was to have sung earlier at church. But to me it was as if the Holy Spirit was rallying Snipp to remember that He will carry him through anything he faces no matter how heartbreaking or scary. And as I listened I was reminded of the rest of the song, "He heals the broken hearted, and He sets the captives free, He made the lame to walk again and caused the blind to see." Oh, thank You, Jesus, You are able to carry us through.

May 05, 2008

Overwhelmed

A couple weeks ago at prayer meeting, I just felt God was withholding Himself from me. Usual as we pray, I can just feel His Presence almost like a father holding his child on his lap. But at that meeting, I just felt God was distant. Instantly, I began to search my mind for sins unconfessed and sought the Lord again. Still distance, I was beginning to feel panic rose up within and got out of my seat and dropped desperately to my knees. Still ..... God withholded Himself, it felt like hours passed, but then moments later I felt His arms surrounding me, holding me, calming my fears. And He whispered to my soul, "This is how those who don't know me feel. You have forgotten what it was like, not to have this relationship with Me. I needed to remind you." Of course, the tears of relief and joy spilled over my cheeks as I nestled in His embrace. And I recalled the days before the Lord saved me. And was overwhelmed by how much I take my relationship with Christ for granted and how indifferent I had gotten toward those who don't know Him. I became overwhelmed with love for my Savior and compassion for those who are missing it, those who think I "got religion" and don't understand that I have a relationship with Christ Jesus, the Son of God who died for me!!! Who created me to have this relationship with Him, and who loves me more than I will ever understand! Oh, how I love being overwhelmed by His Presence.