November 24, 2009

Give and Take

"....the LORD gave, and the LORD hath taken away;
blessed be the name of the LORD." Job 1:21

This Thanksgiving is extra special to me. Ten years ago I miscarried my first baby on Thanksgiving Day just weeks after his conception. It was a very difficult time for me not just emotionally, but spiritually. For months, I grieved and floundered in my faith. But the LORD gave me the promise "He maketh the barren woman to keep house, and to be a joyful mother of children." Psalm 113:9 I clung to that promise. This week the first fruit of that promise will celebrate his birthday on Thanksgiving day. And just like Hannah of old, He not only gave me a son, but the LORD gave me more than I asked for, three sons!! How I praise HIM for HIS goodness to such a sinner as I. The child He took home, the child I never got to hold and longed for so much, that special child was there to greet my beloved husband. The thought of the two of them being together in Heaven waiting for us is a comfort and a joy to me. Again, the LORD shows me how HE knows the end from the beginning of a matter. And again, I am reminded to simple trust in an all-knowing God who loves me more than I will ever understand!

November 16, 2009

I Know HE is LORD

It is difficult to describe in words what happened during the morning service this past Sunday. But I will try because if I don't get it down in words, I fear it will be a dream:

The youth leader sang his special about the blood of Calvary speaking for me at the judgement seat. It was an amazing song. Then our pastor approached the pulpit to preach. Just then our assistant pastor asked if he could share something. He gave a short testimony; then Preacher asked if anyone else had anything to share. Then one person after another started sharing ways God has been working in their lives. When the testimonies began to lull, Preacher asked for the song to be sung again. After that another person was called to play and sing song about Through the Blood, more testimonies, then another felt let to sing medley about Gentle Shepherd. My mind gets blurry after this on the order of what happened because the Lord started dealing with me on some issues in my life. There was more testimonies then the congregation sang "It Is Well With My Soul" followed by more sharing. Then Preacher preached a mimi sermon. A couple more testimonies and "Amazing Grace" was sung by the congregation. This all took place over the time period of about 90+ minutes.

I understand better the scripture about our spirit making intercession and praying with utterances and groanings. My tears fell continually: As I shared about my two sons getting complete assurance of salvation this week, as I listened to the words of the song knowing that Jesus is my gentle shepherd, as I pictured Jim's casket getting lowered in the ground and hearing myself sing "It is Well With My Soul", crying out to Jesus on behalf of a friend trying to give her son over to the LORD, singing Amazing Grace that Jim would sing to the boys as a lullabye. Tears...........some were of joy, some of gratitude, some of grief, some for reasons I can't explain. I didn't want the service to end. I felt all snuggled up in my Heavenly Father's arms and I wanted to stay there.

Some would say the spirit of God fell down, others would say it was just emotions. This much I know my cup is full and I can confidently say "and I know that HE is LORD.'

November 12, 2009

And They Shall Know....

"And they shall know that I am the LORD" I have found this phrase repeated several times in Ezekiel and a couple times it says " and ye shall know that I am the Lord GOD" and "and thou shalt know that I am the LORD."

Alot of difficult situations are occuring right now in the lives of people I care deeply about. Some of it is scary and others overwhelmingly painful. But when wondering what is going on, I felt God whisper to my heart, "they shall know that I am the Lord." Through these difficult trials, God is going to reveal Himself to others, and also to me.

Our preacher gave us a message a few weeks back about how God is behind the dark clouds. With us we see, good or bad. But with Him it is good. He makes all things work together for good. I know that through my own trials the Lord teaches me more about Him and more about myself. So as the rain pours down and the sky seems to be falling, I cling to His words, "and they shall know that I am the LORD."

November 09, 2009

Hosea 2

At church last week, an old friend shook my hand and said, "You are going to have to tell me about this," as he examined my right hand. I knew what he was refering to. On my pointer finger of my right hand I have a ring of sorts made out of a simple hairtie. It is kind of a "string on your finger" reminder. I haven't found a real ring that is suitable yet, so in the mean time this works.

Now you too are probably wondering what it symbolizes. In a nutshell, Hosea 2. Verse 16 says "And it shall be at that day, saith the LORD, that thou shalt call me Ishi; and shalt call me no more Baali." To my understanding, Ishi means my husband and Baali means my master. So it reminds me that God is my Husband. Then looking down to verses 19 & 20. "And I will betroth thee unto me for ever; yea, I will betroth thee unto me in righteousness, and in judgment, and in lovingkindness, and in mercies. I will even betroth thee unto me in faithfulness: and thou shalt know the LORD."

To be betrothed is as binding as being married. In this day and age, I realized marriage isn't honored like it once was, but to be betrothed is to be in a covenant with someone. It is legally binding. The words righteousness, judgment, lovingkindness, mercies, faithfulness are not words that I can keep towards my LORD, they are HIS promises to me!!!

By the way, that word lovingkindness is hesed in Hebrew which is the word describing love that is between a husband and wife. I know that love, I experienced that deep love where you cherish one another as a treasure. I miss that love and my beloved, my treasure, my Jim...

To this widowed heart of mine being in a love relationship with my LORD is safe, healing, refreshing, and motivating. Viewing God as my Husband keeps my heart where it should be: Focused on Christ. Loving HIM more than anything else, above my kids, above myself. It motivates me to listen to HIM more, to obey HIM more, to strive to be better for HIM. I am promised to marry the King of Kings and Lord of Lords; I am a future bride to royalty! Even though I am a poor peasant girl, I need to carry myself like a princess because in His eyes that is what I am. My reminder on my finger simply states, " I am deeply loved and cherished by SOMEONE very special and I need to act like it!!!!"