May 13, 2009
Kisses from God
Several weeks ago, I had a date with God. I know to some of you this might seem strange. Actually it is necessary for me in my growth as a person and as a Christian. Some moms seek "ME Time," these moms share how they need alone time to recharge. For me, I find that what the Bible says "for without Me ye can do nothing."(John 15:5) is true. Time with God is refreshing, rejuvenating, and necessary.
I have my daily time with my Lord morning and night, but just as it is highly recommended to have dates with your spouse, I apply that to my relationship with the Lord. I get alone somewhere with a journal and my Bible. In the past, I have sought God for answers on big decisions, healing on grief issues, or strength through tough times. This last date with God was a little different. I felt Him seeking to talk to me about a few things....things He wanted me to change. I knew it was going to be a date filled with tears, but also lots of love. God loves us the way we are, but He loves us too much to let us stay that way. I knew I was suppose to look over some lessons that the Lord had brought up in Ladies Bible Study. But I wasn't prepared for the journey into my past. Like most of you, there are things from my childhood and adolescence that I wish I could just delete or rewrite. Even so, God was still there watching and waiting for me to turn to Him.
As I recalled memories, I began to see them from a different perspective. I felt like I was a little girl sitting on my Father's lap looking at pictures from my past. He listened to my telling of the story, then shared His perspective. Often I said "this hurt" and He'd say, "Give it to Me" I would say, "They......" He' d say, "Forgive." Many tears and hours later, I felt so rejuvenated and wrapped up in God's love. (My friend who was watching the boys said I was just glowing. And I felt it.)
As I left to go pick up the kids, I thought about dates my husband and I had and how now I felt very similar inside. Like I was very much in love. Right before I got in my vehicle, I felt God speak to my heart. "Where's my kiss?" Haven't we all heard dates are suppose to end with a kiss. Now I once challenged God that He doesn't give hugs and He set me straight. So I was very apprehensive about this. I leaned against the door and looked down at my toes like a shy school girl. Psalms says God is a lifter of my head so I lifted up my head to heaven and opened my eyes. The sky that night took my breath away; stars glittered like diamonds from horizon to horizon. And I felt a tingling all the way down to my toes, knowing the Creator of all that still has time for little me. Did I feel a kiss on my lips like my husband would have done? No, but God is teaching me little by little how things of the spirit are not the same as the physical. But physical things show us much about spiritual things. And within my spirit I felt the passion of a Savior who know everything about me and still loves me anyway.