This past week has been one of intense prayer. At one point I said to my praying sister that I felt like I was at the garden of Gethsemane. It was some of the most intense praying I have done for another individual. The battle was so strong!
I expected God to move in certain ways and was crushed when it didn't happen. Bad things got worse and the whole situation escalated quickly. Soon I felt like we had been snatched from the garden and were at the vicious cross and experiencing the pain of death. Relationships were being destroyed before my eyes and the enemy seemed to be laughing us to scorn for believing God to do a miracle.
When the dust settled, I will admit I even felt weary and defeated. For a brief time I felt like our prayers had been in vain. But that isn't true, prayers never die. God's word talks about them being kept in a vial.
After some rest and prayers from others, I saw that in my weariness I had lowered my shield of faith. God strengthened me to lift up my shield again. Then I took the whole situation to Jesus, put it in His backpack and let Him bear it for me.
By faith, I believe God is still on the throne and His silence only means He is working behind the scene where the real work needs to be done, in the hearts and souls of individuals. After some time playing with the boys in the snow, God impressed upon me to think about what comes after the cross, after death........resurrection.
So I look toward the horizon and breathe a breath of hope. And remember the sweet truth God shared with me months ago: "I am Sovereign even when satan attacks; I am still in control. I will work and who shall let it? Beauty shall rise from the ashes." So I wait and pray and trust and look for the resurrection of this whole situation.