I had the best talk with Snipp last night. He had made some big steps yesterday.
His Sunday School teacher was talking about the difference about knowing about God and believing He is real. My son raised his hand to share when God became real to him. First, this is a big step for Snipp to raise his hand to share something. Snipp used to not want to speak up in class, and he is my most reserved child.
What he shared was huge and such a sensitive subject to his heart. Snipp said, "When my dad died." He told me that it was all he could do to not cry when he said it. It is just such hard thing to say aloud. Later in Junior Church, his teacher asked him if he could share it with the group. Snipp told me 90% of him was saying NO!!! But he nodded his head anyway. After the teacher shared it with the group, another boy raised his hand and said something to the effect of being sorry that his dad died. Snipp told me he held his breath so he wouldn't cry. It touched his heart so much to have support and compassion from others.
As we discussed this more, Snipp shared that if it had been shortly after Daddy's death, he would have just bawled. Time is a healer. So is the Great Healer, Christ Jesus. The most powerful thing Snipp shared with me was the reason he said that God became real to him when Daddy died. Snipp said, "We didn't need Daddy to take care of us."
I felt split in two. There was a great truth in all this, a truth that stung. In my mind, I know God takes care of us, yet my heart often cries I need Jim. The powerful truth God has shown to my son is that GOD is enough. The God his Daddy loved and prayed to was all Daddy said he was. The God that Mom said would take care of us even though she didn't know how, has done just that.
It took four years for this to be manifested. But to me it was a light at the end of tunnel. This tragedy has not shattered my son's faith, it has solidified it and strengthened it.
Thank You, Jesus, thank You, for seeing the end from the beginning!!!