Revive Me

Psalms 138:7 Though I walk in the midst of trouble, thou wilt revive me: thou shalt stretch forth thine hand against the wrath of mine enemies, and thy right hand shall save me.
My pastor preached Sunday about Revival.  He quoted a man who said, "Go home, draw a circle around yourself, and ask God to revive everything inside that circle."  During invitation, I knelt at the pew I was in.  I was the only one in that pew and I felt God so close to me. 

As I prayed for God to revive me, I felt Him speak to my heart to obey what He had told me to do.  I had to think for a moment, but then I knew what He was talking about.  Two weeks ago during prayer meeting I was praying out loud, I was about to say "Thank You for this church family." But as I said thank you, I felt God prick my heart to say Thank you for taking Jim..............well I didn't. It was such a private thing to say in front of others. It is such a difficult thing to think let alone verbalize. So I caught my breath and then just thanked God for my church family. 

So Sunday I knew what I was suppose to do. So verbally out loud I told God thank You for taking Jim. Then the wave of tears came and I wept. The tears were of mixed emotions: grief, gratefulness, humility, brokenness.  Without Jim in my life, I have pursued Christ in a way I never did when Jim was here. 

I still miss Jim so much.  Even in typing those words, tears come yet again. A part of me became crippled when he left my side.  But the Lord used that crippling to draw me closer to His side. And draw others to Himself as well. There is so many ripples that God knew about that I didn't.

In Sunday School we have been studying about the miracles of Christ.  Time and time again He is healing people and GOD is glorified. But there are times, when the Lord allows people to be crippled either physically or deep within their soul so He is glorified.   The LORD continues to teach me how to thrive in Him.  To find my completeness in Him. But He also understands the grief in my heart that makes me walk with a limp in my soul.

Strength

  Psalms 138:3 In the day when I cried thou answeredst me, and strengthenedst me with strength in my soul.

  Psalms 138:7 Though I walk in the midst of trouble, thou wilt revive me: thou shalt stretch forth thine hand against the wrath of mine enemies, and thy right hand shall save me.

Psalms 138:8 The LORD will perfect that which concerneth me: thy mercy, O LORD, endureth for ever: forsake not the works of thine own hands.
These are the verses God shared with me as I read my Bible on Jim's birthday.  It is so hard to believe that it was nine years ago that Jim was fixing the van during the rain and sleet.  Nine years ago he
came in with ice covering his beard, ate supper and had cake with us.  He opened his presents of warm flannel shirts, tucked the boys into bed and then went back out to finish fixing the van. Nine years ago we decorated the dining room with streamers that would remain hanging up till after his death.

Tears bubbled on the surface of my churning emotions for half of the day.  They finally spilled over when we were watching home videos. But as the day went on, my strengthen within grew.  The boys and I had a good day together remembering, honoring, living.

LORD, I Come to You

I know it has been much, much too long since I wrote.
Life gets so busy as I balance all the hats in my life, and I find myself not having as much free time on the computer. Another reason is that there has been some heavy private prayers on my heart that others have shared with me.  And I find that when I am carrying things like that I tend to cocoon myself. Maybe it is so I don't accidentally share what I shouldn't, maybe because by being silent it helps me hold back the tears, maybe some of what God shares with me or what I share with Him is so sacred though I long to share it words just don't do it justice. Whatever the reason, I know it has been toooooooo long since I blogged and journaled. I enjoy writing and it is very therapeutic for me.  There has been several times in the few months when I thought, " I so need to blog this."  It has happened enough that I come to my computer when I should be asleep and find the release of words so healing.




Where to start?


Why today of course.  I went to the mailbox and there was a simple sweet note from a sister-in-Christ and a sister-in-sorrow.  "Praying this will be an encouragement to you today!" and  the following was with it:




Lord, I Come to You
Read: John 6:65-69


" Lord, I come to You," ad my heart is comforted already, just in coming.
"Lord,"
my Saviour,
the Lord of my life, who knows, understands, and plans all for good, the One who has all the power I need for this hour.
"I come,"
so needy,
in my weakness and my inability,
with burdens pressing on my heart,
when my tongue cannot frame the words or utter my deep longings,
with tears of sorrow for my wretched failures, and needing forgiveness.
"To You,"
in trust, claiming Your promises,
in confidence, acknowledging that You know what You are doing in my life,
for comfort in the cares that fret and wear,
for strength to plod on faithfully and know this too shall pass.
"Lord, I Come to You," with gratitude that You are there.




I don't know who wrote this to give credit to at the moment.
But I know Who knew I needed it this day.
My Lord, my Best Friend, the Lover of my soul, my Jesus, my Saviour............
He knew and He had this come at just the right time.


LORD, I Come to YOU........

Be Willing

Be willing...........................

            To do it GOD's way............

And let your actions prove your heart.

~CLS

What Can I Do? Part 1

We are heading into our Fall Sunday School Campaign.
It is titled What Can I Do?

When Jesus was missing and Mary and Joseph found Him in the temple, He asked them, "wist ye not that I must be about my Father's business?" I want to be about my Heavenly Father's business and so do many of the children in our Sunday School.  So I am looking forward to the next 7 Super Sundays.

Wk 1
As I prepared for Sunday's lesson, I was reminded of Mark 12:30 that I learned when I was 21 and newly saved.  I remember sitting at the kitchen table and God opening my eyes to the truth of that verse.  I always thought the golden rule was the greatest commandment.  Thought the LORD does what us to treat others how we want to be treated, Mark 12:30 is even more important.
  
And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment.

So the first and most important way to be about my Father's business is to invest all of me into my relationship with HIM.  Time spent in prayer greatly develops this relationship as I pour my heart out to Him and He pours His heart into mine.  Spending time with godly people also nurtures this relationship as they encourage me in my relationship with the LORD.  And I need to be teachable in my relationship with the LORD because He has many things to teach me, but I must have a heart that is willing to learn and adjust to what He says.

A week ago I spent much time in prayer for my preacher and others who were going through a difficult trial.  Many times I hit my knees praying and weeping,  and many times I rose up still burdened to pray.  Finally God gave me peace, peace that my preacher was going to be okay, peace that HE heard and HE was working on it.  Then I felt it was time to get up and trust.  Trust HIM to work in this trial, trust HIM to heal, trust HIM to make it be okay like HE said HE would.  Sometimes it can be a battle to trust, especially if the enemy has us tricked into believing lies.  But I know my God loves my preacher and knows what is best for him.  And God told me it was going to be okay and He has never lied to me.  So I trusted and prayed for his family to feel the same blanket of peace.  God was true to HIS word; everything is okay, preacher is healing from his surgery, and through all that praying my heart was drawn even closer to my LORD. 

God is Sovereign

Today is one of those days when I have been allowed to see God's perfect timing displayed before my eyes. Often we don't understand why we seemed delayed at one place or that God impresses on our heart to do this or that, but when you find yourself exactly where God planned for you to be to be used of HIM, it is an awesome thing.  My God is Sovereign.  He has a plan.  Many times I run too far ahead of Him and I miss it.  But today wasn't one of those days.  Today was a day when the enemy kept seeking to prevail and God kept limiting him.  Today was a day when I tried to discern more dilegently the LORD's leading.  Today was a day that was spent in much prayer and sometimes seeing discouragement around me.  But today was also a day when GOD said, "Let me show you just a glimpse of what I am up to in the lives of others. "  Wow!