February 20, 2010

And I Love Me!

Tonight as little Snurr and I were cuddling I gave him several squeezes and said, "Mommy loves you, and Daddy loves you, and Jesus loves you soooooo much He died for you!"

Little Snurr rolled with this and added, "And Grandma S. loves me, and Snipp and Snapp love me, and Grandma G. loves me, and Grandpa B. loves me, and Grandpa S. loves me, and..."

So I chimed in, "And Preacher loves you, and Mrs. A. loves you, and Mrs. K. loves you, and L. loves you...."

And he interrupted, "And M. loves me, and Aunt S. loves me, and ....... I love myself!!

I know I missed fifteen or more other friends and relatives he rattled off, but you get the point. What made me smile so big was when Snurr proclaimed, "And I love myself!"

How many teenagers or adults for that matter can truly say they loved themselves wholeheartedly like that? This little critter feels so surrounded by love he can't help but love himself.

If we could just fathom how deep and pure and strong and measureless is God's love that we too would feel so surround by His love that we could say wholeheartedly, "And I love me!"

Philippians 1:12

But I would ye should understand, brethren, that the things which happened unto me have fallen out rather unto the furtherance of the gospel;

Today I felt like these words were not Paul's, but my husband's. "I want you to understand, Honey, that what happened to me happened to further the gospel."

It brought to mind another verse, "Verily, verily, I say unto you, Except a corn of wheat fall into the ground and die, it abideth alone: but if it die, it bringeth forth much fruit." John 12:24

I haven't seen all the "fruit" yet from Jim's death, but I have seen many little shoots sprouting up. He planted many seeds in his life here, and I see how his death caused many of them to take root.

What Brings Comfort?

A friend recently asked this question on her blog. I responded with the comments below.

Different things bring comfort at different times.

Today it was footprints in the snow to my husband's grave. Someone else remembers, someone else misses him.

Many physical things of comfort are connected to my beloved: wearing his lined flannel shirts, hugging pillows made from his shirts, looking at his pictures, seeing him on a home movie, certain smells, his coveralls, notes/cards, seeing a toothpick, wrapping up in a blanket he gave me.....

Other things of comfort come from others: phone calls, long chats, hugs, more hugs, my children's smiles, someone sharing a memory, their prensence in my home, little gifts, words of encouragement, praying with me, praying over me and mine outloud.....

Music and journalling have been a great comfort. Crying too is a comfort to release all the emotions within.

Reading through the Psalms as well as other books of the Bible. Letting it speak to me personally. Then clinging to the truth God shares.

God dates-getting alone with God for several hours in a special place where I can't be interrupted.

One of the most comforting of these times is what first popped into my head when I read your post.

It was a warm breezy day and I was going on a God date. I wasn't sure where I was driving, but I ended up visiting an old country cemetary. Jim and I had gone there when we were dating.I could still feel our love there. It may sound morbid, but we liked to look at the stones and see how the people were related and how old they were and things.

Anyway, it is a beautiful place. There is a rise on top of one of the little hills that looks out over the countryside. It is very peaceful there. I sat on the top of that hill and just poured out my heart to the Lord as the wind blew around me carrying my sobs away. I was there for hours. It was the longest I had been away from the children since my husband had departed to Heaven. I cried for a long while. I questioned God and I shared my fears, worries, and heartache. Finally, I had no more to say.

I sat silent and just let the wind whip my hair around and the sunlight warm my face. I felt God so near to me. I don't remember Him sharing anything, I just remember feeling very loved. When I left, I felt more alive than I had in months. The sea of fear, worry, and deep agony was calm. I still ached for my husband terrible, but God's love was surrounding me like an armour.

I guess these two scripture sum up where my greatest comfort came from and still comes from:

"Draw nigh to God and He will draw nigh to you." Also "Be still and know I am God."

Apple Pie

Recently the boys and I were reading a delightful book called How To Make Apple Pie and See the World. One of the boys piped up, "Let's make an apple pie!" My heart sunk.

Early that week, the boys and I had made homemade bread and homemade dinner rolls. I used to time these mouthwatering treats to be done cooking just as Jim arrived home from work. I have made them only a handful of times since his departure to heaven. Each time it was a duty, not a joy like it used to be. But when we had made them this time, it was a joy, a surprising joy and quite funny with six little hands helping to knead the doughs:) And they turned out wonderfully! The reward was Snipp devouring them saying, "These taste just like you used to make them, Mom!"

But apple pie? I just didn't feel like I had the strength to make apple pie. Long ago and far away making apple pie was one of those special things I made to delight my husband. Reluctantly, I searched for my receipe, and sighed a sigh of relief when I couldn't find it.

Several hours later an old friend stopped by briefly. She had been baking that day and the Lord put it on her heart to bring over some goodies. A homemade loaf of bread and pie. Yup, you guessed it! Apple pie!!!

Every step of this journey, God is revealing Himself to us in different ways. He has shown Himself strong as a financial provider, sliver remover, and now as the God of Apple Pie:)

God is good and He is sweet. Sweet as apple pie. It gives a whole new picture to the verse "O taste and see that the LORD is good: blessed is the man that trusteth in him."Psalm 34:8

February 08, 2010

Precious Gifts

Prayers from friends and family, words of encouragement,

a hug from my father, thoughtful gifts to encourage a single mom,

a phone call from my sister-in-law, and much more.......

These were precious gifts this time of year. There is one particular gift I want to mention in more detail. It is called a Reunion Heart necklace. It just may be what you or someone you care about needs during this month of love. The poem below came in the case.

Since Heaven has become your home

I sometimes feel I'm so alone;

and though we now are far apart

you hold a big piece of my heart.

I never knew how much I'd grieve

when it was time for you to leave,

or just how much my heart would ache

from that one fragment you would take.

God lets this tender hole remain

reminding me we'll meet again,

and one day all the pain will cease

when He restores the missing piece.

For Jesus heals each tiny part

that holds your memory in my heart.

This tearful heart reminds me of

when He'll unite us in His love.