Snurr's Lessons

As Snurr settled down for bed we reviewed lessons he had learned that day:

• Liquid soap is awesome at getting copper pipe to slide off your finger that didn't belong there in the first place.
• Messes take seconds to make and hours to clean up.
• Locking someone in the pump house or a room is just like kidnapping.
• Obey Mom the first time.
• Sometimes lost dogs come home on their own; and only God knows of their adventures.

As I left his room, I encouraged him to talk to God about things he did wrong that day and share about what he learned. A little while later, I heard the mumbled voice cry out, "Why? God, Why?"  As I listened, my youngest was pouring out his heart to Jesus about his daddy.......I walked in his room and just held him as he sobbed.  My tears joined him as he said, "It never hurt like this before." I have walked this road with his brothers; it isn't an easy one.  He has grown more in understanding so it is natural for the grief to go to a deeper level.

We talked about many things, I then shared with him how I used to pray for the Great Comforter to come and hold me all night when I hurt so much missing Daddy.  I told him how God was faithful and He did it, many, many times.  We hugged and I prayed over him, gave him a Daddy pillow to hug and wrapped him up in my favorite blanket.  Soon sleep came for Snurr.

My heart was heavy and my ache was raw again.  This is the hardest part of being a widow, feeling helpless as your children grieve their father.   I know the LORD loves Snurr more than I do and I know He promised to heal him.  But us moms get used to being able to fix all the hurts or shield our children from them to begin with.  Grief is a hurt that is so deep and so personal, all I can do is try to help him express his grief in a healthy ways and pray intensely for healing.

Burdens like this are too heavy for one woman.  I poured out my own heart to the LORD.  Then I shared my aching heart with some late-night praying sisters. Their prayers, words, and understanding were comforting.  One encouraged me to pray Jeremiah 29:11-13 with and for Snurr.  What sweet verses:   

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. Then shall ye call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me, and I will hearken unto you.  And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart. 

This morning Snurr was in the same position he was when I last checked on him the night before.  He slept soundly all night.  Thank You, Jesus!  I told him about wanting to share some verses that a friend had shared with me.  I flipped to Jeremiah 49 by mistake and read verse 11: Leave thy fatherless children, I will preserve them alive; and let thy widows trust in me.

Isn't that a widow's fear?  That the grief will destroy the children.  That the enemy will use it to pull them from God.  The Lord will preserve the fatherless children.....AMEN!!!  Let thy widows trust in GOD.....isn't that what we learn to do with these grieving children?  Carry them to the altar and lay them in His arms, then pray and wait for healing to come. And it will come.  The Lord promised:
 Psalms 147:3 He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds.

After I read Jeremiah 49:11, we smiled how God can use a mistake of mine to be exactly what we both needed to hear.  Then I went back to Jeremiah 29:11-13.  We discussed what it meant then I prayed it over him.  Later, I heard Snurr tell his brothers that the verses in Jeremiah brought him comfort and peace.  AMEN!!  God's Word is very much alive and at work.

Another lesson for Snurr.  A very, very important one.

 

Mathematics for the Heart

Forgiveness + Gratitude = A Change in Attitude

The Rescuers

The other day when we were at my folks, Snipp, Snapp, and Snurr came shouting at me to come outside there was a kitten.  The little fellow was meowing loudly hiding in a busyh.  He was hungry, scared, and not really excited about being rescued. Snapp finally caught him.  We had to be wrapped the poor fellow in a towel to keep Snipp from being scratched.  Snurr got to close and got bit.  After much discussion and inquiring, we discovered he didn't belong to any neighbors and we delivered him to a farm up the road.  There he would have food and companionship with other felines.

After we headed home, Snipp held out his hand and said, "Smell, Mom!"  Phew!  He stank.  It was the same dead smell we smelled near the woodpile where the kitten was finally rescued.  We concluded that who ever he was traveling with must have gotten injured and crawled in the woodpile to die.  The faithful kitten must have stayed with his companion quite awhile after it died.  The little fellow stank like death even though he was a healthy kitten.

Isn't like just like us??
We don't recognize sin as sin.  It is our travel companion.  James tells us when sin is finished it bringeth forth death.  We hang around it until we reek of it.  Even after we are rescued, we stink and rebel.  Not realizing the wonderful blessings we have been given.  He gives a new life!  The Lord lovingly holds us, not minding the stink, as He gives us comfort. 

I can learn a few things from a cute, stinky kitty:

• Hanging around sin will make me stink.  Call sin sin and depart from it.
• Reaching out to help others may be a stinky job. Jesus did it for me, I can do it for HIM.
• Don't lash out at Christ when life doesn't seem to be going so well. (Don't lash out at other loved ones either.)
• When life seems to go from bad to worse, the LORD might be in the middle of rescuing me from something I didn't know I needed rescuing from.
• When I feel afraid, lonely, stinky or hungry (spiritually), Jesus will hear my cry and come to me.
  

Psalm 15

After the last late night post, I want to say GOD was faithful. Today is a gift full of possibilities and I feel stronger.  The peace still reigns in my heart.


Psalms 15
   LORD, who shall abide in thy tabernacle? who shall dwell in thy holy hill?
He that walketh uprightly, and worketh righteousness, and speaketh the truth in his heart.
He that backbiteth not with his tongue, nor doeth evil to his neighbour, nor taketh up a reproach against his neighbour.In whose eyes a vile person is contemned; but he honoureth them that fear the LORD. He that sweareth to his own hurt, and changeth not. He that putteth not out his money to usury, nor taketh reward against the innocent. He that doeth these things shall never be moved.

I read this Psalm this morning.  And I like to try to personalize what I read.

You could say it is telling me how to be godly, how to be a Christlike.

• Walk uprightly
• Work righteousness
• Speak the truth in my heart
• Don't backbite with my tongue
• Don't do evil to my neighbor
• Don't take up reproach against my neighbor
• Contemn a vile person
• Honor those the fear the LORD
• Swear to my own hurt and change not
• Don't put my money to usury
• Dont take a reward against the innocent
• Do these and I shall not be moved.

Now that is the list.  But what is the meaning of them?
( Quotes are from av1611.com KJV Bible Dictionary online)

Walk Uprightly: Walk is an action.  So it is doing things "Honestly; with strict observance of morally correct behavior or thinking."  Simply put Do what is right!

Work Righteousness: "Purity of heart.... and conformity of heart and life to the divine law. Righteousness, as used in Scripture and theology, in which it is chiefly used, is nearly equivalent to holiness.. It includes all we call justice, honesty and virtue."  Simply put Put forth effort to be just and virtuous.

Speak the truth in my heart: No dictionary needed here. Tell myself the truth.  So often we believe and tell ourselves lies.  Get rid of stinkin'thinkin'! Let the enemy have no place in my mind and emotions.

Don't backbite with my tongue: "To slander, reproach, or speak evil of the absent" Simply put, talking about someone in a negative way when they aren't there to defend themselves.

Don't do evil to my neighbor: This one is simply stated. Don't do wrong to others.

Don't take up reproach against my neighbor: In other words, don't speak negatively about them,  being accusitory, instead do my part to get along with my neighbors.  I am to be a witness to them.

Contemn a vile person: Witness against their wickness.  Call sin SIN.  They are usually unrepentant so separate yourself from them.

Honor those that fear the LORD: Fearing the LORD is more than a reverance for God, it literally means fearing HIM, realizing HE is GOD and is in charge and we are not.

Swear to my own hurt and change not:  Keep my word even when it is difficult and hurts; don't change from what I promised.

Don't put my money to usury:  I had to do some digging on usury. Basically that is loans with  interests, usually high interest.  So don't loan money and try to make money. My Pastor recommends not loaning any money I wouldn't be comfortable giving as a gift.  On the flip side, don't borrow money that requires I pay alot of interest.  I am thankful my parents taught me not to spend what I didn't have.

Don't take a reward against the innocent:  This is fairly self explainatory.

Do these and I shall not be moved.  There is strength in doing life God's way.

This was a great Psalm to study.  I am looking forward to sharing this with the boys.
Now to work on being a doer of the word.

It's Back.

Ever feel like your grief is choking you? Some people say they get lumps in their throats. That isn't what it feel like to me. It feels like it hurts to talk or breathe. Gives a real understanding to the phrase "choked up". Well, tonight it hit.

Maybe because Father's Day is coming soon.
Maybe because my oldest has entered youth group and that signals that the rough waters of teenager are coming fast.
Maybe because my youngest was crying tonight because he hurts not having any memory of his dad, not ever having met him.
Maybe because my middleman looks at me a certain way and he looks so much like his dad.
Maybe because being a widow, a singlemom, and a homeschool mom is just a lot somedays.
I don't know......there are countless little things that can add up to a grief wave or just one thing in particular.

Either way, tonight the floodgates broke, tears ran like rivers once again, and the old sensation of wanting to cry out and feeling choked instead come. I tried to voice it all to God, much of it wouldn't come out.

But as always after the tears, the comfort comes.
A peace that passes all understanding.
A reassurance of God's presence and tender care.
And as I remembered all the promises and how God has kept each one,
even more peace surrounds me.
So once again, I ask for Him to hold me all night long.
Till morning comes with new mercy and hope.
And I know HE will because He held me up through so much already.

I just stand amazed sometimes about how deep my grief can be,
even almost 7 and a half years later. It is a strong reminder to be sensative to others grieving.
We just don't know what they maybe dealing with, no matter how long their loved one has been gone.

I didn't go back and repolish this post.
I've decided to leave it, as raw and open as it is.
And with this final thought: God is faithful, no matter how much it hurts!

Only Almighty God....

As I sat and listened to my preacher Sunday night, Almighty God reminded me again that He is everywhere and knows everything, even the things hidden in the heart.

Only the Omniscient God could hear the silent prayer of my heart, and begin to answer it using my pastor's sermon.

Only The Great Teacher knew of my conversation with Snapp earlier that day and have the preacher uses the same biblical example in his sermon. 

Only the Everlasting Father knew about the struggle between me and Snipp that afternoon and had my preacher use the same key phrase I had spoken to my son about his father.

Only God knew.......
Oh, there are so many things if I would just notice them more....

Only the Maker of Eternity can make the timing work so I could go to my niece's concert and also make it to my 5th grader girls' spring concert as well, even though they were in towns 30miles apart.

Only the All Wise God could have me pick a curriculum two years ago that would require Snurr to memorize Psalm 1 and put it so deeply in his heart that is what he just had to preach at Preachfest. 

Only my Beloved LORD loves me so much that even though He knows how I messed up and failed yesterday in many ways, He still greeted me with sunshine and mercy this morning.  Only the Great Comforter can wrap His love around my heart and bring healing to my heart and soul.

Oh, dear reader, I pray that you understand how real and personal the LORD is and that you feel Him working on you and in your life.