June 01, 2010

Sweet Dream

I had a dream the other night about Jim. This is rare. The last dream I had with him in it was over 6 months ago and I woke up crying. This time I woke up with a smile and sweet peace filling my soul. It was a precious gift from God. The memory of it will be treasured and I can still hear his words echoing in my heart, "I am proud of you for facing your fears."

I woke up feeling like his bride again, I woke up feeling giddy and dreamy. When I looked at his pictures I felt emotions again, love and joy, peace and contentment. How long has it been that looking at his pictures made me feel numb.......weeks? months? a year? I don't know, but I know that it is gone, the numbness is melted away and there is a loving tenderness again that has been missing. I gaze at his picture and I feel his gaze touching my soul again. And can't help but smile.

He could always make me smile, no matter how upset or angry I was, Jim had a way of making me smile. Praise the Lord his picture and his memory can still do that. Because I know that I don't smile near as much as I used to. And alot of the smiles I do smile, don't go down to the bottom of my toes like they used to. I know it, I feel the difference...........

Anyway, what a precious dream.

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