The Bullet Creek Boys

I was teasing Snipp, Snapp, and Snurr today that they are the Bullet Creek Boys. We love the Sugar Creek Gang series and enjoy reading through the books out loud as a family. Lately with the weather so nice we have been exploring the creek near our home. Today they longed to do it again. I was curled up in my warm bed reading a book when Snipp came in and asked if we could go down to the creek.

I will admit my first thought wasn't yes. But I went and watch some crazy boys play in the chilly water.

Just like a couple days previous when Snipp asked me to play football after he got his school work done. I hesitated to say yes then too. Though I did end up saying yes. We had a grand time playing catch and a one-on-one game with me losing 18-30.

Some people say I need to turn away from the past and move forward. Yet the past is the key to going forward.

The day before my husband died, the boys wanted to take a walk in the woods. I had just done that with them 3 days previous and wasn't excited about the idea. Actually I didn't even plan on going; I felt exhausted as being pregnant will do to you. I planned to take a nap naturally. But the words of my husband stopped me and I went anyway. We had a great time exploring the woods and made a memory the boys have cherished. I almost missed it. It scares me I almost missed it. A little over 24 hours later, Jim was gone from us.......

What powerful words did Jim speak that changed my plans?

"What is so important?"

And that is the same thought that made me skip housework and play football.

It is the same words that echoed in my head and got me out of my comfy bed and set my interesting book aside.

"What is so important?"

Words from the past that are keys to the future.

A future in which I plan to leave a legacy of the kind of mom I dream of being.

So what is so important?

Many things but at the top of my list,
right under Christ are my Bullet Creek Boys.

Thank You, Jesus, for the sweet, funny, adventurous, deep thinking, brave boys You have blessed me with. Though parenting them can seem exhausting, they have been tools in Your hands to make me a better person. They challenge me to stick close to You and be brave.

Like Papa Piccolo says, "Oh, the adventures we have!!!"

Through the Eyes of Time

Today I saw an old friend at the library. We hadn't chatted much since September and it was great to visit. The more we chatted, the more I realized how much clearer I see how God has been working in my life. Catching up with an old friend who loves the Lord as much as I do was exciting. She could see what I was seeing, how the Lord has just been stretching me, expanding my "borders", drawing others into my life for His purpose.....and I stand amazed.

Through the eyes of time, I can see how God started me on a journey within the journey of young widowhood. He had me begin to looking beyond my pain and heartache and become a grief mentor of sorts. Some fingerprints of God on our lives: we have put back on our weekly menu the same meal we were having the night Jim died, my love for baking has returned much to the boys delight, I have called strangers and shared my story, I've become more of a let's-pray-right-now kind of prayer warrior, nine different young widows' lives have crossed mine, some have become precious friends, articles were written that God used to help others, I have become a sort of texting prayer warrior, an informal email support group started, my children have begun to reach out to other hurting children and see how God is enough even when they miss Daddy so much....and these are just the first layer of fingerprints that I see. I know there is more, many more on my heart where the Lord has touched me and changed me for my good and His glory.

Teachable Moments

My son came to my room this morning. We snuggled as we read his Bible together and discussed his devotional unhurried without having to meet a school bus. Then the talk lead to another teachable moment about how a good leader cannot lead by emotion. My young son and I talked about having our wills lined up with God's will so that our mind and emotions follow instead of our emotions leading our thinking to do our own will. It was a grand discussion that he really seemed to take in and he added to it his own comments and thought-provoking questions. God even used my own tongue to teach me something! (Now I know why my preacher often says he is preaching to himself.) I praise the Lord for His wisdom on my tongue and the teachable moments He gives me with my sons. I miss them somedays, but I am glad I listened to the Holy Spirit's prompting and seized the moment this day.

Deuteronomy 6: 5-7 And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might. And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.

Isaiah 12

This scripture was words of life to me this week;
I will share my personal thoughts in green.

Isaiah 12

1And in that day thou shalt say, O LORD, I will praise thee: though thou wast angry with me, thine anger is turned away, and thou comfortedst me.
I know there is much in my life I have done that was not pleasing to the LORD. If we all were honest, we all have done wrong things against God. Lied, stole, been prideful, greedy, lustful, dishonoring to parents, rebellious against authority, loved things or people more than HIM (idolatry), been slothful, angry, ungrateful, revengeful, and just plain old selfish. Proverbs 8: 36a says, "But he that sinneth against me wrongeth his own soul" All that sin that seemed so pleasurable, was really very damaging to me. But I will praise Him for when I cried out to Him in repentance, HE COMFORTED ME!

2Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust, and not be afraid: for the LORD JEHOVAH is my strength and my song; he also is become my salvation.
Amen!! Daily He reminds me I can do nothing good without HIM, He IS my strength, my song, and my salvation.

3Therefore with joy shall ye draw water out of the wells of salvation.
Ah, how sweet and refreshing it is to drink.


4And in that day shall ye say, Praise the LORD, call upon his name, declare his doings among the people, make mention that his name is exalted.
This verse really stood out to me. It convicted me that I need to be doing a better job at testifying of His "doings" in my life. I need to be praising the LORD verbally outloud. My kids and others need to see me calling upon His name, not just in times of stress and trouble, but times of peace and joy. I need to be declaring to others what He has been doing in my life this week, even this day. I need to make mention of Him so the name of the LORD is exalted.

5Sing unto the LORD; for he hath done excellent things: this is known in all the earth. This reminded me of my life verse Psalm 28:7 "The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusted in him, and I am helped: Therefore my heart greatly rejoiceth, and with my song will I praise him."

6Cry out and shout, thou inhabitant of Zion: for great is the Holy One of Israel in the midst of thee. Again be verbal with my praise to the LORD and He is in the mist of me....isn't that so true? I have been born again into the family of God and His Holy Spirit is within me. Amazing!

Now you know a little of what HE has been "doing" in my life.

Out of the Mouths of Babes

Young Snapp and I were discussing Barabbas tonight and he said a very thought provoking thing. "I am glad they (the Jews) didn't say release Jesus. Because then we wouldn't have a way to be saved." I told him I never thought about that before.

I often had imagined Barabbas being in the crowd to see who was chosen instead of him to die, watching Christ on the cross knowing it was suppose to be him. Just like I know it is I who deserved to suffer for my sins. But them little rascals have a way of thinking things we don't often think and seeing things different. I can agree with Snapp, I am glad they chose Barabbas to be released too. His release provided the way for me to be reconciled to my God through Christ Jesus.

Revelation

I had the best talk with Snipp last night. He had made some big steps yesterday.

His Sunday School teacher was talking about the difference about knowing about God and believing He is real. My son raised his hand to share when God became real to him. First, this is a big step for Snipp to raise his hand to share something. Snipp used to not want to speak up in class, and he is my most reserved child.

What he shared was huge and such a sensitive subject to his heart. Snipp said, "When my dad died." He told me that it was all he could do to not cry when he said it. It is just such hard thing to say aloud. Later in Junior Church, his teacher asked him if he could share it with the group. Snipp told me 90% of him was saying NO!!! But he nodded his head anyway. After the teacher shared it with the group, another boy raised his hand and said something to the effect of being sorry that his dad died. Snipp told me he held his breath so he wouldn't cry. It touched his heart so much to have support and compassion from others.


As we discussed this more, Snipp shared that if it had been shortly after Daddy's death, he would have just bawled. Time is a healer. So is the Great Healer, Christ Jesus. The most powerful thing Snipp shared with me was the reason he said that God became real to him when Daddy died. Snipp said, "We didn't need Daddy to take care of us."

I felt split in two. There was a great truth in all this, a truth that stung. In my mind, I know God takes care of us, yet my heart often cries I need Jim. The powerful truth God has shown to my son is that GOD is enough. The God his Daddy loved and prayed to was all Daddy said he was. The God that Mom said would take care of us even though she didn't know how, has done just that.

It took four years for this to be manifested. But to me it was a light at the end of tunnel. This tragedy has not shattered my son's faith, it has solidified it and strengthened it.

Thank You, Jesus, thank You, for seeing the end from the beginning!!!